im tryin.............so hard......

not to fall apart....i been delaying my bloggin for a second....i see my therapist on wednesday....tryin to hang on til then...we have our xmas program at church 2morrow....and im out as soon as my puppets are done...i cant listen to xmas music..wondering about my grandbabies...i got thru the xmases at least 5yrs ago...a friend named kelly got me thru it....i hated xmas...dang 40 f/en yrs this yr ....when she left...bitch...so basically im there again becuz my grandbabies are not with me....what im i going to do....i told willie im keeping the tree up til they come back home...i dont care if that sounds crazy.....but its melly mac first xmas and he anit home....omg....tears are rolling down now....i got to stop...for a second...bon aka sweets