BE......................

LOVE IT...........................................ALWAYS................................BE+/=):):):):):):):):):):)

ME............

WELL..........IM BLOGGIN......GETTIN THE THINGS OFF MY MIND.....LETTIN IT RIPPED.....SO....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK..........AND HIT THE BLOGS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY PAGE TO READ ALL...5 IN ALL..........................

chillin............

or tryin to...........well......i didnt get any sleep...i let 48hours go by me....and i wonder why..... i keep putting  myself thru this....i went to gnc.....got some herbal nighty time tea.....you know chamomile type......taste awful...but im pushin...it calms me...gets me sleepy..but it well....it helps to calm me....and then i got this tablet for sleep....put under the tongue to dissolved and then swallow it....well....i trying to get that in my system...but i noticed....something.....when i went to the doctor in march..she gave me trazadone....for sleep....that was kickin me bad..making the blood pressure go up..150mg....so i did that for 2 days and stop...cuz..i couldnt take that...i would of went to the hospital which i didnt...so...a month has gone by....yesterday...last night....well....i halved all the trazadone...to 75mg....i took that ...along with melatonin and the bendayral..........for some reason when i take all this..it makes me sleep...and when i had the ambien...i did this combo also...so im at no ambien right now...and i get 2/4 hours of sleep...so i take what i can get at this point...knowing im taking my regular everyday meds...and doing natural combo/sleep at night...i guess its better then a control substance...since i went thru withdrawl....but my body knows when i dont get that sleep...i anit resting my body and soul...and i feel it ...and i dont  like that feeling...but im dealin with it..........so... i did start taking b12 yesterday..too...hoping that i feel better in a week or so....

i just dont like this situation.......when u have insurance u get good care...when u dont...they dont give a damn....they give shitty care....so....i went thru this in my early days....with shitty care......and im coming full circle and to do that route again...OMG....all i can say....lets go..OBAMA....get this country started...i need a frickin job with benefits....im really tired right now...cuzs there are no jobs out there.....living this way for the last 3 1/2 years is bullsh*t.........man.............and we had to live on willies 401k man......life really sucks.....but i know and i hope when this country gets back on track....i will have good care for me....and that damn husband of mine.....layin low now...for a minute...i havent done a status on fb for the last 5 days now....cuz i said  IM DONE...and im bloggin now..for a minute... just tryin to get thru all this....i was considering the dark side for a minute...thats on hold for a sec...........im out....aka sweets .............

well.............

ok...dark side..............lol.............

wow...im done..............

things are not going well at all............im to the point that" im done".......it really sucks when u live life.....comfortable....and it all changes...cuz the fuckin right wing ass wipes....destory your life......when u have things...you are treated differently.....when u dont have those things ...u get treated like shit......and these last 3/4 years....i dont know how much more i can take.........and all other things that i have been thru....i should be dead.............all i want to do is have a restful night of sleep.....and now i will to go that next level......im so pissed and upset right now ...i dont know what to do..............

she wrote a letter to her brother......

jaz wrote a letter to her bro...ernesto...he calls me....reads it to me....i just sat in silence....basically im out.......of there lifes....ok.................but i did give ernesto a choice about the whole situation....up to him.....she gave him some pics of the kids...and he wanted me to have them...i said no....the hurt and pain of seeing the pics just might take me to another level....and im not for that....now i just got to figure out what im going to do about me....and fix me....take care of gunny butt...F the rest..................2morrow the gyno appointment and hormone therapy.............the sleep is getting out of hand now...

making plans

going to get the ball rolling....

IM SO TIRED..............

HE WALKED AWAY FROM ME TONIGHT WHEN I TOOK HIM TO WORK....LIKE HE WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE.....HE BROKE ME..........IM DONE.............I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE....I WANT SOMETHING NEW....NEW LIFE..NEW SURROUNDINGS..WILLING TO LEAVE IT ALL...TAKE MY CAR ...MY SON...MY CAT....DAMN IT TO HELL.....I CANT TAKE THIS PAIN FROM EVERYBODY SHITTIN ON ME.....THANKS....

WAKE UP BONNIE....DO WHAT U WANT....MAKE THE TIME.....