another fb rant

FOR MANY YEARS NOW...THE HEARTACHES AND STRUGGLES OF LIFE ARE REALLY HITTIN HARD NOW...AND IM TRYING SO HARD...NOT TO HAVE ANOTHER NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.....O.....M........G......LIFE REALLY SUCKS...THE LAST AND FIRST NERVOUS BREAKDOWN WAS 2002..WOW 10 YEARS HAVE PASSED.....
NEVERED THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL GRANDCHILDREN WHO I ADORE AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM...BUT I HAD TO LET GO.....2009 TO 12/19/2011(WERE ROUGH)....I WAS DONE WITH THE FOOLISHMENT WITH MY DAUGHTER....
MY HUBBY WILLIE...LOSING A JOB IN 2007 THAT HE PUT 25YRS OF HIS LIFE ...TO END UP CLEANING A BAR AND GRILL AND JUST GOT A FULLTIME JOB...AND HE IS LET GO...DURING THE PROBATION TIME OF THE 90 DAYS WITH NO REASON....TRYING TO GET THAT CLEANING JOB HE GAVE UP ALMOST 60 DAYS AGO....IT DONT LOOK GOOD...
MY SON ERNESTO COMING HOME...AND WILL ADVENTURE OUT TO LEAVING ME IN A MINUTE...FOR REASONS THAT ARE FOR THE GOOD FOR HIM....I CAN LET GO...BUT OUR REALATIONSHIP IS IN TACT AND THATS A GOOD THING...
I HAVE NOT TOLD GUNNY ABOUT HIS DADDY LOSING HIS JOB.... NOR DID I TELL GUNNY YET...MOMS HAS TO SELL THE CAR TO PAY BILLS........THIS REALLY SUCKS.......................................................HOPING WE WILL NOT BE HOMELESS SOONER THAN LATER......................BUT.....WE LET GO OF THE CAR...ITS ON EBAY GUYS....LOOKING TO SELL WITH TITLE................LOL...........REALLY
SO I SIT HERE TYPING AWAY MY DIRTY LAUNDRY OUT AS I DO.....DONT GO TO MY BLOG....I WILL EXPRESS MY MOUTH http://butterballbabyslike08.blogspot.com LOL.........................DAMN IT ALL TO ****...................

POSTED THIS ON FB LAST NIGHT

REALLY..........MY WILLIE...GOT FIRED...TODAY...THAT LASTED A MINUTE....WE SCREWED BLUED AND TATTOOED.........AND I MOST LIKELY HAVE TO SELL THE PAID OFF CAR...AND IN A COUPLE OF HOURS WE ARE SIGNING OUR LEAST FOR THE NEXT YEAR TO LIVE IN THE APARTMENT..............DAMN IT ALL TO HELL...................FUCKIN REPBULICANS....THANKS....REALLY MUCH FUCKIN THANKS...........

O...M...G...

WTF............................I JUST CANT STAND....THAT WE HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING THESE LAST YEARS DUE TO THIS BULL SHIT COUNTY THE  W PUT US IN....AND NOW I HAVE TO SELL MY CAR AND SCREW THE BILLS CUZ I DONT HAVE MONIES...TO PAY THEM....LET ALONE....THE LAST 5 YEARS...WHEN WE STRUGGLED...THEY WOULDNT LET US HAVE FOOD STAMPS...AND  A MIRCALE HAPPEN FEB 2012 THEY GIVE US SOME TIL JULY 2012 AND GET TO RE APPLY AGAIN....AND WE HAVE MEDICALLY NEEDY INSURANCE...WELL I JUST SIGN UP FOR SSI...THIS  WILL BE THE THREE TIME ASKING TO BE ON IT...I HAVE TWICE BEFORE GOTTEN ON SSI ........................AND I WILL SIGN UP FOR WILLIE...BECUZ...I KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT WILLIE HAS SOME TYPE OF MENTAL CAPITITY OF ADULT ADD AND WILLIE HAS WORKED HIS WHOLE LIFE...AND NOW ALMOST 60 YRS OF AGE...IM GOING TO ASK THAT SSI TESTS HIM...AND SEE IF HE CAN GET IT....SO THIS REALLY SUCKS DICK......................REALLY................SUCKS..................DICK...............


FUCK IT .....................SUCK IT.................LATER............

CHOICES AND CHANGES....IN STORED...

I WISH THERE WAS A ADULT...PARENT....PERSONAL MANUAL FOR LIFE...LATELY IVE BEEN CRYING LATELY....TO EASILY AND TO QIUCK...LIKE IM FALLING APART...AND THAT LIFE KEEPS HANDING ME BULLSHIT....AND I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START...LET ALONE FINISHED....

I WONDER IF I DID ANYTHING RIGHT...WITH MYSELF...MY CHILDREN...MY LIFE....AND WHO ARE AROUND ME...I HOPE...CHANGES....HAPPEN.... I HOPE CHOICES WILL BE PUT IN PLACES...AS I GO....

MY FAMILY TO ME IS IMPORTANT...BUT...I DO HAVE A HEART ACHE THAT REALLY HURTED ME....AND I DONT KNOW IF THAT WILL EVER BE FIXED...BUT I LET THAT GO....I HAVE ANOTHER THAT IM WILLING TO FIX AND HAVE A BETTER RELATIONSHIP......

MY HUBBY AND MY TWO SONS...ARE MY HEART AND SOUL....AND I WANT TO EXPAND MORE BUT I ALSO WANT TO TWEEK IT BETTER MORE FOR THE GOOD....I TRIED OF STRUGGLING..IM TIRED OF HURTING..IM TIRED OF CRYING...IM JUST PLAIN TRIED...AND I WANT LIFE TO BE A LITTLE EASIER FOR ME....I HOPE I SEE THAT...

MY ERNESTO......

MY 2ND OLDEST ....MY ERNESTO CRUZ III.................4/23/12 I PICKED UP MY SON FROM PRISON...AND JUST SPEND 48 HOURS W/OUT SLEEP...WE GOT HOME AT 3 AM...TO GET HOME AND REST FOR A MINUTE..AND HAD TO SEE THE PROBATION OFFICER BY 8:30 AM THAT MORNING AND THEN WENT TO THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE TO REGISTER...SO WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY....AND TODAY I TOOK HIM TO WINTERHAVEN TO SEE HIS GRANDPARENTS....WHO ARE VERY DEAR TO ME....AND ERNESTO IS THERE FIRST BORN GRANDSON/CHILD..............IM SO GLAD YOU ARE HOME MY BOY...MOMMY LOVES YOU...NEW CHANGES FOR US ARE IN STORE...LOVE U WITH ALL MY HEART ...ALWAYS AND FOREVER..NESTO..LOVE MOM.............