HOURS AWAY......10/11 WERE BAD YEARS.....12 WILL BE GOOD...........................I WILL DO FOR ME...........I WILL LIVE FOR ME... I WILL LOVE ME...I WILL SUPPORT MY GREATEST LOVE...MY CRUEHEAD AGEE...GUNNY BUTT.....I WILL MARRY MY SWEET WILL WILL THIS YEAR IN FRONT OF GOD....BY MY SWEET LOVELY RACHEL.......I WILL STAND BEHIND MY SON ERNESTO...HE COMES HOME IN 114 DAYS FROM NOW....NEWS ALERT..............
I VOW....TO BE AS SWEET AS I CAN.....BUT THE BITCH IN ME...WILL COME OUT...I WILL NOT HOLD BACK...I WILL SAY WHAT I NEED TO SAY...,,.I WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN TO SIZE...FARE WARNING PEOPLE.....THAT WHO KNOCKS ME DOWN THIS YEAR...IT WILL NOT HAPPEN............ITS ALL REAL.......TAKING BACK ME....................MRS. WILLIE RAY AGEE....SIGNIN OUT........................................KISS KISS
.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
part 3 of 12/25/11.......
so now its my birthday....and i had a therapy appointment with kev......and during my session as i was trying to get thru my bullshit with the daughter...... during the session....i called her...and told her she had til the 26th of dec...for her and the kids to be gone...of course her she starts her why...what did i do wrong....and she asked me to keep the girls and i said no.....so i hung up....she proceeded to call and left a vm...as usual she cussing me out...and i let kev listen to the vm.....and we listened and then ms tina calls me from mississsippi and asking me whats going on...and i said i was done....and she asked why...and i told her i dont have to discussed with you why and i hung the phone up on her...so...
by the time i got home....and what went down....she said she was going to mississippi and she is leaving today...my birthday...so.......throwing her shit out in the hall...from my room...and she throwing food in to garbage bags....so....i left and sat on my porch....and mike is telling me how she was cussing up a strom pissed off screaming and yelling...this before i came home.....so gunny and mike tell me to look in the kitchen....REALLY....................
AS U SEE ABOVE AND MY VIDEO....THIS IS WHAT I DEAL WITH.....FULLY COCKED OUT OF CONTROL DAUGHTER................
so we change the code on the door for her not to come back into my home.....so she is gone...and if it takes me away from seeing my grandchildren again.....so be it.....im DONE...... not another day will i fall for her......shit ever AGAIN,....if she calls....which i think she will...the answer is NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AS U SEE ABOVE AND MY VIDEO....THIS IS WHAT I DEAL WITH.....FULLY COCKED OUT OF CONTROL DAUGHTER................
so we change the code on the door for her not to come back into my home.....so she is gone...and if it takes me away from seeing my grandchildren again.....so be it.....im DONE...... not another day will i fall for her......shit ever AGAIN,....if she calls....which i think she will...the answer is NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, December 26, 2011
cont...of 12/25/11....
OK...JAZ CALLS BACK....I TOLD HER SHE HAD TIL...1/25/12....TO LEAVE I SET THIS TIME LIMIT FOR A REASON...BUT I WENT A STEP FUTHER AND MADE HER SIGN A CONTRACT...IF SHE DIDNT FOLLOW THE RULES AND DIDNT GET A JOB AND OR APT BY THIS DATE...I WOULD TAKE TEMP CUSTODY OF THE KIDS...TIL SHE DID.......
SO WE TRANSFERED THE GIRLS TO CARLTON PALMORE...DAILY I HAD TO GET UP AND WAKE HER ASS UP....WHILE THE GIRLS SLEPT WITH ME..I TOLD THEM TO GET DRESS AND SIT ON THE COUCH...AND WAIT TO GO TO SCHOOL...SHE DIDNT EVEN GET UP WHEN THE ALARM WENT OFF....REALLY.............GEE US........OMG....TIL THIS WAS DONE EVERY DAY....LITERALLY............I GOT TO THE POINT WHERE SHE WALKED THE GIRLS TO SCHOOL AND PICK THE GIRLS UP FROM SCHOOL....LOW ON GAS MONIES....WHEN SHE GOT BACK FROM DOING THIS....SHE WOULD GO RIGHT BACK ON THE FLOOR..AND SLEEP AND NOT WATCH MELLY..LET ALONE FEED THE BOY...REALLY.....
24/7 ON THE TV...IF I DIDNT TURN IT OFF.....SHE LOOKED FOR JOBS ONLINE ABOUT THREE TIMES.....DID A LOAD OF WASH AND FOLDED A FEW TIMES...LOADED THE DISHWASHER AND PUT AWAY FEW TIMES..VACUUMED ONCE.....SHE EVEN MADE SURE PASSION WAS IN CHARGE OF GETTIN MELLYS BATH DONE .......LAZY................REALLY....
SO AS WE WAITED FOR FOOD STAMPS FOR HER...I MADE A FOOD LIST OUT OF THIS WORLD...........WOW...MANAGED TO SPEND ALL OF HER 700.00...REALLY.....
ANYWHO.......THERE WERE TIMES WHEN WE DISCUSSED ABOUT THINGS...SURE ENOUGH...SHE STILL DOESNT ACCEPT THAT SHE IS IN THE WRONG ...AS USUAL....I HAD TO GET UP AND LEAVE AT TIMES......THEN MY BIRTHDAY,....MORE...LATER...NEED A MOMENT.....LISTENING TO RICKY MARTIN......
SO WE TRANSFERED THE GIRLS TO CARLTON PALMORE...DAILY I HAD TO GET UP AND WAKE HER ASS UP....WHILE THE GIRLS SLEPT WITH ME..I TOLD THEM TO GET DRESS AND SIT ON THE COUCH...AND WAIT TO GO TO SCHOOL...SHE DIDNT EVEN GET UP WHEN THE ALARM WENT OFF....REALLY.............GEE US........OMG....TIL THIS WAS DONE EVERY DAY....LITERALLY............I GOT TO THE POINT WHERE SHE WALKED THE GIRLS TO SCHOOL AND PICK THE GIRLS UP FROM SCHOOL....LOW ON GAS MONIES....WHEN SHE GOT BACK FROM DOING THIS....SHE WOULD GO RIGHT BACK ON THE FLOOR..AND SLEEP AND NOT WATCH MELLY..LET ALONE FEED THE BOY...REALLY.....
24/7 ON THE TV...IF I DIDNT TURN IT OFF.....SHE LOOKED FOR JOBS ONLINE ABOUT THREE TIMES.....DID A LOAD OF WASH AND FOLDED A FEW TIMES...LOADED THE DISHWASHER AND PUT AWAY FEW TIMES..VACUUMED ONCE.....SHE EVEN MADE SURE PASSION WAS IN CHARGE OF GETTIN MELLYS BATH DONE .......LAZY................REALLY....
SO AS WE WAITED FOR FOOD STAMPS FOR HER...I MADE A FOOD LIST OUT OF THIS WORLD...........WOW...MANAGED TO SPEND ALL OF HER 700.00...REALLY.....
ANYWHO.......THERE WERE TIMES WHEN WE DISCUSSED ABOUT THINGS...SURE ENOUGH...SHE STILL DOESNT ACCEPT THAT SHE IS IN THE WRONG ...AS USUAL....I HAD TO GET UP AND LEAVE AT TIMES......THEN MY BIRTHDAY,....MORE...LATER...NEED A MOMENT.....LISTENING TO RICKY MARTIN......
Sunday, December 25, 2011
CHRISTMAS DAY...........AND EVENTS PRIOR TO THIS DATE..12/25/11....
WELL I HAVE ALOT TO SAY...BEEN KEEPING IT IN FOR A MINUTE....REALLY A MONTH LONG....WOW.....
