SWEET LOVE ON HER WEDDING DAY....

SWEET CAROLINE ....A FRIEND ... A CHILD OF SWEET LOVE..IF I HAD ONE WISH...IS TO HAVE A DAUGHTER OF LOVE...AND THIS IS MY GIRL...MY SWEET CAROLINE....

MR. MRS. ALVIN MENDEZ JR...I LOVE U GUYS....TAKE CARE OF MY BABY ALVIN...AS ALWAYS...LOVE MS.BONNIE

TODAY...I SAW MY SWEET CAROLINE...GET MARRIED....I TOTALLY LOST IT...WHEN I SAW HER WALK DOWN TO MEET HER HUSBAND ALVIN MENDEZ JR..I WILL CHERISH THIS DAY...THE SUMMER WEDDING OF THE YEAR....(something my own daughter will never do for me).. THIS LOVELY CHILD MENTORED MY SON GUNTHER....FOR 4YRS..2004/2008..AND WE BECAME FRIENDS FOR LIFE FOREVER.....CAROLINE KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER.....IF I EVER HAD A DAUGHTER...SHE WOULD BE THE ONE...THIS SWEET BABY..GOES OUT OF HER WAY FOR ME....AT TIMES...WHEN IM HAVING A DIFFICULT DAY WHEN IT COMES TO MY OWN DAUGHTER...THAT IS LOVE..THAT IS RESPECT....I ADORE U...SWEET CAROLINE...ALWAYS...U WERE SO BEAUTIFUL...SWEET BABY....LOVE U....

HOPING...NOT TO HAVE

ANOTHER NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.....RUMOR HAS IT...THE DAUGHTER HAD ONE A COUPLE OF WKS AGO................WILL SHE LEARN FROM THIS...I HOPE...BUT...NOT CONVINCED OF IT...................

I HAVE OVER COME ALOT....BUT...IM TIRED...BEING BI POPAR SUCKS...AND I WAS ONLY ON MEDS FOR 5YRS....THE LAST 5....I BEEN DEALING WITH BULLSHIT....AND TRYING TO GET TO A POINT...THAT AS LONG AS U DONT PISSED ME OFF...IM OK...BUT FUCK WITH ME....AND I WILL RAISED HELL IN MY OWN WAY....WHICH MOSTLY IS YELLING....AND CUSSING OVER THE PHONE WITH DUMB ASS PEPS AND FAMILY.....MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE NOTE OF WHAT MY TWO ADULT CHILDREN HAVE DONE IN THERE LIVES...BREAK THE LAW...GET FUCKED UP...DO DRUGS...GO TO JAIL..LIVE OFF OF PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING THEM ANYTHING.......

WHO WITH ME...ON THIS NEW CONCEPT.................................

WHY IN HELL....DO I LET OTHERS FUCK WITH ME...

I DEAL WITH ALOT OF BULLSHIT...FROM..EVERYDAY PEOPLE...AND MY TWO ADULT CHILDREN...IM SO FUCKEN DONE WITH PEOPLE....INCLUDING FAMILY... I JUST CANT...STAND... THAT THESE TWO ADULT CHILDREN....THAT I RAISED...WHICH I THOUGHT I DID...I GUESS I DIDNT....I COME FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY...THAT FUCKED MY LIFE UP....AND I PASSED IT ON TO MY TWO ADULT CHILDREN......

U THINK................

I KNOW I WAS A SINGLE PARENT WITH THESE TWO...AND I HAD TO LIVE IN THE PROJECTS....BUT SOMEHOW ...SOMETHING WENT WRONG....I SHELTERED THEM..AND BY THE AGE OF 13 MY DAUGHTER START RUNNING THE STREETS...THAT WAS THE NORM....FOR MY DAUGHTER....AS I GET THE DISRESPECT FROM THIS CHILD AND SHE IS ALMOST 31 YRS OLD NOW...SHE STILL RUNNING...AND FUCKING UP HER LIFE...AND MY GRANDCHILDREN...... NOW MY 24 YR OLD SON....IS MAKING ME GET INTO THE MIDDLE OF HIS BULLSHIT LIFE....BECUZ SINCE THE AGE OF 13 HE WAS BEEN IN KIDDIE JAIL...AND PRISON.....

