REALLY..........

WELL..............I SIT HERE AND WONDER WHY...DO I KEEP GETTING UPSET....OVER THE LITTLEST THING WHEN IT COMES TO MY HUSBAND......

THE MARBLES ARE NOT THERE AT TIMES...AND 17 YEARS AGO...I TOOK THIS CHALLENGE AND ACCEPTED OF WHO MY HUSBAND WAS...I KNOW HE HAD SOME TYPE OF MENTAL CHALLENGE LIKE ADULT ADD OR..SOMETHING....HE HAS BEEN A HARD WORKING MAN...HIS WHOLE LIFE...THATS A GOOD THING....AT ONE TIME WHILE HE WAS AT THE LEDGER...I GOT MY HUBBY TESTED ABOUT HIS MENTAL ABILITIES..AND BASICALLY HE ANIT GOOD IN MATH.. CAN READ AND PROCESS...BUT HE OVERCOMES HIS CAPABILITY'S..THRU HIS WORK ETHICS..

THRU THE YEARS....MANY A TIME..I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM...AND GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND...WHERE I BREAK IT DOWN FOR HIM ...THIS COULD BE HIS JOB...HOME..LIFE IN GENERAL....ALL ALONG IM BEEN DOING THIS ....GIVING HIM HINTS...TO HELP HIM ALONG...BUT...IM GETTIN TIRED OF IT.....

A FEW OF OUR FRIENDS...KNOW AND ACCEPT MY HUBBY FOR WHO HE IS...A HARD WORKING MAN...CAN BE FUNNY AT TIMES..CAN BE RUDE...CAN COME THRU FOR YA... AND SOMETIMES...SAYS THE SMARTEST THING THAT MAKES SENSE.... THATS WHEN I SEE HIS GOOD MARBLES....

BUT...LATELY....I MEAN YEARS...THE LITTLE THINGS ARE BOTHERING ME....LIKE...OK...HE EATS MAYO....NOW BROWN SUGAR IN TEA....OR WASTING MY COPY PAPER FOR MY PRINTER....OR EAT ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME(cuz i cant keep food in this house...) AND I STILL HAVE A GROWING BOY TO ATTEND TOO......SOMETIMES..I JUST DONT BUT FOOD CUZ SOMETIMES I HAVE TO HIDE IT....REALLY..........

HE MY HUBBY IS A GOOD MAN...NEVERED DID DRUGS...NEVER BEEN ARRESTED...HE PUTS ME ON THIS PEDESTAL...TELLS EVERYBODY WHO SWEETS IS...HIS SWEETIE......WE HAVE THIS WEIRD KIND OF RELATIONSHIP....WHEN WE ARE ALONE...I SEE THE WILLIE I FEEL IN LOVE WITH...WE CAN JOKE...BITCH...LAUGH...I GET ON HIS NERVES...(in his mind...he thinks...WHAT DOES SWEETIE WANT NOW...)..HE LETS ME CONTROL EVERYTHING...I LOVE CONTROL...LOL...THATS MY ADDICTION....LOL........ANYWHO...I TAKE CARE OF ALL THE THINGS IN LIFE...BILLS...DECISIONS...THINGS WE NEED...AND DONT NEED...OR..I LOVE IT..WE BE FOOD SHOPPING AND THE MAN......SLIPS..SOMETHING IN THE CART...AND IF I DONT PAY ATTENTION...I SAY WE DONT NEED THAT...SAME THING AT WALLY WORLD...IM QUICK TO SAY WE DONT NEED THAT OR I HAVE NO MONEY FOR THAT....

SO...IM GETTIN UPSET FOR NOTHING...REALLY...I JUST GETTIN TIRED....I KNOW THIS IS WHO WE ARE....BUT IT GETS OLD....I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART...I JUST FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CARE OF A BIG KID...AT TIMES....BUT THE PRIVATE WILLIE IS THE ONE IM IN LOVE WITH...THE ONE THAT MAKES IT ALL GO AWAY....AND I SLIP INTO HIS WORLD...OF US....

BUT HE LETS ME BE WHO I AM...THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN....AND I ACCEPT HIM...INCLUDING HIS LOVE OF ART...WHICH SOMETIMES HE PUTS FIRST BEFORE THE WIFE...LOL....BUT IT WORKS....SOMEHOW...SOMEWAY..............LOVE U BITCH....WILL WILL AGEE....

in less than a wk........

i just map out my journey from... fl...to chicago...this will be the second time im driving home but this time im driving alone on the way up...but driving down with my friend to the end....

i hope i dont get lost in the process..having a hard time looking for starbucks on the way up there....i need to have someway to charge the laptop and cell for a minute while im driving up.....i research on starbucks.com...but i just cant seem to figure it out...so....i figure it out...

going to visit my grandma chilvers grave...which is a good thing...this will be my third trip....to her grave since she passed in 99......i have the car packed as of a wk ago....getting a room at super 8 in bolingbrook....and do some type of errands while im up there...like white castle....protillos....hit the memories of home...taking pics of my trip going up and coming back down to SUNNY FLA.............

going to celebrate turkey day when i get back to fl.........looking at friday...cooking the bird the minute i walkin in the door....gunny going to help his daddy during the week at harrys...

i hope i see at least some snow......make it happen il................LOL...................im out...later.......sweets