THANKSGIVING WEEK...I WENT HOME TO CHICAGO...DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM LAKELAND FL....TO CHICAGO...WOW.....IT WAS SO COLD...RAINY...ONE DAY OF SUNNY...AND TRYING TO LEAVE TURKEY DAY....I DIDNT GET ON THE ROAD TIL..11 AM...BUT I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET THAT DONE..I WENT TO GET MY FRIEND OF 33+ YEARS SINCE IVE BEEN 18...IVE KNOWN MIKE....IM BEING A FRIEND AND HELPING HIM GET ON HIS FEET.....AND GOT HIM TO FLA.....IT WAS A HARD TASKED..BUT I GOT IT DONE...IT TOOK A MINUTE...LATE START...HE FREAKED OUT....LIKE I KNEW HE WOULD...BUT I GOT HIM ACROSS THE INDIANA STATE LINE.....AND HE SETTLE DOWN.....HE HAS BEEN TREATED LIKE SHIT FROM THIS BRO...HIS MOTHER ...THE EX....AND IM OPENING MY HOME TO HIM...AT THE MOMENT...I DONT CARE HOW IT LOOKS......WE GOOD FRIENDS....I LOVE HIM....BUT HE RESPECTS ME...TO WAIT FOR ME......BUT MOST OF ALL IM DOING A GOOD DEED.....LIFE GOES ON......
NOW WE GET HOME AT 630 AM FRIDAY 11/25/11 AND I PUT THE BIRD IN...AND SLEEP FOR ABOUT 6 HOURS...CUZ I WAS UP FOR 36 HOURS PRIOR.....AND NESTO CALLED...AND AS I WAS TALKING TO HIM...THE GRAND DAUGHTERS SHOW UP....AND JAZ...SAYS PHASE TWO IS IN EFFECT.....WHICH WAS FOR ME TO TAKE THE GIRLS...AND MELLY AND HER WAS GOING TO SHACK UP WITH CHARLIE BROWN.....(he is real)..LOL
SHE CALLS ME THREE HOURS LATER...SHE HAS NO PLACE TO GO.............GUESS WHO CAME TO MY HOUSE....NOW I HAD 8 PEPS IN MY HOUSE....OMG......WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING..................REALLY BON BON.......CONT....IN A MINUTE.......
THANKSGIVING WEEK...I WENT HOME TO CHICAGO...DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM LAKELAND FL....TO CHICAGO...WOW.....IT WAS SO COLD...RAINY...ONE DAY OF SUNNY...AND TRYING TO LEAVE TURKEY DAY....I DIDNT GET ON THE ROAD TIL..11 AM...BUT I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET THAT DONE..I WENT TO GET MY FRIEND OF 33+ YEARS SINCE IVE BEEN 18...IVE KNOWN MIKE....IM BEING A FRIEND AND HELPING HIM GET ON HIS FEET.....AND GOT HIM TO FLA.....IT WAS A HARD TASKED..BUT I GOT IT DONE...IT TOOK A MINUTE...LATE START...HE FREAKED OUT....LIKE I KNEW HE WOULD...BUT I GOT HIM ACROSS THE INDIANA STATE LINE.....AND HE SETTLE DOWN.....HE HAS BEEN TREATED LIKE SHIT FROM THIS BRO...HIS MOTHER ...THE EX....AND IM OPENING MY HOME TO HIM...AT THE MOMENT...I DONT CARE HOW IT LOOKS......WE GOOD FRIENDS....I LOVE HIM....BUT HE RESPECTS ME...TO WAIT FOR ME......BUT MOST OF ALL IM DOING A GOOD DEED.....LIFE GOES ON......
NOW WE GET HOME AT 630 AM FRIDAY 11/25/11 AND I PUT THE BIRD IN...AND SLEEP FOR ABOUT 6 HOURS...CUZ I WAS UP FOR 36 HOURS PRIOR.....AND NESTO CALLED...AND AS I WAS TALKING TO HIM...THE GRAND DAUGHTERS SHOW UP....AND JAZ...SAYS PHASE TWO IS IN EFFECT.....WHICH WAS FOR ME TO TAKE THE GIRLS...AND MELLY AND HER WAS GOING TO SHACK UP WITH CHARLIE BROWN.....(he is real)..LOL
SHE CALLS ME THREE HOURS LATER...SHE HAS NO PLACE TO GO.............GUESS WHO CAME TO MY HOUSE....NOW I HAD 8 PEPS IN MY HOUSE....OMG......WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING..................REALLY BON BON.......CONT....IN A MINUTE.......
MERRY CHRISTMAS....2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
WORDS I WILL LIVE BY....AS OF 12/20/11.......
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GROW AND HEAL.NOW IS THE TIME TO BE WHO U WANT AND LOVE THOSE WHO REALLY LOVE YOU. YOU ARE STRONG, VALUABLE AND LOVEABLE. YOU ARE IN CONTROL AND U DONT HAVE TO LIVE UP TO ANYONES EXEPECTIONS. MAY THIS BE THE DAY OF CHANGE, BE STRONG BE POWERFUL AND REMEMBER THAT U ARE NEVER ALONE....DR.KEVIN HULL 12/20/11......
THE BEST THERAPIST IN LAKELAND AND A FRIEND TO THE AGEE FAMILY.....THANKS KEV.................
THE BEST THERAPIST IN LAKELAND AND A FRIEND TO THE AGEE FAMILY.....THANKS KEV.................
Monday, December 19, 2011
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.........
IM 52......................AND I JUST KICKED MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR THE FUCKIN ASS TIME.............LIFE IS GOOD.............................
Sunday, December 11, 2011
OMG...WTF....REALLY
GOD DAMN IT BONNIE...WHY U LET THIS SHIT KEEP DESTROYING YOU.......WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCH....
WHEN I SIT BACK....I THINK...WOW I HAD A MOTHER FOR 10 YEARS BEFORE SHE LEFT US....AND LIVING STATES AWAY...AND THEN I...SIT...AND THINK...GOING ON 15 YEARS OF BULLSHIT....AND I KEEP LETTING THINGS HAPPEN TO ME....BECUZ ITS ALL ABOUT THEM....
BONNIE GET YOUR ASS GOING....HERE...REALLY.....YOU THE BITCH IN YOUR LIFE.....GET TO IT................................
all right now...im pyshoing my ass up....to get....some BRASS BALLS....since they in the way right now...on my damn....CHEST...LOL.....
WHEN I SIT BACK....I THINK...WOW I HAD A MOTHER FOR 10 YEARS BEFORE SHE LEFT US....AND LIVING STATES AWAY...AND THEN I...SIT...AND THINK...GOING ON 15 YEARS OF BULLSHIT....AND I KEEP LETTING THINGS HAPPEN TO ME....BECUZ ITS ALL ABOUT THEM....
BONNIE GET YOUR ASS GOING....HERE...REALLY.....YOU THE BITCH IN YOUR LIFE.....GET TO IT................................
all right now...im pyshoing my ass up....to get....some BRASS BALLS....since they in the way right now...on my damn....CHEST...LOL.....
Sunday, December 4, 2011
ive got so much crap to say...
and get it off my f en chest....and i just know....when i spill....someone and somebody...is gonna kick my f en ass........GEE US............... i really dont know what to say and or how to say it...and its building up inside me...and its killing me...
Saturday, December 3, 2011
really....are u
fucking kidding me....my new sayin in the last 24 hours...i went on STRIKE....IM SO DONE....really....waited all day for me to help ...im doing this for a minute....gee us........REALLY.......
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
DEALING REALLY.....AND OUT OF SORTS...
I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY...BUT IM STUCK LIKE CHUCK.....AND I DONT KNOW WHAT AND HOW TO SAY IT...IM LOSING IT TO ON TOP OF THAT....DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.................
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
well...im on a roadtrip/2011
i left at 3am from lakeland monday morning on three hours of sleep... i ve went thru 5 gas stations....and gas was 3.11/3.19 a gallon..not bad...i hate driving thru ga....i swear thats a long state...but i did i/75 to i/24 to i/65...and i made good time including driving in the rain thru the mountians....and so alot of fog....i didnt eat til almost 4pm... just water and coffee and when i gassed up in ind/kentucky...next door was a white castle...of course i had to eat.......woohoo.........so hot and fresh..got to the first rest stop in ind...and tried to sleep.. i straighten the car...did the meds....and tried to sleep for at least an hour...park on the opposite side where i wasnt near the big trucks....laying around..its midnight some smuck taps my window wants a jump..lets just say i high tail my ass out........went to the next reststop... thank god regualar folk were sleeping in there cars...and i got two more hours of sleep....and now im at mickey d's charging everything...so...having my coffee and chillin............
