updates...on jaz, ernesto, gunther, grands....

well...jasmine is going into the program at lighthouse ministires.. jan.5th at 10am w/ the girls... i ve been waiting for this..i knew 12/29...that i dont have to deal w/ her anymore..just one more week... now its a matter of days...she has to take this step..her last chance to do something w/ her life...she told me she was going to take all type of classes.. to improved herself.. anger management, parenting, drug...etc...its a yr program that could lead to a 1 and half.. if she goes thru there phases..its church based..rules big time..and im going stay away...for awhile..including not seeing my grands..i need to show her ...that this is it.. im tired..of the verbal abuse..the disrespect and degrading me everytime...because..im not in her its all about me world..according to jas...i may not show up at the hospital when mel'akhi is born...i will see him in the nursey...but i may not be there for his birth..i have to show her..that im not her cructh anymore...basically i ve been taking care of her and the girls this whole time..these last 2.5 years have been..****... and i tired.. of bs..she been keeping the dysfunctional family (me,gunt, willie, ernesto) off track... i mean 2.5 yrs ago... it was just me willie and gunt...and ernesto for a minute... and things were cool...was on medication thru all this..dealing and taking care of family and then jasmine came in to the situation.. and i let it happen.. i kept trying to put my foot down... but she prevailed everytime.. so..im glad she is going...this is the millionth time im turning my back on her ..she has to grow up...take responsabiltiys and ownership of her actions... i want the family visits ..where my kids come see me...and then leave and go to there own homes..............................ernesto.... my baby.... on wednesday 12/31 round trip 400 miles... went to go see him... well it didnt dawn on me.. nor is this on the prison website.. that visitations.. are on the weekends...and i didnt get to see him...i boo hoo cried in the car..leaving the prison... got back home.. and called the chaplin and told him to give a message to ernesto that i was there and i will come to see him 1/10...and tell him i love him.. i had to explain to the chaplin i just made a trip up there and i didnt know u had to visit on wkends...could u give him a message.. so next saturday i will see my ernesto..get to spend 6 hrs w/ him and i will probalby tell him.. to get going w/ your life when u get out.. mama aint going to help u..he will be 24 by then...do something w/ yourself.. ernesto is completely different from jas.. he doesnt disrespect me like her.. but he know i dont take bs from him... i know i put him there in prison but he has to learn u dont steal from your parents... hello... i hope he puts things together.. while he is waiting for 2012...gunther... dang.. jan.6th cant come fast enough... he goes back to school... that boy is on my last nerve.. i grounded him w/ his x-box... for a whole week.. for talking up under his breath.. its time to focus on him and get him to a good better place...since hes has seen all this bs from the older two.. i want to take care of me..for once and willie and gunt gunt...and just be a family with no interuptions...so.. i hope this will happen... so even thou willie lost his job of 21 yrs and having no insurance... and going to a free clinic we get care cuz we are working to get our meds.. so in the last five months i havnt been on meds for the bi-polar crap.. and dealing w/ all these stress.. taking care of the grands... and jas.. and some other folks along the way... i anit helping anyone no more...cause in the end... where are they for me... so im going to shine in 09 no more bs... its time to calm down again ..a couple of notches down... and live w/ my hubby and bighead(gunt) and live life...dang this is a long blog.. but i said i would update....bonnie

HAPPY NEW YEAR...2009

everyone have a happy new year...

MEL'AKHI BISHOP RAY......

MY GRANDSON AT 18 WEEKS.... HERE IS SOME PICS....

HIM WAVING IS THE BOTTOM ONE AND THE TOP ONE IS A SMALL ARROW... OF HIS PETERWACKER...LOL... MY BOY..LOVE GRANNY

the next three days....

well i have to do labs tommorrow for the doctor... and take jasmine to lighthouse mini.. she will find out her moved in date to start the program... tuesday she gets her ultrasound to see how far along she really is..i dont think may 15th is the due date..more like april..and to see if im having a grandson...im keeping my fingers cross.. and wednesday i will take a long drive to go see ernesto in jasper fl...5miles from ga state line... i will updated... bon