WELL WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER RUNS THE STREETS AT 13 AND THEN HITS YOU...(MOM) I PRESSED CHARGES ON HER AT 16 ON HER....SHE BECOMES A STRIPPER... SHE DRINKS...SHE DOES DRUGS...AND SHE HAS THREE KIDS....(MY GRANDCHILDREN...) AND HAS NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT...CUZ SHE RUNNING....SO TWICE IN LIFE I HAVE PRESSED CHARGES ON HER FOR HITTING ME....OK.....SO THEY BROKE THE LAW....I LIVED MY LIFE WITHOUT BREAKING THE LAW...HAD MORALS...THAT I THOUGHT I DID FOR THESE TWO ADULT CHILDREN....BUT...SOMEHOW...THEY..KEEP FUCKING UP...AND RUNNING....DOING HAVIC SHIT WHERE EVER THEY GO....

MY SON...WHO HAS BEEN LOCKED UP MOST OF HIS LIFE FROM 13/24 YRS OF AGE....WELL HE REALLY BROKE THE LAW.....SEXUALLY ABUSING HIS BROTHER..MY LAST CHILD MY BABY....WHEN HE WAS 3/4 YRS OF AGE....AND TOUCHING 3 OTHERS AND DID A SEX OFFENDER PROGRAM AS A 13YR OLD CHILD...HE WAS LUCKY HE WAS NOT CHARGED AS AN ADULT...BUT...SIGNING CKS AND FORGING YOUR STEP FATHER AND MOM CKING ACCT YOU ARE SENT TO PRISON FOR 6 YS AND 5YRS PROBATION WHICH U STILL HAVE TO COMPLETE.....

SO MY CHILDREN BROKE THE LAW...AND I TOLD ON THEM....I MUST BE A DUMB ASS PARENT....I FUCKED THERE LIFES UP......SO...AS LONG AS THIS KEEPS GOING FOR ALL THE BAD STUFF THEY DID....I GET MADE OUT OF A USELESS MOTHER....THAT DIDNT RAISED THERE KIDS RIGHT.......

FOR ALL THE BAD STUFF THEY DID AND WILL KEEP DOING.....IN THERE LIFES....IM DONE....I DONT CARE IF I LET GO OF THEM...AND DIS OWN THEM AS NOT BEING PRESENT IN MY LIFE.......CUZ I GUESS I FAILED THEM...AND I DIDNT DO ANYTHING RIGHT...SO...WHATEVER....

MY 17 YR OLD SON...I RAISED THE SAME WAY...AND PUT THE FEAR OF GOD ON HIM....AND HE TIL THIS DAY...HASNT DONE ANYTHING WRONG...IS A GOOD KID...AND FOCUS ON HIM...AND STOP THE SEX ABUSE THAT MY MIDDLE CHILD DID TO HIM...ALL THOSE YEARS BACK...IS THE CHILD THAT ADORES ME...KNOW MATTER HOW....AND WHAT I MAY DO OR SAY...SINCE HE IS THE CHILD...THAT CAME OUT.. OK...SINCE THE OTHER 2 KIDS...SEEM TO ME..THAT I FUCKED THERE LIFE UP..... BECUZ....I WAS TO OVER LOOKED WHAT THEY DID....WHAT THEY DID WRONG...THE MISTAKES THEY MADE.........I WAS TO BE ONE OF THOSE PARENTS....THAT LET THEM RUN AMUCK...

I JUST WANT ALL THIS TO STOP......I JUST WANT MY 17 YR OLD SON AND MY HUSBAND....A FAMILY OF THREE......TO BE LIKE IT USED TO BE...JUST US 3....WHEN WILL I LET THIS STUFF STOP........................

Who's Lovin You - Jackson 5

THE MERMAID GIRLS

MY GRANDDAUGHTERS...PASSION...AKA LAYLAY MAMA...SHE HAS ONE MORE TOOTH TO COME IN.... KEOSHA..AKA ...KEKE MONSTERS...HAS HER TWO FRONT TEETH..AND THERE TWO CUZ'S........I MISS YOU MERMAIDS GIRLS...GRANNY LOVES YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER... KISS KISS...XOXOXOXO