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
REALLY..........
WELL..............I SIT HERE AND WONDER WHY...DO I KEEP GETTING UPSET....OVER THE LITTLEST THING WHEN IT COMES TO MY HUSBAND......
THE MARBLES ARE NOT THERE AT TIMES...AND 17 YEARS AGO...I TOOK THIS CHALLENGE AND ACCEPTED OF WHO MY HUSBAND WAS...I KNOW HE HAD SOME TYPE OF MENTAL CHALLENGE LIKE ADULT ADD OR..SOMETHING....HE HAS BEEN A HARD WORKING MAN...HIS WHOLE LIFE...THATS A GOOD THING....AT ONE TIME WHILE HE WAS AT THE LEDGER...I GOT MY HUBBY TESTED ABOUT HIS MENTAL ABILITIES..AND BASICALLY HE ANIT GOOD IN MATH.. CAN READ AND PROCESS...BUT HE OVERCOMES HIS CAPABILITY'S..THRU HIS WORK ETHICS..
THRU THE YEARS....MANY A TIME..I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM...AND GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND...WHERE I BREAK IT DOWN FOR HIM ...THIS COULD BE HIS JOB...HOME..LIFE IN GENERAL....ALL ALONG IM BEEN DOING THIS ....GIVING HIM HINTS...TO HELP HIM ALONG...BUT...IM GETTIN TIRED OF IT.....
A FEW OF OUR FRIENDS...KNOW AND ACCEPT MY HUBBY FOR WHO HE IS...A HARD WORKING MAN...CAN BE FUNNY AT TIMES..CAN BE RUDE...CAN COME THRU FOR YA... AND SOMETIMES...SAYS THE SMARTEST THING THAT MAKES SENSE.... THATS WHEN I SEE HIS GOOD MARBLES....
BUT...LATELY....I MEAN YEARS...THE LITTLE THINGS ARE BOTHERING ME....LIKE...OK...HE EATS MAYO....NOW BROWN SUGAR IN TEA....OR WASTING MY COPY PAPER FOR MY PRINTER....OR EAT ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME(cuz i cant keep food in this house...) AND I STILL HAVE A GROWING BOY TO ATTEND TOO......SOMETIMES..I JUST DONT BUT FOOD CUZ SOMETIMES I HAVE TO HIDE IT....REALLY..........
HE MY HUBBY IS A GOOD MAN...NEVERED DID DRUGS...NEVER BEEN ARRESTED...HE PUTS ME ON THIS PEDESTAL...TELLS EVERYBODY WHO SWEETS IS...HIS SWEETIE......WE HAVE THIS WEIRD KIND OF RELATIONSHIP....WHEN WE ARE ALONE...I SEE THE WILLIE I FEEL IN LOVE WITH...WE CAN JOKE...BITCH...LAUGH...I GET ON HIS NERVES...(in his mind...he thinks...WHAT DOES SWEETIE WANT NOW...)..HE LETS ME CONTROL EVERYTHING...I LOVE CONTROL...LOL...THATS MY ADDICTION....LOL........ANYWHO...I TAKE CARE OF ALL THE THINGS IN LIFE...BILLS...DECISIONS...THINGS WE NEED...AND DONT NEED...OR..I LOVE IT..WE BE FOOD SHOPPING AND THE MAN......SLIPS..SOMETHING IN THE CART...AND IF I DONT PAY ATTENTION...I SAY WE DONT NEED THAT...SAME THING AT WALLY WORLD...IM QUICK TO SAY WE DONT NEED THAT OR I HAVE NO MONEY FOR THAT....
SO...IM GETTIN UPSET FOR NOTHING...REALLY...I JUST GETTIN TIRED....I KNOW THIS IS WHO WE ARE....BUT IT GETS OLD....I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART...I JUST FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CARE OF A BIG KID...AT TIMES....BUT THE PRIVATE WILLIE IS THE ONE IM IN LOVE WITH...THE ONE THAT MAKES IT ALL GO AWAY....AND I SLIP INTO HIS WORLD...OF US....
BUT HE LETS ME BE WHO I AM...THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN....AND I ACCEPT HIM...INCLUDING HIS LOVE OF ART...WHICH SOMETIMES HE PUTS FIRST BEFORE THE WIFE...LOL....BUT IT WORKS....SOMEHOW...SOMEWAY..............LOVE U BITCH....WILL WILL AGEE....
THE MARBLES ARE NOT THERE AT TIMES...AND 17 YEARS AGO...I TOOK THIS CHALLENGE AND ACCEPTED OF WHO MY HUSBAND WAS...I KNOW HE HAD SOME TYPE OF MENTAL CHALLENGE LIKE ADULT ADD OR..SOMETHING....HE HAS BEEN A HARD WORKING MAN...HIS WHOLE LIFE...THATS A GOOD THING....AT ONE TIME WHILE HE WAS AT THE LEDGER...I GOT MY HUBBY TESTED ABOUT HIS MENTAL ABILITIES..AND BASICALLY HE ANIT GOOD IN MATH.. CAN READ AND PROCESS...BUT HE OVERCOMES HIS CAPABILITY'S..THRU HIS WORK ETHICS..
THRU THE YEARS....MANY A TIME..I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM...AND GET HIM TO UNDERSTAND...WHERE I BREAK IT DOWN FOR HIM ...THIS COULD BE HIS JOB...HOME..LIFE IN GENERAL....ALL ALONG IM BEEN DOING THIS ....GIVING HIM HINTS...TO HELP HIM ALONG...BUT...IM GETTIN TIRED OF IT.....
A FEW OF OUR FRIENDS...KNOW AND ACCEPT MY HUBBY FOR WHO HE IS...A HARD WORKING MAN...CAN BE FUNNY AT TIMES..CAN BE RUDE...CAN COME THRU FOR YA... AND SOMETIMES...SAYS THE SMARTEST THING THAT MAKES SENSE.... THATS WHEN I SEE HIS GOOD MARBLES....
BUT...LATELY....I MEAN YEARS...THE LITTLE THINGS ARE BOTHERING ME....LIKE...OK...HE EATS MAYO....NOW BROWN SUGAR IN TEA....OR WASTING MY COPY PAPER FOR MY PRINTER....OR EAT ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME(cuz i cant keep food in this house...) AND I STILL HAVE A GROWING BOY TO ATTEND TOO......SOMETIMES..I JUST DONT BUT FOOD CUZ SOMETIMES I HAVE TO HIDE IT....REALLY..........
HE MY HUBBY IS A GOOD MAN...NEVERED DID DRUGS...NEVER BEEN ARRESTED...HE PUTS ME ON THIS PEDESTAL...TELLS EVERYBODY WHO SWEETS IS...HIS SWEETIE......WE HAVE THIS WEIRD KIND OF RELATIONSHIP....WHEN WE ARE ALONE...I SEE THE WILLIE I FEEL IN LOVE WITH...WE CAN JOKE...BITCH...LAUGH...I GET ON HIS NERVES...(in his mind...he thinks...WHAT DOES SWEETIE WANT NOW...)..HE LETS ME CONTROL EVERYTHING...I LOVE CONTROL...LOL...THATS MY ADDICTION....LOL........ANYWHO...I TAKE CARE OF ALL THE THINGS IN LIFE...BILLS...DECISIONS...THINGS WE NEED...AND DONT NEED...OR..I LOVE IT..WE BE FOOD SHOPPING AND THE MAN......SLIPS..SOMETHING IN THE CART...AND IF I DONT PAY ATTENTION...I SAY WE DONT NEED THAT...SAME THING AT WALLY WORLD...IM QUICK TO SAY WE DONT NEED THAT OR I HAVE NO MONEY FOR THAT....
SO...IM GETTIN UPSET FOR NOTHING...REALLY...I JUST GETTIN TIRED....I KNOW THIS IS WHO WE ARE....BUT IT GETS OLD....I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART...I JUST FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CARE OF A BIG KID...AT TIMES....BUT THE PRIVATE WILLIE IS THE ONE IM IN LOVE WITH...THE ONE THAT MAKES IT ALL GO AWAY....AND I SLIP INTO HIS WORLD...OF US....
