misc..stuff

well im really love being a nanny.....since the girls are out for school....we done a few things...like....making homemade bird house....doing little arts and crafts thingys.....sometimes...the oldest girl will make her bed...the little one helps me in the bathroom....and i showed them how to mop the floors....but today...the little one who is four...just her and i we did cupcakes.....love it.....she did so good....we made them green/blue...sprinkled sprinkles in them....and going to frost them in a minute....pics up in min.....her older sister who is six is at sewing camp....during the morning hours...the baby....she is the sweetest boo boo in the world....yesterday i felt the first tooth coming...had to text her mommy...of the news......so im loving my nanny job....its the best...im glad i left the church program...the fax ness of  people are unreal....and waited and struggle for four months to find this nanny position....care.com...if  u looking for a nanny in your area....well im sweets and im out.....later.............

daydreaming...........

i could be..........laughing...talking bs about everything and anything....but i like it....i want it....im going after it...im going to get it............in time.........a cruise is in the making.....

again.....REALLY...................

PLEASE..........OK...SO IT STARTED WITH A PHONE VM...ON MY CELL..WK LATER SHE CALLED ME...I LISTENED...AND WASNT NEGATIVE...TWO DAYS LATER..SHE CALLS TELLS ME I CAN TAKE THE GIRLS EVERY WKEND...SO THATS HOW I TOOK THE GIRLS TO DAYTONA...WHEN I DROPPED THEM OFF I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...AND I LISTEN AGAIN...SHE ASKED ME TO GET THE GIRLS UNIFORM SHIRTS FOR THE GIRLS....AND BEADS FOR THERE HAIR...AND KEPT ASKING ME TO GO TO MICKEY DS FOR FOOD....AS I LEFT...SHE GOES MA..I MAKING A BACK UP PLAN...TO LEAVE...AS I WAS THERE..I TOLD HER...THAT ONE SHE COULD NEVER EVER LIVE WITH ME...AND DONT DISREPECT OR CUSS OR HIT ME....THE ONLY TWO RULES I GAVE HER....SO...

I WAS TO PICK UP THE GIRLS YESTERDAY.... SHE CALLS ME LIKE AT 4:15...(I SAID BE 6PM I WOULD GET THEM...) SO SHE TELLS ME...ONE EVERY OTHER WKEND WITH THE GIRLS(NO VISIT WITH MELLY.SHE WANTS TO BOND WITH HIM..I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT AND ACCEPT THAT)...SHE COULDNT COME ON SUNDAY TO VISIT WITH ME BECUZ...SHE TELLS ME..I HAVE TO GO TO LIGHTHOUSE AND HAVE A SAFETY MEETING WITH THEM...IN ORDER FOR HER TO HAVE HOME VISITS WITH ME...(HER AND MELLY) AND TELLS ME....THAT SHE JUST GAVE A PERM ON KEKE S HEAD AND STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR....SO..............

DUMB ASS HERE... ME......WENT RIGHT BACK TO DEFENSE MODE.....ONE....KNOWING JAZ...SHE MADE ME THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH AT LIGHTHOUSE....CUZ THEY KNOW ABOUT OUR CHAOS RELATIONSHIP...TWO..SHE IS INTERNING AND GETTIN ON THE JOB TRAINING...BUT...SHE MAKING NO MONEY...SO IF THEY TAKING CARE OF HER...AND THE KIDS...SO HOW DOES SHE GET DIAPERS FOR MELLY...AND KEKE GOT HER HAIR DONE...WELL SHE CAN GET UNIFORMS TOPS FOR THE GIRLS..AND WHAT EVER ELSE...I ANIT AND NOR IS IT MY RESPONDABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN..I BEEN THERE DONE THAT...WHY WOULD I BE SUBJECT TO A SAFETY MEETING....ON OUR RELATIONSHIP...FUCK THAT...IVE EARNED MY KEEP ON THIS EARTH...AND THAT...(SHE ) HASNT.....SO..I DIDNT PICK UP THE GIRLS..I MADE SOME EXCUSE ON THERE VM AT LIGHTHOUSE...SHE DIDNT GET THE MESSAGE...AND SHE TELLS ME ON MY VM..SO U HAVING A HISSY FIT...AND U WILL NOT SEE THE KIDS EVER AGAIN...SO..I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN...IM BACK AT MAKING THE CHOICE TO STEPP BACK..LIKE I BEEN DOING...AND THESE LAST TWO WKS OF CHAOS IS OVER....MY OPINION KEL...IS IF SHE IS SCHEMING AGAIN...THATS THE OLD JAZ....I KNEW SHE WOULD DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO GET THE KIDS BACK...AND WORK THE SYSTEM...BECUZ..SHE IS ITCHING TO GET BACK ON THE STREETS..FOR WHAT EVER.....AND INCLUDING...DRINKING AND DICK.......SO I WILL JUST SIT BACK...AND GOD FORBID MY KIDS GO BACK TO FOSTERCARE...I WANT THEM ...BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THEM BACK...LIKE I SAID ..AND WE ALL KNOW..THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN...

