RECENT HAPPENINGS...FOR ME......

SOMETIME BACK IN APRIL/2011 I GOT THREE BIRTHDAY CARDS FOR MELLY MAC..MY GRANDSON...HE WAS TURNING TWO....SO I MAILED THEM TO THE FOSTERCARE ATE THE WINTERHAVEN OFFICE.... WHEN CKING TO SEE IF THEY SEND THE CARDS TO HIM...THE LEAD CASE MGR...JUST HAPPEN TO BE ON VACATION....SO I CALLED AROUND THE LAST WK OF JUNE...TO THE CASE MGR....YES HE GOT THEM AND BY THE WAY...JASMINE HAS THE KIDS....WELL JULY 4TH HAPPEN...THAT WKEND BEFORE THE CELL WAS SCREWING UP...AND I HAD TO GO TO SPRINT AND GET IT CKED OUT....AND THE VOLUME WAS TURNED OFF....SO...THE GIRLS LEFTED ME A VOICEMAIL....I HAD TO HEAR IT A FEW TIMES...IT WAS WEIRD...I COULDNT MAKE OUT THE VOICES TIL I CALLED THE NUMBER AND IT WENT TO VM...AT LIGHTHOUSE MINISTIRES.....

A WEEK LATER....I GET A PHONE CALL FROM JAZ....SHE GOT MY NUMBER FROM THE LEAD CASE MGR,....I LISTEN...WAS POSITIVE WITH HER....AND SHE LET ME TALKED TO THE GIRLS...AND  MAILMAN....I GOT OFF WORK AT 6PM THAT DAY...I TOTALLY KEPT IT TOGETHER...TIL I GOT IN THE CAR...AND WAS A NERVOUS WRECK...AND MY STOMACH WAS CHURNING....I CALLED MY BBF BERYL...AND GOT THRU THE ORDEAL...SO I PROGRAM THE PHONE....SO I KNOW WHEN SHE CALLS...AND I CAN OPT OUT IF I DONT WANT TO TALK....SO...ANYWAYS...SHE CALLED TWO DAYS LATER...AND ASKED ME IF I COULD TAKE THE GIRLS THAT WKEND...AND I SAID I WAS GOING TO DAYTONA BEACH AND I SLIPPED AND SAID I JUST TAKE THE GIRLS WITH ME....

SO I HAD A GOOD TIME WITH THE GRANDDAUGHTERS...AND GUNNY AND T...AND MY BBF PAT.........WHEN I WAS GETTING READY TO DROPPED OFF THE GIRLS...I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...THE MAILMAN....HE LOOKED SO SHARP AND CUTE AND A GROWN LITTLE MAN....AND HE GAVE ME KISSES AND SMACK HIS MOUTH WITH THE SOUND EACH TIME HE GAVE ME A KISS....WHEN SAYING GOODBYE...THE GIRLS DIDNT WANT ME TO GO...AND KEKE WANTED TO COME HOME WITH ME....ITS OK....

I TOLD JAZ TWO THINGS...ONE YOU ANIT LIVING WITH ME EVER....AND DO NOT DISREPECST ME OR CUSS AT ME...AS I WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME WITH HER....BUT I WILL BE CAUTIOUS WITH HER....AND SET BOUNDRIES...WITH HER....I CANT FALL BACK INTO HER WITH HER CRAP...I DONT HAVE THE TIME...PATIENCE OR STRENGTH TO GO ON WITH HER...I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO...LIKE......STAND BEHIND GUNTHER...IS AUGUST 22ND HERE YET....FOR SCHOOL...LOL.........AND TAKE CARE OF WILLIE....

STILL DIETING....I VE SLIPPED  A FEW TIMES....IF I THINK ABOUT IT...AT LEAST 7DAYS...OUT OF 2MONTHS...SO THATS NOT BAD AT ALL....THE TRAZADONE FOR MY SLEEP WASNT WORKING THERE FOR A MINUTE....TAKING THE TRAZADONE WITH 3 LITTLE CUPS OF NYQUEL...AND IM SLEEPING REALLY SLEEPING...SO I WELL BETTER AND RESTED...HATE DO THAT...BUT I GOTS TO DO WHAT I GOTS TO DO.....NOW.......

