2011

MANY REFLECTIONS OF 2011 WILL OCCUR....HERE I GO..............


.by Bonnie Notafraid Agee on Saturday, February 26, 2011 at 10:45am.1.IM GAMBLING MY LIFE AS WE SPEAK.....PUT ON THE BACK BURNER....IM NOT TAKING CARE OF ME.....

2.WILLIE IS DOING GREAT HE IS ON HIS MEDS HAS HAD HIS CKUPS AND HE DOING....I MAKE SURE OF IT

3.GUNNY IS STRONG AS AN OX..TAKING NO MEDS FOR ADHD SINCE STARTING HIGH SCHOOL 8/2010....

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK........NO HEALTH INSURANCE SINCE 2007....WE ARE SCREW BLUED AND TATOOED..GUNNY HAS STATE INSURANCE....TIL HIS 18 BIRTHDAY....



SO..2008 WE WENT TO A CLINIC...A GOOD ONE IN TOWN..GETTING OUR CARE DOWN...DOCTOR PUT ME ON AMIBEM...SO I COULD SLEEP... ASLO TAKING CLONIPIN FOR ANXITEY AND SERQUEL FOR BI/MANIC EPDISODES...SO WHEN I STARTED THAT I COULDNT SLEEP IN 08 BY 09 I WAS GETTING SOME SLEEP....OK...COOL....



WELL THERE WAS A MEDICAL MISHAP WITH WILLIE AT THIS CLINIC...AND GOING TO THE BIG CLINIC A PROFESSIONAL NURSE WAS VERY RUDE TO US...AS WILLIE WAS GETTING TREATED FOR PROSTRATE..TRYED TO GET IT TAKEN CARE OF..BUT WE LET GO...AND LET THAT CLINIC GO.....SO....



WE HAD TO GO TO THIS OTHER CLINIC BASED ON THE INCOME...LAST 3/2010...I GOT WILLIE TAKEN CARE OF THANK GOD NO CANCER ON PROSTRATE JUST ENLARGED....SO HE IS OK...TAKING HIS MEDS...FOR HIS MEDICAL PROBLEMS....







ME...I GO TO THIS SAME CLINIC SO A DIFFERENT DR...AND HE CHANGED ALL THE BP, CHOL AND DIAEBITES MEDS...AND FOR TWO WKS I FELT LIKE CRAP.....OMG.....SO I WENT BACK ON THE ORGINAL MEDS I WAS AND HAD BEEN FOR 3+ YEARS...WELL I CANT GET THE SLEEP/BI-MANIC/ANIXETY MEDS...HERE AT THIS CLINIC...WOW..SCREWED...................



SO I GO TO A OUT A POCKET DR AT 75 BUCKS A VISIT...TO GET THOSE MEDS...SERQUEL, AMIEBM AND CLONIPIN....NOW...WHEN I DO HAVE MONEY FOR THE DR AND OR SCRIPTS....I OVER LAPPED MY TIMES WITH THIS DR...SUPPOSE TO GO EVERY 90 DAYS....SO SOMETIMES DUED TO NO MONEY...HOW DO U HANDLE THIS......TO ME THE BEST WAY I CAN....NOW...HERE IS THE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK....HERE I GO...............................







BONNIE LOUISE...WHY DO YOU F EN PLAY WITH YOUR HEALTH....WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU..........WHEN I GET TO THE POINT IM RUNNING OUT OF THE MEDS...I TRY TO SELF MEDICATE MYSELF...I HAVE DONE THINGS...LIKE DOULBLE UP ON THE MEDS..CUS SINCE /10/2010 IM REALLY NOT SLEEPING AT ALL.........YOU KNOW WHEN U HAVE THE FEELING OF EMPTINESS..THE FEELING YOUR GOING TO KEAL OVER...WITH NO STREGHTH..AND THE LACK OF SLEEP...THE BODY SHAKES INSIDE....THE FEELING ICKY ...I FACT I KNOW SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN....I HAVE IT IN MY HEAD I WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK....OR STROKE........................NOW...HERE IS WHATS HAPPENING.... DAMN IT THE TEARS ARE ROLLIN............SO JAN...I GO IN TO GET MY SLEEP MEDS...AND STUFF....HE GIVE ME A SCRIPT FOR THE MED.....HALF MY SERQUEL...AND TOOK MY CLONIPIN AWAY...........WITH ALL THE OTHER MEDS IM ON FOR GENERAL STUFF...HE TELLS ME IM ON TO MUCH MEDICINE..........OMG WTF....................







