me

BONNIE WEEZA AGEE

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BUT

Saturday, August 20, 2011

my eyes wide open.....

WAKE THE FUCK UP BONNIE........i am...i anit taking the rejection crap from him again....man i dont want me to go off on you....(hubby)...man i just so f en pissed...on how i really feel....i just put seperated on fb...yes he is here in the house...i just ignored him...im literally tired of this bullshit...works a three hour job...eat sleep and work in that order...and u have to sleep for 21hours...whatever....now that im working a 9/5job and bringing more money in the house...(under the table at that)...im just going to pay the bills...and start saving moneys and taking care of me....they both have shelter, food and clothes...im done....thank god my boy is 16 can feed himself...im done...

so...i know what i have to do...i kinda of said what i needed to say to be..about this situation with the hub...but give me a minute...cuz once i express this on my blog....i will be at that IDGAF ATTITUDE....so im going breathe for a minute...and let it ripped...........

Friday, August 19, 2011

holy bat crap..........

 IM GOING TO HELL...AND IDGAF.......LIVING LIFE...TO ITS FULLEST...GETTIN INTO MAYHEM....CANT TIE THIS BIOTHCH DOWN....IM DOING ME FOR ONCE...LOOKING TOWARDS MY BE...LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT...

FUNNY HOW LIFE HANDS US...WHAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE...THAT LOOK...OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT...AND ITS COMING BACK INTO PLAY.......LADY B...IS HAPPY AND GIDDY AT THE MOMENT....SO IF IM GOING TO HELL...WHO WANTS TO COME...SHIT...WE ARE ON HELL..LOL...................SO IDGAF....................LATER BITCHES....LADY B IS WAITIN...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

holy batman....

it was a good time last night on the phone....even if it was for 10minutes...got alot said in that amount of time...serious talk at that....lol..............love it...wow..............

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

a thought...

last night catching up on my dvr programming....and i was watching ryan and tatum oneal on own ....and he said the light of our children is our life...and why do they hurt you....talking about tears...he hit it on the spot....knowing my daughter has done that to me...WOW....sucks man.......

on to other thoughts.....my friend is down and discouraged....about life....i said....wake up...open your heart ...open your mind...somebody...loves you and cares...when i think about it....i haved lived a rough life...and go thru bullshit....with kids...family....and i have learned to let go..and walk away....as life passes us...im trying to get thru to him...and he made me cry...its ok....a friend is til the end....let it happen....love u be...lets get crazy....lets get nuts.....dont worry..be happy....smile...somebody loves you....ME..........IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING.....OFF.................................................<3

Sunday, August 14, 2011

would like comments on my blogs

PEOPLE...I CAN HANDLE IT.. HAVE YOU.....to any readers out there..hittin my links...this bitch is rollin....aka sweets..im out

so i expressed my recent blog

below...i wrote a six page letter to jaz...whatever happens...happens..but..its on her..i hope she can prove me wrong...but im glad...i said what i said and gave her an outlet...if she cant do it..let me take care of them...and she can do her own thing...she really isnt cut out to take care of them...but its ok....

my last attempt to my daughter......

JAZ….


HERE ARE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES FOR THE BABIES…AND THERE SOCIAL SECTURITYS CARDS…



NOW…A FEW THINGS I NEED TO SAY FOR THE LAST TIME…THOSE TWO WKS OF CHAOS WAS ENOUGH…I LISTEN… I WAS HAPPY TO HAVE MY GRANDGIRLS AND WAS SO IMPRESS WITH MACKERS… THIS LAST YEAR WHERE I JUST STOPPED COMMUNICATION AND CUT ALL TIES… WAS A GOOD THING…ONE..MS.BEVERELY SUGGESTED THAT…SO I DID…LITERALLY STEPPED DOWN…MY STRESS FACTOR IS GONE…I HAD RESPONSABILTYS TO GUNTHER AND WILLIE…I WASN’T TAKING CARE OF THEM LIKE IT WAS..BEFORE THE GRANDS..I HAVE FOUCS ON GUNNY AND HE HAS SHINED HIS FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL…NO ESE AT THE MOMENT AND THAT IS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW..HE HAS A DREAM AND I WILL STAND BEHIND HIM TIL HE WALKS ACROSS THAT STAGE…AND I WANT TO SEE THAT…I FELT I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY SON AND WILL WILL BECAUSE I WAS TENDING TO YOU…MOST OF ALL I SHOULD OF STOPPED TENDING TO YOU WHEN U TURN 18..MAYBE THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER OUTLOOK BETWEEN YOU AND ME..