BLUEEYES....IM IN LOVE WITH HIM...ALWASY HAVE BEEN...SO MAMA HERE IS HAVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ON THE PHONE WITH BLUEEYES...HE WAS THE ONE MAN OUT OF 6(BOYFRIENDS) BESIDES WILLIE...THAT DIDNT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME....I TOLD HIM THAT THE OTHER DAY....PLUS I HELPING HIM OUT FOR A MINUTE...I WOULD TELL U WHAT IT IS...BUT THIS IS BETWEEN BLUEEYES AND ME....BEING A FRIEND....I JUST WROTE HIM TWO LETTERS AND SEND HIM SOME STAMPS...SEE WHERE THIS TAKES ME....OR US......I CAN WAIT.....BUT HE MAKES ME SMILE WHEN WE SAY BYE ON THE PHONE...AND HE SAYS HE LOVES ME...THAT WILL DO...FOR NOW....I DO LOVE WILLIE...AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM.. AND HES MY HUBBY....BUT WE OPENED MINDED HERE..WILLIE LETS ME DO WHAT I WANT...WITHIN REASON...BUT IT DOESNT HURT TO HAVE A FRIEND....EVEN IF ITS A MAN...OR A OLD BOYFREIND...THAT I JUST HAPPEN TO LOVE...WAY BACK IN THE LATE 70'S.....AND WE SAW EACH OTHER IN 1988 AND THE NEXT TIME I SAW HIM WAS 2010...NOW I WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM......IM PROFESSING MY LOVE FOR HIM...

WELL IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING OFF

MOTLEY CRUE..7/6/11

THEY WERE SETTING UP....THIS GUY ASKED ME ABOUT POISON WHAT I THOUGHT..JUST AS I SAID IM WAITING FOR THE CRUE.... THE DAMN CURTAIN CAME DOWN...I STOOD STRAIGHT UP...SCREAMING ...AND THERE THEY WERE...MOTLEY FUCKIN CRUE....HOT DAMN...THAT DAMN VINCE NEIL...HE IS SO FUCKIN HOTT.....WOOHOO ANYWHO....HAD THE BEST TIME...AND WITH MY CRUEHEAD SON GUNNY BUTT....A MEMORY FOR LIFE...ITS ALL GOOD BITCHES....IM OUT..AKA...SWEETS....

POSION........7/6/11

THIS WAS AWESOME....THAT DAMN BRET FREE BALLIN MICHAELS....AND CECE....LOOKIN GOOD IN THEM LATE 40'S....SO HOTT....WOOHOO

ME.........MY LIFE ....

FROM THIS MAN...MY HUBBY...WILL WILL.....

WELL...I SIT HERE...THINKING...WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IN MY LIFE...ONE...IS..MY GUNTHER....MY BEAUTIFUL LOVE CHILD.....