BUT HE LETS ME BE WHO I AM...THE INDEPENDENT WOMAN....AND I ACCEPT HIM...INCLUDING HIS LOVE OF ART...WHICH SOMETIMES HE PUTS FIRST BEFORE THE WIFE...LOL....BUT IT WORKS....SOMEHOW...SOMEWAY..............LOVE U BITCH....WILL WILL AGEE....
Sunday, November 13, 2011
in less than a wk........
i just map out my journey from... fl...to chicago...this will be the second time im driving home but this time im driving alone on the way up...but driving down with my friend to the end....
i hope i dont get lost in the process..having a hard time looking for starbucks on the way up there....i need to have someway to charge the laptop and cell for a minute while im driving up.....i research on starbucks.com...but i just cant seem to figure it out...so....i figure it out...
going to visit my grandma chilvers grave...which is a good thing...this will be my third trip....to her grave since she passed in 99......i have the car packed as of a wk ago....getting a room at super 8 in bolingbrook....and do some type of errands while im up there...like white castle....protillos....hit the memories of home...taking pics of my trip going up and coming back down to SUNNY FLA.............
going to celebrate turkey day when i get back to fl.........looking at friday...cooking the bird the minute i walkin in the door....gunny going to help his daddy during the week at harrys...
i hope i see at least some snow......make it happen il................LOL...................im out...later.......sweets
i hope i dont get lost in the process..having a hard time looking for starbucks on the way up there....i need to have someway to charge the laptop and cell for a minute while im driving up.....i research on starbucks.com...but i just cant seem to figure it out...so....i figure it out...
going to visit my grandma chilvers grave...which is a good thing...this will be my third trip....to her grave since she passed in 99......i have the car packed as of a wk ago....getting a room at super 8 in bolingbrook....and do some type of errands while im up there...like white castle....protillos....hit the memories of home...taking pics of my trip going up and coming back down to SUNNY FLA.............
going to celebrate turkey day when i get back to fl.........looking at friday...cooking the bird the minute i walkin in the door....gunny going to help his daddy during the week at harrys...
i hope i see at least some snow......make it happen il................LOL...................im out...later.......sweets
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
maybe earlier than turkey day....
might be going to il sooner then 11/21/11...which would work out beautifully....im game...cool...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
things are gettin done.........
well i have the whole house deco to xmas.....colored my hair..did my nails and toes...and facial....house is straighten and im going on a short trip....to chicago...
gotta drive from fl to il...on 11/21/11 to go get my friend....details later...much later...
gotta drive from fl to il...on 11/21/11 to go get my friend....details later...much later...
Monday, October 31, 2011
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.............one of my favs...............
http://youtu.be/qNsLkD39EnY............................................... IM JUST ANOTHER PSYCHO.....THATS ME.....................LOL..........................
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
PUMPKIN PATCH 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
RIGHT ABOUT NOW...........
I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW FROM ALL THAT HURT ME...THAT INCLUDES FAMILY, FRINEDS............IM SO DONE....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PASSION
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
MAJOR BULL SHIT.............
WOW LOSING YOUR DAMN MIND....COULD IT BE ANYONE BUT BE............HE IS LOST....I GUESS HE CANT HEAR...HE CANT SEE AND HE DONT HAVE THE BALLS....GET OVER IT BITCH.....A WHOLE WK GOES BY AND YOU SENDING EMAILS AND NOT USING YOUR PHONE...OH I SEE CLEARLY NOW....YOU HOMELESS...AND U SENDING ME EMAILS...YOU DONT HAVE A PHONE WITH TEXT OR WEB...SO EMAILS....WHATEVA....IM DONE...
Friday, October 7, 2011
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING................
ITS TIME FOR ME TO LET IT RIPPED AGAIN....IM SO TIRED OF BULLSHIT.....AND WHY DO I LET THIS HAPPEN......ABOUT A MONTH AGO....ME AND WILL WENT TO THE DOCTORS...THAT WAS VERY UNPLEASANT...AND UPSETTING...PISSED AS FUCK...BUT IM LOST AT WORDS AND JUST DONT WANT TO GET INTO THAT JUST YET.....
THEN....LIMATIONS WERE BEING SET TO ME ON MY JOB....BASCIALLY...I WORKED FROM 7:30AM TO 6PM MON/FRI....IF I HAD DOCTORS APPOINTMENST I HAD TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE FOR FRIDAYS AND AFTER 2PM...do u really think doctors work after 2pm on fridays...SO THAT WAS LIMATIONS #1....#2 my last wk there...ONLY TV FOR TWO HOURS....WTF...#3 IF I WANTED TO TAKE THE BABY TO THE MALL OR IF I HAD AN ERRAND TO DO..SHE DIDNT WANT ME TO TAKE THE BABY OUT OF THE HOUSE AS LONG AS SHE WASNT WITH ME...mom....WELL I ANIT GOING TO WORK LIKE THIS...FOR LOW PAY AND LONG HOURS...AND I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO PICK UP MY KID FROM AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM OR TIME FOR HIS HOMEWORK..OR ALLOW HIM TO WALK HOME IN THE RAIN OR HEAT...OR TAKE HIM TO THE FOOTBALL GAME FOR SCHOOL...BUT THIS mom...DID ACTIVITIES WITH HER TO OLDEST GIRLS...AND LEAVING ME WITH THE BABY....I SEE NO TIME FOR MOMMY AND BABY...SO..I QUIT......
SO I STARTED TO PUT APPLICATIONS IN ONLINE...LOOKIN AND I REVAMPED MY CARE.COM PAGE TO FIND ANOTHER NANNY POSITION...AND NOW...IN ONE WK OF NOT WORKING...IM LETTING BE..............FUCK WITH ME...AND TREAT ME LIKE SHIT....
HOLD THE FUCK UP.....JACKASS.................
I SWEAR...THIS CHILDHOOD LOVE QUEST....I FEEL LIKE IM IN SCHOOL....AND HE BITCHIN WITH ME ON SCHOOL HOUSE SHIT..............WTF...............LAST TIME I CHECKED..I WAS 51 YRS OLD...AS HE IS.........DAMN IM GROWN...BUT THIS LITTLE BOY IS PLAYING CHILDHOOD GAMES WITH ME......OH HELL TO THE FUCK NO.................AS I SAID IN AN EARLIER BLOG...HE IS HOMELESS AT THE MINUTE....I HAVE GIVEN HIM INFO WHERE HE COULD GO...TO GET HELP AND SHELTER AND YOU KNOW...A WOMAN KNOWS ALL ABOUT THAT CRAP..AND I GAVE HIM THE INFO.....TYPICAL MAN....he dont have a clue...........SO....I WAS A FRIEND INDEED...TO HIM...I GAVE HIM MONEY FOR A PO BOX...BACK IN IL...SO HE AT LEAST HAD AN ADDRESS FOR HIS BILLS...AND TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ME...AND OR HIS FAMILY....SO...............................
so much fot lovin me forever or was that alie also... THIS IS THE EMAIL I GOT THIS MORNING...FROM...BE.....OK.............