I HAVE BENT OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU…I WAS THERE FOR YOU..I WAS THERE FOR THE GRANDS FROM DAY ONE…I LET YOU DESTORY MY APARTMENTS I GAVE YOU A CUSHION.. I GAVE U A HOME.. FOR YOU AND THE BABIES…BUT…I LET YOU..YELL AND CUSS ME..I LET YOU DISRESPECT ME AND MY HOME…I MUST BE THE MOST GULLABLE MOTHER OF ALL TIMES…I DIDN’T LET YOU FALL FLAT ON YOUR ASS…I KEPT TAKING U IN…CUZ U KNOW HOW TO MANIULATE ME..I LOVE U MOMMY…AND I FELL FOR IT…SO IF I KICKED YOU OUT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE U FALL…NOT FAIL…BUT FALL…I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING..INCLUDING RESPECT…YOU TOOK YOUR LIFE AT 13 AND STARTED RUNNING AND U BEEN RUNNING SINCE…YOU ARE STUCK IN THIS ALL ABOUT ME GENERATION…AND IT ANIT ABOUT YOU…YOU HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN(ITS ALL ABOUT THEM).. AND U HAVENT SHOWED THEM ANY STABLE ENIVORMENT YET…U NEVERED FINISHED SCHOOL…U DON’T HAVE A JOB…YOU DON’T HAVE A HOME FOR THEM..U DON’T HAVE MONEY..YOU DON’T HAVE A CAR…THESE ARE THINGS THAT U NEED TO HAVE…TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY…U MADE THAT DESCION WHEN U STARTED RUNNING AT 13..YOU MAY BE BLAMING ME FOR THAT…BUT U CANT…U RAN…I LET GO…I LET YOU COME IN ANT OUT OF MY LIFE…GIVING ME HAVIC….BECUZ I WAS A MOM..I FOLLOW ALONG WITH YOUR BULLSHIT…AND NOW U CANT HANDLE IT..CUZ IVE WALKED AWAY…FOR A WHOLE YEAR(AND U THINK BECUZ THAT HURTS YOU…NO..U HAVE HURTED ME) AND THAT TO ME IS A GOOD THING…I WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO YOUR BULL SHIT AND HOW U WANT TO RUNS THINGS…YOU ANIT IN CONTROL(YES IM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND WHO IS AROUND ME BUT I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU THAT I GUESS U DIDN’T GET THE MEMO)…. YOU ARE FLYING BY THE SEAT OF YOU PANTS WITH LIFE…THAT EVERYONE OWES YOU….



YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE GETTHO LIFE…KEEP ON..BUT YOUR CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING…THEY ARE NOT IN AN STABLE ENIRVOMENT…THEY BEEN IN FOSTERCARE…AND NOW A SHELTER…YOU BEEN THERE A WHOLE YEAR…AND WHAT I SEE…YOU THE SAME OLE JAZ…YOU HAVENT CHANGED…I WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING TO GET MY KIDS BACK..I WOULD OF TAKING ANYTHING TO TAKE THE PARENTING CLASSES THE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES…FROM DAY ONE WHEN THEY TOOK THE KIDS AND PUT THEM INTO FOSTERCARE…I WOULD OF BITCH SCREAM AND FOUGHT MY WAY TO GET MY KIDS OUT OF THE SYSTEM…THE MOMENT THEY WERE TAKEN…ITS 2011..I WOULD OF DONE ALL THINGS THAT THE COURT ASKED OF ME…AND WOULD OF DONE MORE OF WHAT THEY DIDN’T ASK OF YOU TO DO..TO GET THE KIDS BACK….THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A STURCTURE PLAN FOR YOU TO DO…A MOM WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING…



I SPENT MONEY FOR A LAWYER THAT DID NOTHING…I WOULD OF FOUGHT SO HARD…AND (YOU) SHOULD OF DEMANDED TO THE COURT AND THE STATE..FOR THEM TO BE WITH ME….YOU WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING FOR YOUR KIDS…BUT YOU LET IT GO…AND U HAD TO FOLLOW THERE RULES…BUT..U LIVE AND LEARN…THAT’S ON U…NOW U ALMOST HAVE THE KIDS…SO THE STATE WILL CLOSE THE CASE EVENTUALLY SO…GET IT DONE…AND GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE(DCF)…YOU OWE THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN…



I DIDN’T HAVE MY CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY…I TOOK AND TAKE CARED OF MY RESPONSABILITYS…AND I DID THAT FOR YOU TIL YOU WERE 29..NOW I WALKED AWAY AFTER TWO WKS…WHAT U CANT HANDLE IT…



NOW…I NEED TO SAY THIS ONE THING….I HAVE COME TO A CONSULION OF THIS…NOW IN MY LIFE…WHERE I CAN HANDLE THIS…WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY…….

