chillin............

or tryin to...........well......i didnt get any sleep...i let 48hours go by me....and i wonder why..... i keep putting  myself thru this....i went to gnc.....got some herbal nighty time tea.....you know chamomile type......taste awful...but im pushin...it calms me...gets me sleepy..but it well....it helps to calm me....and then i got this tablet for sleep....put under the tongue to dissolved and then swallow it....well....i trying to get that in my system...but i noticed....something.....when i went to the doctor in march..she gave me trazadone....for sleep....that was kickin me bad..making the blood pressure go up..150mg....so i did that for 2 days and stop...cuz..i couldnt take that...i would of went to the hospital which i didnt...so...a month has gone by....yesterday...last night....well....i halved all the trazadone...to 75mg....i took that ...along with melatonin and the bendayral..........for some reason when i take all this..it makes me sleep...and when i had the ambien...i did this combo also...so im at no ambien right now...and i get 2/4 hours of sleep...so i take what i can get at this point...knowing im taking my regular everyday meds...and doing natural combo/sleep at night...i guess its better then a control substance...since i went thru withdrawl....but my body knows when i dont get that sleep...i anit resting my body and soul...and i feel it ...and i dont  like that feeling...but im dealin with it..........so... i did start taking b12 yesterday..too...hoping that i feel better in a week or so....

i just dont like this situation.......when u have insurance u get good care...when u dont...they dont give a damn....they give shitty care....so....i went thru this in my early days....with shitty care......and im coming full circle and to do that route again...OMG....all i can say....lets go..OBAMA....get this country started...i need a frickin job with benefits....im really tired right now...cuzs there are no jobs out there.....living this way for the last 3 1/2 years is bullsh*t.........man.............and we had to live on willies 401k man......life really sucks.....but i know and i hope when this country gets back on track....i will have good care for me....and that damn husband of mine.....layin low now...for a minute...i havent done a status on fb for the last 5 days now....cuz i said  IM DONE...and im bloggin now..for a minute... just tryin to get thru all this....i was considering the dark side for a minute...thats on hold for a sec...........im out....aka sweets .............