TWO DAYS GO BY HE DIDNT CALL ME...I THOUGHT OK SPACE...ON THE SECOND DAY LAST NIGHT HE CALLS ME AND IT WENT STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL(2)...SO I CKED MY EMAILS THIS MORNING LIKE CLOCKWORK...HE NEVER EMAILS ME...EVER....AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID....^^^^^.....................AND THEN I GOT MY CELL...AND SAW THAT HE CALLED ME LAST NIGHT..I NEVERED CK THE PHONE TIL THIS MORNING...SO....I WENT AHEAD AND CALLED HIM...AND LEFT 4VOICEMAILS...VERY PLEASANT AND SWEET....needless to say...i yet havent gotten one voicemail where he is pleasant..he always has an attitude... HE CALLS ME....STATING WHY I LEFT 6VM...AND IF I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HIM...JUST SAY SO...WTF...IS WRONG WITH THIS DICK...............OMG....I LITERALLY SCREAM ON THE PHONE TO EXPLAIN...I DIDNT CK THE CELL TIL THIS MORNING AND I HUNGED UP ON HIS ASS................AND PROCEED TO A EMAIL....AND U ASSUME I DID....HOW DARE YOU....TWO DAYS GO BY AND U DIDNT CALL ME..ON THAT SECOND DAY...AT NIGHT...I DIDNT KNOW U CALLED...I DIDNT EVEN CHECK THE PHONE TIL THIS MORNING AND I HAD LISTEN TO THE MESSAGES AFTER I FIRST CHECKED MY EMAILS...U NEVER EMAIL ME...AND I READ THIS...AND EMAIL U BACKED...THEN I CHECKED THE PHONE...AND I DIDNT KNOW U CALLED ME LAST NIGHT BUT I SEE AND LISTEN TO THE VOICEMAILS...AND YES I CALLED THIS MORNING AND LEFT THE MESSAGES...EASY MISTAKE AND NOW U ... IF I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ...I SHOULD JUST SAY SO....WHAT THE FUCK....MICHEAL STOP THIS SHIT....U ALWAYS VERY UNPLEASANT ON YOUR VOICEMAILS...I IN RETURN GIVE U SWEET KIND VOICEMAILS...AND NOW I GET MY HEAD CHEWED OFF BY YOU....AND U WONDER WHY I JUST SCREAM AT YOU AND HUNG UP......IM SO TIRED OF UGLY VOICEMAILS I DONT DISSERVE THIS...I HAVE TAKEN IT UP TIL NOW...I HAVE GONE OUT OF MY WAY FOR YOU AS BEST AS I CAN...I JUST GAVE U MONEY FOR A PO BOX...AND I GET TREATED LIKE THIS FOR YOUR BULLSHIT....I FIGURED YOU DIDNT HAVE TIME TO CALL THESE LAST TWO DAYS...SO I GAVE U SPACE...BUT NO...NOW U GOING OFF HALF COCKED....THAT I AINT LOVING YOU FOREVER...AND I LIED TO YOU....WAKE THE FUCK UP MIKE....IVE DONE NOTHING WRONG...I EVEN HAVE THE RESPECT FOR YOU NOT TO CALL YOU IN THE MORNING SINCE YOU DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE...AND THATS ALL I WANT TO DO..CUZ IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU...THANKS MIKE...THANKS FOR EVERYTHING...U SURE KNOW HOW TO HURT A GIRLS FEELINGS....
SO THATS MY DAY FOR 2DAY....LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE PEOPLE...STOP THIS BULLSHIT....IM TIRED OF BEING NICE...TIME FOR ME TO ..................................WELL U DONT WANT TO ASK ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW..IM WILLING TO SAY ANYTHING AT THIS POINT AND IT ANIT PRETTY.............................WHATEVA...MICHEAL...
THEN....LIMATIONS WERE BEING SET TO ME ON MY JOB....BASCIALLY...I WORKED FROM 7:30AM TO 6PM MON/FRI....IF I HAD DOCTORS APPOINTMENST I HAD TO MAKE SURE THEY WERE FOR FRIDAYS AND AFTER 2PM...do u really think doctors work after 2pm on fridays...SO THAT WAS LIMATIONS #1....#2 my last wk there...ONLY TV FOR TWO HOURS....WTF...#3 IF I WANTED TO TAKE THE BABY TO THE MALL OR IF I HAD AN ERRAND TO DO..SHE DIDNT WANT ME TO TAKE THE BABY OUT OF THE HOUSE AS LONG AS SHE WASNT WITH ME...mom....WELL I ANIT GOING TO WORK LIKE THIS...FOR LOW PAY AND LONG HOURS...AND I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO PICK UP MY KID FROM AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM OR TIME FOR HIS HOMEWORK..OR ALLOW HIM TO WALK HOME IN THE RAIN OR HEAT...OR TAKE HIM TO THE FOOTBALL GAME FOR SCHOOL...BUT THIS mom...DID ACTIVITIES WITH HER TO OLDEST GIRLS...AND LEAVING ME WITH THE BABY....I SEE NO TIME FOR MOMMY AND BABY...SO..I QUIT......
SO I STARTED TO PUT APPLICATIONS IN ONLINE...LOOKIN AND I REVAMPED MY CARE.COM PAGE TO FIND ANOTHER NANNY POSITION...AND NOW...IN ONE WK OF NOT WORKING...IM LETTING BE..............FUCK WITH ME...AND TREAT ME LIKE SHIT....
HOLD THE FUCK UP.....JACKASS.................
I SWEAR...THIS CHILDHOOD LOVE QUEST....I FEEL LIKE IM IN SCHOOL....AND HE BITCHIN WITH ME ON SCHOOL HOUSE SHIT..............WTF...............LAST TIME I CHECKED..I WAS 51 YRS OLD...AS HE IS.........DAMN IM GROWN...BUT THIS LITTLE BOY IS PLAYING CHILDHOOD GAMES WITH ME......OH HELL TO THE FUCK NO.................AS I SAID IN AN EARLIER BLOG...HE IS HOMELESS AT THE MINUTE....I HAVE GIVEN HIM INFO WHERE HE COULD GO...TO GET HELP AND SHELTER AND YOU KNOW...A WOMAN KNOWS ALL ABOUT THAT CRAP..AND I GAVE HIM THE INFO.....TYPICAL MAN....he dont have a clue...........SO....I WAS A FRIEND INDEED...TO HIM...I GAVE HIM MONEY FOR A PO BOX...BACK IN IL...SO HE AT LEAST HAD AN ADDRESS FOR HIS BILLS...AND TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ME...AND OR HIS FAMILY....SO...............................
so much fot lovin me forever or was that alie also... THIS IS THE EMAIL I GOT THIS MORNING...FROM...BE.....OK.............
TWO DAYS GO BY HE DIDNT CALL ME...I THOUGHT OK SPACE...ON THE SECOND DAY LAST NIGHT HE CALLS ME AND IT WENT STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL(2)...SO I CKED MY EMAILS THIS MORNING LIKE CLOCKWORK...HE NEVER EMAILS ME...EVER....AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID....^^^^^.....................AND THEN I GOT MY CELL...AND SAW THAT HE CALLED ME LAST NIGHT..I NEVERED CK THE PHONE TIL THIS MORNING...SO....I WENT AHEAD AND CALLED HIM...AND LEFT 4VOICEMAILS...VERY PLEASANT AND SWEET....needless to say...i yet havent gotten one voicemail where he is pleasant..he always has an attitude... HE CALLS ME....STATING WHY I LEFT 6VM...AND IF I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HIM...JUST SAY SO...WTF...IS WRONG WITH THIS DICK...............OMG....I LITERALLY SCREAM ON THE PHONE TO EXPLAIN...I DIDNT CK THE CELL TIL THIS MORNING AND I HUNGED UP ON HIS ASS................AND PROCEED TO A EMAIL....AND U ASSUME I DID....HOW DARE YOU....TWO DAYS GO BY AND U DIDNT CALL ME..ON THAT SECOND DAY...AT NIGHT...I DIDNT KNOW U CALLED...I DIDNT EVEN CHECK THE PHONE TIL THIS MORNING AND I HAD LISTEN TO THE MESSAGES AFTER I FIRST CHECKED MY EMAILS...U NEVER EMAIL ME...AND I READ THIS...AND EMAIL U BACKED...THEN I CHECKED THE PHONE...AND I DIDNT KNOW U CALLED ME LAST NIGHT BUT I SEE AND LISTEN TO THE VOICEMAILS...AND YES I CALLED THIS MORNING AND LEFT THE MESSAGES...EASY MISTAKE AND NOW U ... IF I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU ...I SHOULD JUST SAY SO....WHAT THE FUCK....MICHEAL STOP THIS SHIT....U ALWAYS VERY UNPLEASANT ON YOUR VOICEMAILS...I IN RETURN GIVE U SWEET KIND VOICEMAILS...AND NOW I GET MY HEAD CHEWED OFF BY YOU....AND U WONDER WHY I JUST SCREAM AT YOU AND HUNG UP......IM SO TIRED OF UGLY VOICEMAILS I DONT DISSERVE THIS...I HAVE TAKEN IT UP TIL NOW...I HAVE GONE OUT OF MY WAY FOR YOU AS BEST AS I CAN...I JUST GAVE U MONEY FOR A PO BOX...AND I GET TREATED LIKE THIS FOR YOUR BULLSHIT....I FIGURED YOU DIDNT HAVE TIME TO CALL THESE LAST TWO DAYS...SO I GAVE U SPACE...BUT NO...NOW U GOING OFF HALF COCKED....THAT I AINT LOVING YOU FOREVER...AND I LIED TO YOU....WAKE THE FUCK UP MIKE....IVE DONE NOTHING WRONG...I EVEN HAVE THE RESPECT FOR YOU NOT TO CALL YOU IN THE MORNING SINCE YOU DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE...AND THATS ALL I WANT TO DO..CUZ IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU...THANKS MIKE...THANKS FOR EVERYTHING...U SURE KNOW HOW TO HURT A GIRLS FEELINGS....