I LEFT HOME AT 19/20....I HAD ENOUGH OF THE DYSFUNCTIONAL DALLNER FAMILY...AND I MOVED TO SUNNY LAKELAND FL....I TOOK THAT STEP...TO LEAVE...AND WHAT EVER HAPPEN...HAPPENED....THE JUDDS....IVE KNOWN THEM SINCE 1967...THEY WERE A FAMILY OF SIX...TOOK SOME KIDS IN...AND I WAS THERE LAST PERSON THEY TOOK IN...I MOVED IN WITH THEM...1980....I WORKED AT VARIOUS PLACES HERE IN LAKELAND ...AND MEET THIS STUPID REDNECK....AND AUG.6/81 I HAD MY DAUGHTER JAZ(BACK HOME AT HINSDALE IL)K...I GOT PREGOS IN LAKELAND....11/80..HAD A BAD CASE OF MONO...AND CAME HOME TO IL...MY FAMILY DIDNT PUT ME UP ANYWHERE...I WAS LIVING DOWNSTAIRS OF THE PAINT STORE MY FATHER WORKED AT WHICH WAS BEING RENTED TO SOMEONE BUSINESS BUT MY FATHER HAD AMPLE TO THE BASEMENT TO THE OLD STORE...SO...I LIVED THERE...WITH NO FOOD... I THINK THERE WAS A PHONE....SOMEHOW...I DID WORK AT BURGER KING... AND EMERSON AND DOLLY PUT ME UP AT THERE HOUSE IN LISLE IL....I REMEBER GOING OUT WITH MIKE...AT SOME DINNER BAR THERE ON OGDEN AVE...IN LISLE...WE WERE KINDA OF DATING...WHILE I WAS WORKING AT BURGER KING...I DID GO TO THE DOCTOR...IN HINSDALE...FOR MY PREGENCY...DR BUTCHER...LOL......(GREAT)....AND MIKE TAKING ME THERE...I REMEMBER ..TELLIN HIM..THAT WAS SO HARD TO DO...I REALLY LIKED MIKE...I FELT I BROKE HIS HEART...( WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT NOW)....SO I ENDED UP LIVING WITH MERITA...AND TWO WKS BEFORE HAVING THE BABY...I MOVED IN MY GRANDPARENTS APT....SEE...A YEAR EARLIER MY SISTER SUE WAS 18 AND THE DALLNER FAMILY..MADE HER GIVE UP HER BABY....THEY TRIED THAT ON ME...SHIT..I WAS 21..TOLD THEM HELL NO....AND THEY FINALLY TOOK ME IN....SO...OF COURSE THAT WAS THERE GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER....AND JAZ WAS BORN....NEEDLESS TO SAY...AT 6MONTHS I MOVED BACK TO FLA....FOR REASONS...I CAME BACK DOWN TO TAKE CARE AND HELP MRS. JUDD...AND THEY TOOK ME IN...BY THE TIME JAZ WAS 4 I GOT A JOB....AT ZARYES DEPARTMENT STORE ON S FLA AVE IN LAKELAND..(WHICH IS WALLY WORLD NOW..)...

1986...WHILE WORKING AT ZAYRES...I MEET ERNESTO CRUZ JR....I WAS A SKINNY BONNIE ...oh oh..oh...SO...HE WAS TALL DARK AND HANDSOME...100% PUERTORICIAN...AND I FELL FOR HIM....9/4/87 RIGHT ON THE DUED DATE...I HAD MY SON...ERNESTO CRUZ III....TOLD THE DALLNER FAMILY BACK HOME..I DIDNT CARE IF I HAD ANOTHER CHILD WITH/OUT A FATHER....I WAS GOING TO DO THIS ON MY OWN...MAN...THOSE GRANDPARENTS...OMG...TALKING ABOUT BEING RACISTS SOB'S...WHEN I WAS PREGO WITH NESTO....ME AND ERNIE WENT DOWN TO PAMPANO BEACH FL...AND I EMBARSSED THE HELL OUT OF THEM...CUZ I BRANG A COLORED MAN INTO A ALL WHITE PARK....OMG....GET OVER IT...SO I TOLD THEM TO FUCK OFF...THEY THOUGHT I WOULD SCREW UP JASMINE LIFE....WHATEVA....THEY ENDED ACCEPETING NESTO ...SHIT U THINK THEY WOULD EXCEPT GUNNY AND WILLIE....NOPE...FUCK THEM...THEY LONG GONE DEAD...ANYWHO..........
SO I TOOK CARE OF MY KIDS...WENT TO COLLEGE...AND IN 1994 MET MY FUTURE HUBBY...MY ONE AND ONLY HUBBY...YES I HAD 3 BABY DADDYS...WHO CARES...GET OVER IT....MY LIFE..MY RULES...NOT YOURS....MORE IN A MINUTE..............

18 day and still going.......

im into the 18th day of my diet.....ive been doing good....no coke for 20 days....and i still eating at least 3 meals a wk....alternating 6/12 jars of baby food a day....each weekend ive made my sweet mash potaotes....eating salads here and there...making them or gettin that berry chicken salad at wendys.....those are good....endless water... and lemon water...changing my lemons out of the pitcher weekly....having juice here and there.....3 cans a tuna during the week....and trying to chew gum for 5 minutes...on the july 1st going to start my wii workout....so im doing pretty good....this is a record....for me to be dieting....in the past i stop drinking the coke....but this is really ...a big change for me....im doing me...for once...that i gonna do...if it kills me....im having those hunger pains...but not like the first wk...im literally taking this to heart....so wish me luck......i go back to the dr in sept...i hope and need an improvement.....that i can drop this weight...im feeling good about myself..............im not there yet but i will get there....