SO WHATS BEEN HAPPENIN.............THE LAST TWO WKS...IVE BEEN FEELING LIKE SHIT..LIVE A FRICKEN TRUCK HAS RUN OVER MY ASS..........I HAVE THE AMIBEN..OK...BUT THE SCRIPT FOR SERQUEL WASNT WRITTEN WRITE AND ITS A WHOLE MONTH WITH OUT THAT MED...SO IM GOING THRU WITHDRAWLS...TO DATE..WITHDRAWLS FOR CLONIPIN AND SERQUEL....WOW............................I MIGHT BE GETTIN 2 HRS OF SLEEP ON THE AMIBEN....AND LIFE JUST PEACHY......SO..IM SUFFERING...THE FEELINGS OF SHAKINESS, LACK OF SLEEP THE IM GOING TO KEAL OVER....ANY SECOND............AND IF I DONT USE THESE MEDS AGAIN...WELL I JUST GUESS I WENT THRU WITHDRAWEL....I WENT THRU WITHDRAWELS IN2007/1/2008..AFTER LOSING INSURANCE.....



SO I KEEP FIGHITIN ON AND THRU THE NERVOUSINESS AND THE ANIXETY....THE BI/MANIC BS ON A DAILY



LIFE.....AND I DONT WANT TO BE LABEL...ANYMORE......







IM A FIGHTER...HAVE BEEN ALL MY LIFE..............I CAN GET PASS THIS...IVE DONE IT BEFORE.....BUT I THINK BACK....ALL I WANT IS TO SLEEP....THATS IT...I WAS TO GET A REFERRAL IN JAN..TO GO SEE A GYNO DOC.....FOR HORMONE THERAPY.....AND AGIAN..THE LACKING OF TIME MONEY AND AND THIS DOCTOR FORGETTIN MY REFERRALL...IM GOING TO DEMAND THAT I GET CARE.....OH HOW I MISS GOOD QUALITY CARE WHEN U DO HAVE INSURANCE....THIS CLINIC BULLSHIT IS FOR THE BIRDS...........THEY DONT GIVE A F**K.....WILL IT GET BETTER.....WILLIE AND GUNNY IS DOING OK....ITS TIME FOR ME...............TO GET MY ASS IN ORDER...........LIKE.....FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND JUST GET SOME SLEEP.....AND FORGET THE SERQUEL AND CLONIPIN...THIS LAST MONTH OF WITHDRAWLS...I DONT WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN....U DO WHAT U HAVE TO DO...U THINK SO OF THESE PEPS ON CONTROL SUBSTANCES GO THRU NATURAL WITHDRAWEL.....TO GET THAT POISION OUT OF YOU...IVE DONE THIS TWICE NOW...IM DONE....WHEN I BLOG...ON MY FIVE BLOGGS..ITS VERY THREAPUTIC FOR ME....TO LET IT GO..I DONT CARE WHO READS IT....ITS WHO I AM....SO IF I HAVE TO TALKE ABOUT MY LIFE ON A BLOG...WRITE LOVE LETTERS TO THE GRANDBABIES.TO GET THRU THIS...AND WRITING ON MY DAUGHTERS LIFE AND THE BULLSHIT SHE PUT ME THRU...AND THE 2 MOTHERS I HAD AND A DRUNK FATH..ER....AND MY NEWEST BLOG...IT TAKES THREE TO BE A FAMILY ITS THE MAGIC NUMBER...U DAMN RIGHT....MY RELEASE....MY RIGHT TO SAY WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO SAY........LETS SEE...2 MONTHS OF 2011...10 TO GO..............



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BE..............

I JUST LOVE IT WHEN HE CALLS ME....TWO TIMES IN ONE WEEK............WOW.........................LFR.......................