SO THATS MY DAY FOR 2DAY....LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE PEOPLE...STOP THIS BULLSHIT....IM TIRED OF BEING NICE...TIME FOR ME TO ..................................WELL U DONT WANT TO ASK ME RIGHT ABOUT NOW..IM WILLING TO SAY ANYTHING AT THIS POINT AND IT ANIT PRETTY.............................WHATEVA...MICHEAL...
Thursday, October 6, 2011
crap...........
its day 6..in october...and i just realized that im on year four of my blogs...well this blog....a book in the making..........i have a few things to get off my chest....but....i stewing.....so give me a second....i get at it....later..im out
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
MY BOOKIE
MY SWEET BOOKIE IS AND WILL BE HOMELESS AS OF TONIGHT....AS PEPS SHIT ON HIM...IM TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP HIM GOING WITHOUT FALLING APART...I THINK HE SEE ITS BUT HE STILL SUFFERS.....GETTING SHIT ON......
I SEE THAT I BEEN THRU ALOT OF SHIT MYSELF IN LIFE...WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE HIS TURN AND MY TURN....TO START DOING WHAT WE WANT AND HOW WE WILL BE TREATED...I KEEP TELLING ME....BULLSHIT THESE LAST 50 YEARS WAS ENOUGH...AND 52 IS COMING AROUND THE CORNER IN MONTHS.... I PROMISED MYSELF...THAT BULLSHIT WOULD STOP....DAMN IT...STOP FUCKING WITH THE FUCKEE MAN...
I WANT TO DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT...I WANT MY BOOKIE TO BE OK.....AND GET HIS LIFE TO A POINT OF HAPPINESS.... AND DO WHAT HE WANTS AND FUCK THE REST....I CANT STAND ASSWIPES FROM FRIENDS AND OR FAMILY....OR JUST IDIOTS....
THERES A TIME AND A PLACE FOR THIS SHIT....
SO SWEET BOOKIE....HOLD ON...BOO....MAMA TRYING.....JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE....LOVE U...ALWAYS....
I SEE THAT I BEEN THRU ALOT OF SHIT MYSELF IN LIFE...WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE HIS TURN AND MY TURN....TO START DOING WHAT WE WANT AND HOW WE WILL BE TREATED...I KEEP TELLING ME....BULLSHIT THESE LAST 50 YEARS WAS ENOUGH...AND 52 IS COMING AROUND THE CORNER IN MONTHS.... I PROMISED MYSELF...THAT BULLSHIT WOULD STOP....DAMN IT...STOP FUCKING WITH THE FUCKEE MAN...
I WANT TO DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT...I WANT MY BOOKIE TO BE OK.....AND GET HIS LIFE TO A POINT OF HAPPINESS.... AND DO WHAT HE WANTS AND FUCK THE REST....I CANT STAND ASSWIPES FROM FRIENDS AND OR FAMILY....OR JUST IDIOTS....
THERES A TIME AND A PLACE FOR THIS SHIT....
SO SWEET BOOKIE....HOLD ON...BOO....MAMA TRYING.....JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE....LOVE U...ALWAYS....
WAKE UP BONBON
AS OLD AS MY ASS IS...U THINK I WOULD LET MYSELF BE TAKEN OVER BY RULES OF OTHER PEOPLE...WHEN IT COMES TO WHO I AM.....
IM KIND...LOVEABLE..UNDERSTANDING...HELPING OUT..KNOW WHAT MY JOB IS ....AND I PLEASE THAT PERSON...BUT I DONT STAND UP FOR ME...I LET OTHERS DO AND SAY OF WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR THEM....I NEED TO START FOR ME...THAT I WOULD OR I THINK I COULD...I WOULD LIKE TO...CAN I.....I HOPE TODAY IS THAT DAY...I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO MAN UP...AND GET SOME THINGS CLEARED....THAT I WILL NOT BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS....
GEE US BONNIE...WAKE THE FUCK UP...GIRL...ALMOST 52 YEARS OLD...AND I STILL DO FOR OTHERS...BUT NOT FOR ME.....I NEED SOME BALLS....SHIT THE BIG ONES ON MY CHEST ANIT HELPING..(since they in my way) .....SO...BON BON.....GET YOUR SHIT STRAIAGHT ON YOU...MY JOB AND MY LIFE....KICK ASS BITCH...THATS WHAT IM SUPPOSE TO DO............U DIGG...............note to self...LOL............
IM KIND...LOVEABLE..UNDERSTANDING...HELPING OUT..KNOW WHAT MY JOB IS ....AND I PLEASE THAT PERSON...BUT I DONT STAND UP FOR ME...I LET OTHERS DO AND SAY OF WHAT I NEED TO DO FOR THEM....I NEED TO START FOR ME...THAT I WOULD OR I THINK I COULD...I WOULD LIKE TO...CAN I.....I HOPE TODAY IS THAT DAY...I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO MAN UP...AND GET SOME THINGS CLEARED....THAT I WILL NOT BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BY OTHERS....
GEE US BONNIE...WAKE THE FUCK UP...GIRL...ALMOST 52 YEARS OLD...AND I STILL DO FOR OTHERS...BUT NOT FOR ME.....I NEED SOME BALLS....SHIT THE BIG ONES ON MY CHEST ANIT HELPING..(since they in my way) .....SO...BON BON.....GET YOUR SHIT STRAIAGHT ON YOU...MY JOB AND MY LIFE....KICK ASS BITCH...THATS WHAT IM SUPPOSE TO DO............U DIGG...............note to self...LOL............
Monday, September 26, 2011
a good wkend...
had my grandbabies the whole wkend...and will will bday...pics up later... and i hope i get that damn wedding ring out of the sink....i had to call manitance to fish it out....oh well pics up later..........
Thursday, September 22, 2011
HAPPY 16TH WILL WILL..
16YRS AGO...I MARRIED MY MAN...WILLIE...LOVE U WILL WILL...THANKS FOR LETTIN ME BE ME....AS ALWAYS...LOVE U BITCH....
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
GRANNY ALERT.......
I GET TO HAVE MY GRANDCHILDREN FOR THE WKEND....THIS WKEND...I MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO SEE THEM...IM GOING TO DO THIS ONCE A MONTH...I CANT WAIT TO SEE THEM...I GET ALL THREE OF THEM....WOOHOO.......YEAH..............LOVE U KEKE...LOVE U LAYLAY..LOVE U MACKERS....HUG HUG..KISS KISS
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
she is going to let me see the...........
grandchildren...all three of them...and im going to set the boundaries to once a month/weekend.....so that i can do...yesterday i dropped off the bday card for keke monsters...and as the girls were running to me...they were crying and i picked them both up...into my arms.....i see what they want....to be with granny...and i cant do that just yet.....i know they yearn for that....i can only imagine what they are going thru...but granny as to sit and wait....im asking for next wkend for the girls and mac man.....him talking...he so cute...... needs to go....later..
BIRTHDAY GIRL.......
OK OK OK...............
CLEARED A FEW THINGS TONIGHT...EVERYTHING IS BACK ON TRACK....BUT I DO FEEL BAD...THAT HIM GOING THRU SOME STUFF....HE GOT TO SEE THE KIDS FOR ONE WK....AND HIM KICKING HIMSELF FOR GETTING SET UP WITH THE EX TO BE HURT AGAIN AND NOW HE CANT SEE THE KIDS AGAIN...SO HE DONE...THEN HIS BRO..IS ENDING UP MOVING UP NORTH OF IL BUT WILL MAKE THE DRIVE TO WORK AT DOWNERS SOUTH...REALLY...HE MOVING IN WITH THIS GIRL HE BEEN SEEING FOR 2+ YRS...AND NOW BE HAS NO WHERE TO GO...SO...ALL THIS HAPPEN THIS WK...AND WE WERE BITCHIN AT EACH OTHER ALL DAY...