DEDICATED....TO DET.BOBBY GORAN..AKA VINNIE BABY....

IM A BIG BOY..AND IM A GROWN MAN...2WKS AGO ON CI W/THE THERAPIST....U SURE ARE...BOBBY GOREN...

TONIGHT IS THE LAST CRIMINAL INTENT....WHY WHY WHY......I HAVE FOLLOW VINCENT FOR A LONG TIME....THIS SHOW WILL BE MISSED....BUT THERES THE RERUNS...SO THAT OK......THIS MAN MAKES MY HEART FLUTTERED ...REALLY BAD....HE IS SO DAMN HOT FOR HIS AGE.....LOVE IT...

RECENTLY............

TODAY IS FATHERS DAY....HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO MY MAN...WILLIE AGEE...FOR BEING THE BEST DADDY IN THE WORLD....TO MY CHILDREN....AND GRANDCHILDREN....I STILL HAVE THAT MEMORY OF YOU HOLDING GUNNY AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN U GOT TO HOLD HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME....GOTTA GET THE PIC SCAN...LOL.....THANK YOU FOR BEING A DAD TO ERNESTO....YOU HAVE DONE MORE AND BEEN THERE FOR HIM SINCE HE WAS 8YRS OLD...SOMETHING HIS OWN DADDY DIDNT DO....AND I DID SHOW THE IDIOT HOW I FELT TODAY ON HIM...I EVEN WROTE THE LYRICS TO THE SONG AND SEND IT TO HIM....SHIT...AT LEAST I GOT MY CHILD SUPPORT FROM THAT FOOL.....HE LOST OUT ....ON HIS SON...THAT I NAME FOR IN RESPECT...BAPTIZED HIM AND HONOR THE FOOL....LAST 6YRS YEARS NO MORE DRAMA....

MY DRAMA IS MY MAN WILLIE AND MY SON GUNTHER.....AND ERNESTO AND MY GRANDBABIES....

AS FOR THE DIET...IM DOING GREAT....WATER...LEMON WATER....JUICES...LITERALLY NOT OR HAVE OVER EATIN....IM DOING MY BABY FOOD DIET....SOMETIMES 14 JARS...SOMETIMES...6 JARS A DAY.....IVE HAD 5 SALADS TO DATE....3 MEALS TO DATE...EATIN THE PARFATS AT MICKEY D'S... TO ME IS THE BIGGEST THING ...LEAVING THAT COKE BEHIND...THAT I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST ..AND LOST 17 POUNDS...SO IM THRU THE FIRST WEEK...OF HUNGER PAINS...AND PUSHING THE H2O BIG TIME....GOING TO PUT THAT GUM IN MY MOUTH EVEN THOU I CAN ONLY CHEW GUM FOR 5 MINS....AFTER THE FLAVOR IS OUT...I CANT HANDLE THAT GUM....MY BODY IS
HUNGARY FOR FOOD...BUT IM SHOCKING THE HELL OUT OF IT......


BOUGHT MY VEGGIES FOR THE WK...AND I MADE SWEET POTATOES...AND BABY BULLETED THEM...TODAY...IM HAVING A MEAL...SPARE RIBS AND SALAD....BOUGHT AN EXTRA PITCHER..FOR MY LEMON WATER....

IN ONE WEEK...GUNNY GOES TO CAMP LEESBURG.... AND 2 1/2 WKS.....WE WILL BE GOING TO THE CONCERT OF OUR LIVES....MOTELY CRUE......WOOHOO....THAT I CANT WAIT FOR.....WELL I NEEDS TO GO.....GOING TO EAT MY FOURTH MEAL TO DATE.....IM OUT...LATER.....SWEETS.......................................