ONE…GET YOUR KIDS BACK…(I STAYED OUT OF THIS FOR A REASON,FOR YOU TO GET THEM BACK)…(PLUS I THINK THAT U WOULD OF FIGURE THIS OUT WHY I STEPPED BACK FOR ALL THIS)...AT ANYTIME…AFTER THEY ARE OFFICALLY BACK WITH YOU 100%....



I CAN UNDERSTAND AND CAN ACCEPT THAT IF U CANT HANDLE BEING A MOM FOR ANY REASON…ITS OK…ITS OK FOR YOU TO DO WHAT U WANT TO DO..LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO…I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU.. I CAN LET IT GO….BUT IF YOU NEED ME TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS I WILL DO THAT…GIVE THEM A LIFE THAT IS STABLED…GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO ERASE WHAT AS BEEN DONE…AND GET THEM THRU THIS WITH CARING AND UNDERSTANDING SO THEY CAN BE SOMEBODY SOME DAY…ITS OK…FOR MY MOTHER TO LEAVE ME…OR A SISTER WHO LET ONE OF HERE KIDS GO..FOR ANOTHER SISTER TO WALK AWAY HER KIDS…ITS OK…I UNDERSTAND WHY MY SISTERS DID THAT.. BUT AS FOR MY OWN.. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY MOTHER WHY SHE WALKED AWAY FROM ME…I OVERCAME AND WENT BEYOND MY LIFE TO GET WHERE I AM TODAY…I HAVE FOUGHT FOR THIS LIFE…TO BE WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM…A STRONG OVER POWERING CONTROLLED MOTHER AND OR WOMAN…BE CUZ I DO AND GET WHAT I WANT…BY GOING AFTER IT…YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN…MORE STRONGER THAN ME..WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING YOUR OWN RULES AND LIVING THEM..YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK…I DON’T GIVE A FUCK..BUT I TEND TO HAVE THAT STUPID ASS RESOPNABILITY FACTOR IN MY ASS AT 200% MEANING I DO WHATS RIGHT I GUESS AS I LIVE LIFE…I MAY BITCH AND MOAN ..YOU KNOW I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…YOU ARE THERE MOTHER…BUT U CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE ON YOUR TERMS…JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF THEM..AND U DO YOUR THING…ITS OK JAZ…I UNDERSTAND…I GIVIN YOU AN OUTLET TO DO WHAT YOU WANT…BUT…I HOPE YOU CAN OVERCOME ALL THIS…AND PROVE ME WRONG…ANY THIS DOESN’T WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…ITS FUNNY THERE ARE DIFFERENT RULES WHEN YOU BECOME A GRANDPARENT…I THINK YOU MATURE ENOUGH AND GET A SECOND CHANCE TO RAISE KIDS DIFFERENT..BUT WITH ALL THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN OR BEEN DONE TO…I HOPE I DID OVERCOME MY UPBRINGING BETTER THAN IT WAS DONE UPON ME.. I KNOW I DID A BETTER JOB…I ALSO DID THE BEST I DID WITH MY KIDS…THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOME ISSUES…BUT YOU LIVE AND LEARN.. AND I KNOW I DID THAT…I HAVE CHANGE WITH THE TIMES…AND STILL LEARNING AS I GO…YOU CAN DO THAT TO…



RIGHT NOW IM SETTING MY BOUNDRIES WITH YOU…I WILLING TO SIT BACK…I HOPE I CAN SEE THE GRANDS…BUT ON YOUR TERMS…BE ADULT ABOUT IT…I CAN SEE THEM ONCE A MONTH FOR A VISIT OR TALKING ON THE PHONE IS OK..BE WOMAN ABOUT IT AND TELL YOUR KIDS ITS OK…WHY U AND I DON’T SEE THE SAME PAGE…WE HAVE DIFFERENCES AND OUTLOOKS…AND ITS OK….



I LOVE U…AND IM HAPPY THAT THEY ARE BACK WITH YOU…DO WHATEVER IT TAKES…AND BE STRONG…I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK THAT I SAID WHAT I SAID IN THIS LETTER…BUT..I WANTED YOU TO KNOW ..WHAT IM FEELING…LOVE U JAZ..ALWALYS..MOMS….
sorry but i posted this for a reason....

lovin it............

telling our deepest secrets of life...and experiences...was a good convo....enjoying my chats with be....sitting here watching big brother on dvr on big brother after dark...for the next three hours...been doing that all summer...thank god i have showtime....days away...for school to start....waiting on that alone...get that boy up out of my house for school...since he has problems gettin up outta bed....gunny butt...get your ass up out of bed...school is in session..love moms........lol...........anyhoo...im out for a minute...aka sweets..

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