i had message a friend of mine....to express what didnt happen...and i didnt have the granddaughters this wkend....cuz....i feel i have let chaos happen these last 2wks...and its just the start...so...i back in my FUCK THAT SHIT....dont have time for her....her kids...her life...she will WILL FUCK IT UP.... and i will sit back and watch from the sidelines....but then again....i am a mommy.....and she may be 30yrs old...shit i will do a casey anthony on her ass and pled guilty and save tax payers money and go to big girl prison....lol... DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD....LOL WHATEVA......I WANT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER....NOT A MAMA TO HER...im cuttin the rope....done...nada...jack...and somebody and use that rope to hang my ass or hit me along side of the head....shit...JUST KICK MY ASS PLEASE................not falling for the 30yr old daughter.....shit she been running THE STREETS since 13...leave ME OUT OF IT....REALLY.........................SWEETS OUT..............

GOTTA GET BACK TO BLOGGIN...............

ADJUSTED SOME OF MY WEBSITE HERE ON BLOGGER....ADDED PICS AND SUCH....KEEPING UP WITH THE LOVE LETTERS TO THE GRANDBABIES....TRYING TO GET MY THREE THE MAJIC NUMBER BLOG GOING...BEEN NELGECTING THAT PAGE....AND TRYING TO KEEP UPDATES HERE ON BUTTERBALL BABYS PAGE...........THEY ARE ALL LINKED...SO HIT THEM UP....SWEETS...

RECENT HAPPENINGS...FOR ME......

SOMETIME BACK IN APRIL/2011 I GOT THREE BIRTHDAY CARDS FOR MELLY MAC..MY GRANDSON...HE WAS TURNING TWO....SO I MAILED THEM TO THE FOSTERCARE ATE THE WINTERHAVEN OFFICE.... WHEN CKING TO SEE IF THEY SEND THE CARDS TO HIM...THE LEAD CASE MGR...JUST HAPPEN TO BE ON VACATION....SO I CALLED AROUND THE LAST WK OF JUNE...TO THE CASE MGR....YES HE GOT THEM AND BY THE WAY...JASMINE HAS THE KIDS....WELL JULY 4TH HAPPEN...THAT WKEND BEFORE THE CELL WAS SCREWING UP...AND I HAD TO GO TO SPRINT AND GET IT CKED OUT....AND THE VOLUME WAS TURNED OFF....SO...THE GIRLS LEFTED ME A VOICEMAIL....I HAD TO HEAR IT A FEW TIMES...IT WAS WEIRD...I COULDNT MAKE OUT THE VOICES TIL I CALLED THE NUMBER AND IT WENT TO VM...AT LIGHTHOUSE MINISTIRES.....

A WEEK LATER....I GET A PHONE CALL FROM JAZ....SHE GOT MY NUMBER FROM THE LEAD CASE MGR,....I LISTEN...WAS POSITIVE WITH HER....AND SHE LET ME TALKED TO THE GIRLS...AND  MAILMAN....I GOT OFF WORK AT 6PM THAT DAY...I TOTALLY KEPT IT TOGETHER...TIL I GOT IN THE CAR...AND WAS A NERVOUS WRECK...AND MY STOMACH WAS CHURNING....I CALLED MY BBF BERYL...AND GOT THRU THE ORDEAL...SO I PROGRAM THE PHONE....SO I KNOW WHEN SHE CALLS...AND I CAN OPT OUT IF I DONT WANT TO TALK....SO...ANYWAYS...SHE CALLED TWO DAYS LATER...AND ASKED ME IF I COULD TAKE THE GIRLS THAT WKEND...AND I SAID I WAS GOING TO DAYTONA BEACH AND I SLIPPED AND SAID I JUST TAKE THE GIRLS WITH ME....