SO HE IS FINALLY OPENING UP TO ME...MORE EACH DAY...BUT AS I RECALL LAST YR WHEN WE STARTED TALKING ON THE PHONE...WE WERE HITTIN AND MISSIN ABOUT STUFF AND I OPENED UP TO HIM...AND I WAS WAITING ON HIM TO OPENED UP TO ME...AND IN THESE LAST SUMMER MONTHS AND WE CHATTING 6/7 TIMES ADAY...HE STARTED TO TELL ME THINGS...HE HAS AN ISSUE OF TRUST..I TOLD HIM I UNDERSTAND THAT...BEEN THERE DONE THAT....I'D ASSURED HIM..HE COULD TRUST ME....HE HAS HAD IT HARD IN LIFE... AND ME NOT ALL INTO GOD 24/7 I TOLD HIM...TO STOP TALKING ABOUT LETTING LIFE GO...AND EVERYBODY IS SHITTIN ON HIM...THAT GOD HAS AT SOME POINT PUT US TOGETHER AS FRIENDS THAT HAVE LOST TOUCH AND LET 22 YRS APART FROM EACH OTHER...AND BEING THE GOOD PERSON AS I AM...CARING..LOVING..UNDERSTANDING...BEEN THERE DONE THAT EXPERIENCE OF LIFE...THAT WE CAN LIVE OURS LIFE AND HAVE FUN WHILE DOING IT...TO BE TREATED WITH TLC AND RESPECT....I LITERALLY LOVE THIS MAN...THIS BOY...THIS BLUEEYED BABY...THAT I LAYED MY EYES ON..WHEN I WAS 18...
I WILL WAIT AS LONG AS IT TAKES...THIS RECESSION NEEDS TO GO...JOBS NEED TO BE OUT THERE EVERYWHERE...THANK GOD HE HAS A JOB..BUT HE CANT MOVE TO FL JUST YET...THATS OK...THINGS WILL HAPPEN....
SO WE ENDED THE DAY....AND EXPRESSED OUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER...AND THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER....HE TOOK CONTROL TONIGHT TOLD ME TO SETTLED DOWN...OH....LOVE IT WHEN A MAN TELLS ME...THAT....I NEED THAT BE....THANKS BOO....LOL...........I LIKE THAT.... I LOVE YOU BE...........................LOVE LADY B.........................
SO HE IS FINALLY OPENING UP TO ME...MORE EACH DAY...BUT AS I RECALL LAST YR WHEN WE STARTED TALKING ON THE PHONE...WE WERE HITTIN AND MISSIN ABOUT STUFF AND I OPENED UP TO HIM...AND I WAS WAITING ON HIM TO OPENED UP TO ME...AND IN THESE LAST SUMMER MONTHS AND WE CHATTING 6/7 TIMES ADAY...HE STARTED TO TELL ME THINGS...HE HAS AN ISSUE OF TRUST..I TOLD HIM I UNDERSTAND THAT...BEEN THERE DONE THAT....I'D ASSURED HIM..HE COULD TRUST ME....HE HAS HAD IT HARD IN LIFE... AND ME NOT ALL INTO GOD 24/7 I TOLD HIM...TO STOP TALKING ABOUT LETTING LIFE GO...AND EVERYBODY IS SHITTIN ON HIM...THAT GOD HAS AT SOME POINT PUT US TOGETHER AS FRIENDS THAT HAVE LOST TOUCH AND LET 22 YRS APART FROM EACH OTHER...AND BEING THE GOOD PERSON AS I AM...CARING..LOVING..UNDERSTANDING...BEEN THERE DONE THAT EXPERIENCE OF LIFE...THAT WE CAN LIVE OURS LIFE AND HAVE FUN WHILE DOING IT...TO BE TREATED WITH TLC AND RESPECT....I LITERALLY LOVE THIS MAN...THIS BOY...THIS BLUEEYED BABY...THAT I LAYED MY EYES ON..WHEN I WAS 18...
I WILL WAIT AS LONG AS IT TAKES...THIS RECESSION NEEDS TO GO...JOBS NEED TO BE OUT THERE EVERYWHERE...THANK GOD HE HAS A JOB..BUT HE CANT MOVE TO FL JUST YET...THATS OK...THINGS WILL HAPPEN....
SO WE ENDED THE DAY....AND EXPRESSED OUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER...AND THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER....HE TOOK CONTROL TONIGHT TOLD ME TO SETTLED DOWN...OH....LOVE IT WHEN A MAN TELLS ME...THAT....I NEED THAT BE....THANKS BOO....LOL...........I LIKE THAT.... I LOVE YOU BE...........................LOVE LADY B.........................
Friday, September 16, 2011
cry baby...
he cant handle anything...and he is falling apart...and just compared me...to his bitch....and all these family and or idiots treat him like shit....and i been listening...and im losing a fighting battle...wow....him crying...i said that twice to him already...and he hangs up the phone...really............REALLY............a boy...who has nothing had something..and he just dont see it....a scared little boy....and im a bitch............................
YOU DAMN SKIPPY IM A BITCH...IM A BITCH THAT SAYS THE TRUTH..NOT BULLSHIT...BUT THE TRUTH....so u cant see that....WHATEVA...........................................
little boy red....doesnt have a bed.... and he doenst knowwhat to do....and he hasnt no clue......to bad..so sad....
YOU DAMN SKIPPY IM A BITCH...IM A BITCH THAT SAYS THE TRUTH..NOT BULLSHIT...BUT THE TRUTH....so u cant see that....WHATEVA...........................................
little boy red....doesnt have a bed.... and he doenst knowwhat to do....and he hasnt no clue......to bad..so sad....
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
why im i going thru this...
again...im not sleeping...and i swear...this menopause shit is for the birds...going on year 4 with this crap.....can we just get over with this shit please....stop kickin my ass............days away before my sweet granddaughter keosha turns six....now to date its been 2months since i saw her last....but...anit dealing with that damn daughter of mine...dont have time for bullshit....so i can wait so see my grandchildren....anywho...i needs to get ready for work...later...sweets out
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
deep discussion
with be....i got to support him with his descison when he sees his kids...he hasnt seen them in nine years and today he saw them...the youngest is his namesake...awwwwwwwwwwww...he is going to make the effort to see the kids...he is setting boundaries with the wife...on no certain terms ...that they are over.....i gave him advice...and i listen and was supportive with him...as he is with me...i got this be...its cool.........lady b
having a true friend...
a male one at that...that happens to be my therapist...thanks for being there for me...friend to the end...
the best mom award goes to...............................
Mother, You had Me I never had you
I wanted you but you didn't want me
So I got to tell you
Goodbye , Goodbye
john lennon.....
why u still here bitch....u needs to be gone....dedicated..to carole chilvers dallner cotner.....
I wanted you but you didn't want me
So I got to tell you
Goodbye , Goodbye
john lennon.....
why u still here bitch....u needs to be gone....dedicated..to carole chilvers dallner cotner.....
well.....things are getting done..
i did some touch ups and rearranging my blog pages...and put counters on all of them....and trying to get them viral ...so...starting that....laying off fb for a minute....only gonna twit and blog for a minute....fed up with alot...lately...dont got time for bull shit....so...if im lettin or cuttin lose...so be it....
SWEETS DONT LIKE BULLSHIT....SWEETS GOING TO GIVE OUT BULLSHIT....
U DIG................
IM OUT...
LATER............
SWEETS DONT LIKE BULLSHIT....SWEETS GOING TO GIVE OUT BULLSHIT....
U DIG................
IM OUT...
LATER............
LESS THAN A MONTH...