SO I HAD A GOOD TIME WITH THE GRANDDAUGHTERS...AND GUNNY AND T...AND MY BBF PAT.........WHEN I WAS GETTING READY TO DROPPED OFF THE GIRLS...I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...THE MAILMAN....HE LOOKED SO SHARP AND CUTE AND A GROWN LITTLE MAN....AND HE GAVE ME KISSES AND SMACK HIS MOUTH WITH THE SOUND EACH TIME HE GAVE ME A KISS....WHEN SAYING GOODBYE...THE GIRLS DIDNT WANT ME TO GO...AND KEKE WANTED TO COME HOME WITH ME....ITS OK....

I TOLD JAZ TWO THINGS...ONE YOU ANIT LIVING WITH ME EVER....AND DO NOT DISREPECST ME OR CUSS AT ME...AS I WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME WITH HER....BUT I WILL BE CAUTIOUS WITH HER....AND SET BOUNDRIES...WITH HER....I CANT FALL BACK INTO HER WITH HER CRAP...I DONT HAVE THE TIME...PATIENCE OR STRENGTH TO GO ON WITH HER...I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO...LIKE......STAND BEHIND GUNTHER...IS AUGUST 22ND HERE YET....FOR SCHOOL...LOL.........AND TAKE CARE OF WILLIE....

STILL DIETING....I VE SLIPPED  A FEW TIMES....IF I THINK ABOUT IT...AT LEAST 7DAYS...OUT OF 2MONTHS...SO THATS NOT BAD AT ALL....THE TRAZADONE FOR MY SLEEP WASNT WORKING THERE FOR A MINUTE....TAKING THE TRAZADONE WITH 3 LITTLE CUPS OF NYQUEL...AND IM SLEEPING REALLY SLEEPING...SO I WELL BETTER AND RESTED...HATE DO THAT...BUT I GOTS TO DO WHAT I GOTS TO DO.....NOW.......

BLUEEYES....IM IN LOVE WITH HIM...ALWASY HAVE BEEN...SO MAMA HERE IS HAVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ON THE PHONE WITH BLUEEYES...HE WAS THE ONE MAN OUT OF 6(BOYFRIENDS) BESIDES WILLIE...THAT DIDNT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME....I TOLD HIM THAT THE OTHER DAY....PLUS I HELPING HIM OUT FOR A MINUTE...I WOULD TELL U WHAT IT IS...BUT THIS IS BETWEEN BLUEEYES AND ME....BEING A FRIEND....I JUST WROTE HIM TWO LETTERS AND SEND HIM SOME STAMPS...SEE WHERE THIS TAKES ME....OR US......I CAN WAIT.....BUT HE MAKES ME SMILE WHEN WE SAY BYE ON THE PHONE...AND HE SAYS HE LOVES ME...THAT WILL DO...FOR NOW....I DO LOVE WILLIE...AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM.. AND HES MY HUBBY....BUT WE OPENED MINDED HERE..WILLIE LETS ME DO WHAT I WANT...WITHIN REASON...BUT IT DOESNT HURT TO HAVE A FRIEND....EVEN IF ITS A MAN...OR A OLD BOYFREIND...THAT I JUST HAPPEN TO LOVE...WAY BACK IN THE LATE 70'S.....AND WE SAW EACH OTHER IN 1988 AND THE NEXT TIME I SAW HIM WAS 2010...NOW I WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM......IM PROFESSING MY LOVE FOR HIM...

WELL IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING OFF

MOTLEY CRUE..7/6/11

THEY WERE SETTING UP....THIS GUY ASKED ME ABOUT POISON WHAT I THOUGHT..JUST AS I SAID IM WAITING FOR THE CRUE.... THE DAMN CURTAIN CAME DOWN...I STOOD STRAIGHT UP...SCREAMING ...AND THERE THEY WERE...MOTLEY FUCKIN CRUE....HOT DAMN...THAT DAMN VINCE NEIL...HE IS SO FUCKIN HOTT.....WOOHOO ANYWHO....HAD THE BEST TIME...AND WITH MY CRUEHEAD SON GUNNY BUTT....A MEMORY FOR LIFE...ITS ALL GOOD BITCHES....IM OUT..AKA...SWEETS....

POSION........7/6/11

THIS WAS AWESOME....THAT DAMN BRET FREE BALLIN MICHAELS....AND CECE....LOOKIN GOOD IN THEM LATE 40'S....SO HOTT....WOOHOO