GOING ON YEAR 4 OF BLOGGIN.....AND SURPASSING MY BLOG COUNTS ON THIS BLOG ALONE...PLUS THE OTHER FOUR BLOGS IM BLOGGIN ABOUT...IF I COUNTED....NEAR 700...CRAP I NEED A COUNTER ON ALL OF THEM....MY TASK FOR THIS WKEND..LATER..SWEETS IS TIRED AND SIGNING OFF.....GIVING FB A REST .....
Friday, September 9, 2011
BITE ME BITCHES.....
REALLY.....JACK ASSES OF ALL KINDS....ALL FOUR OF THEM...GIVING ME ATTITUDE.....WHATEVA BITCHES....TAKE YOUR MAN SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE.....
Thursday, September 8, 2011
GEE US...................IM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL
....DO NOT PASS GO...DO NOT COLLECT $200.00.....JUST GIMME GIMME....GIMME FRIED CHICKEN....
I WANT IT...AND I WANT IT NOW..............YOUR MY BEST FRIEND....I FOUND ME SOMEBODY TO LOVE.....
THIS GIRL IS IN LOVE...............................REALLY....IN LOVE..............................HE HAS KICKSTART MY HEART.......AND CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT...... DAMN ...IM A AMERICAN BAD ASS................GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL....IDGAF......................LADY B...LOVES HER BE......HURRY DOWN HERE SLUT....TAKE CARE OF THIS MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN........
HAVE IVE GONE OFF MY ROCKER....SURE DID....LOVE IT......LATER....IM OUT....
I WANT IT...AND I WANT IT NOW..............YOUR MY BEST FRIEND....I FOUND ME SOMEBODY TO LOVE.....
THIS GIRL IS IN LOVE...............................REALLY....IN LOVE..............................HE HAS KICKSTART MY HEART.......AND CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT...... DAMN ...IM A AMERICAN BAD ASS................GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL....IDGAF......................LADY B...LOVES HER BE......HURRY DOWN HERE SLUT....TAKE CARE OF THIS MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN........
HAVE IVE GONE OFF MY ROCKER....SURE DID....LOVE IT......LATER....IM OUT....
SMILE.............:)
I LOVE YOU....HE TELLS ME....JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR.....LOVE U TO BE.........
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
9 HOTT DAMN IM ON CLOUD NINE 9
HE ASKS...HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM....I SAID SINCE I WAS 18... HE ASKED ME TONIGHT WHEN HE CALLED ME...BY THE WAY....LOL....SO.....YESTERDAY..I SEND HIM AN EMAIL...WHAT I WANTED THE MOST...FROM...HIM......I TOLD HIM THE ANSWER TODAY....WHICH WAS....A KISS....NOT THE TWO KISSES I GAVE HIM ON THE RIGHT CHEEK IN 1988/2010....BUT I WANT A KISS...NOT NO PECK EITHER BITCH...LOL......GEEUS IM GOING TO HELL.....LOL.....................
DID U TELL SO IN SO BACK THEN IN 78.. THAT I LIKE HIM..OR WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM....I SURE DID....LOL.............AND WHEN SO IN SO WAS AT FINLEY SQUARE...SHE TOLD HIM..I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM......SO....SOMEBODY....NEEDS TO GO TO HER GRAVE...HIM....AND SAY....U TOLD ME SO...LOL...............
TO BE IN LOVE...AND HAVE HIM ON MY MIND ALL THIS TIME....AND WHEN WE LOST CONTACT....WOW....2010 WAS A SHITTY YEAR FOR ME....BUT THOSE 5 DAYS IN CHICAGO...AND THE LAST DAY BEFORE I LEFT TO COME HOME TO FLA...I GAVE HIM THAT KISS ON HIS CHEEK THAT SATURDAY BEFORE EASTER...WOW.....
NOW...WE TALKING 5 TIMES A DAY ON THE CELL...LOVE IT...THIS BOY GOT ME SO GIDDY AND SMILING....I LOVE U BE.....AND BE LOVES BE...ME LIKE....NOW GIVE ME THAT KISS BITCH...WHEN U GET DOWN HERE....LOL....................
DID U TELL SO IN SO BACK THEN IN 78.. THAT I LIKE HIM..OR WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM....I SURE DID....LOL.............AND WHEN SO IN SO WAS AT FINLEY SQUARE...SHE TOLD HIM..I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM......SO....SOMEBODY....NEEDS TO GO TO HER GRAVE...HIM....AND SAY....U TOLD ME SO...LOL...............
TO BE IN LOVE...AND HAVE HIM ON MY MIND ALL THIS TIME....AND WHEN WE LOST CONTACT....WOW....2010 WAS A SHITTY YEAR FOR ME....BUT THOSE 5 DAYS IN CHICAGO...AND THE LAST DAY BEFORE I LEFT TO COME HOME TO FLA...I GAVE HIM THAT KISS ON HIS CHEEK THAT SATURDAY BEFORE EASTER...WOW.....
NOW...WE TALKING 5 TIMES A DAY ON THE CELL...LOVE IT...THIS BOY GOT ME SO GIDDY AND SMILING....I LOVE U BE.....AND BE LOVES BE...ME LIKE....NOW GIVE ME THAT KISS BITCH...WHEN U GET DOWN HERE....LOL....................
my twin to the ends birthday...
in 11 days...my sweet granddaughter...keosha...aka keke monsters will be turning six....i wish i could be there for you....but all i can do is send u a card....i love u twin....my exeact carbon copy of me....granny....love u keke monsters...always and forever......always in my heart....
Monday, September 5, 2011
LOOKING AHEAD..
DAY DREAMING.....WAITING FOR THE DAY....WAITING FOR WHAT COMES NEXT....WAITING FOR THAT FIRST..... THAT FIRST......LITRALLY WAITING...
Sunday, September 4, 2011
LOOKY WHAT I FOUND AND.........................
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FIRST BORN SON
Thursday, September 1, 2011
HOW DO I SAY THIS....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK......
IM REALLY GOING TO LET IT RIPPED....READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
i guess im playing this wife thing to much....at this point...im done being a wife....as i look back on my life...i really didnt have a hectic life with men in my life....i had a total of 6/7 boyfriends in life...#3/4/7 i had my children...and only married #7..4 tryed to marry me..but who wants to marry an alcholic(gee my father was one) i never gave in on 4...yrs later he tells me he wanted more kids from me..thank god i gave him one....not in this life time...lol...REALLY....IM A MATERIAL GIRL.....LOL.......
i never did that scene screwing men...like these bitches today.... bitches screwing and drinking and drugging...and licking dick and pussys...come on....THERE ARE WOMEN...that are not that way....IM A GROWN ASS WOMAN........
so i married ...big deal....ive gotten so strong as a woman...this man doesnt make me cry....he makes me MAD...AND PISSED AND ANGRY....i took him for who he is.....he needed someone to take care of him....shit his family didnt...his mama still dont like me...(its black/white thing)....his daddy side of the family acceptted me and one of his brothers asked me would i take care of him...yes i will...yes i am....
but as 16 yrs of marriage...together for 17...im done with the marriage part of it....i will still take care of him...he just going to sleep and live in his son's room...since i have a masterbathroom and bedroom....i live in my room like i do anyways.....
i know he is getting old...and im sure he is tired of me.....lately when im bitchin... he is ignoring me big time....doesnt answer me...he has played this sick card shit with me...when i would ask him to do something for me or for his kid...and he dont feel good all of a sudden...so...fuck it..fuck him.....he really thinks he is a macho man...acting tough and all that....so he works a 3 hour job...that he makes a 6 hour job out of....plus he has fucked that up....if i anit bitchin on that....how do u fuck up vaccuming...sweep/mop and dust and bathrooms....it has been done...ive seen it with my own eyes....
so i may take care of him....but im going to do what the fuck i want.....i know that....this bitch cant be tied down....this marriage thing is for the birds....i may be a decent woman...and i take care of my family...but i dont have to live a life without love...kindness and caring....since 2007 that thing is dead.....and 2011 is here almost gone...but...THINGS CAN HAPPEN....IM JUST SAYING....MAMA...making plans ....and going after what she wants...................
so....living my life...he just eats sleeps and works...he has the eating down part and the sleeping part...but thats his life....get over it all ready....so what...you gave your life to that damn job...for 25 yrs and they still fucked u.....so now u just want to be lazy as fuck dont take care of your son and wife...thats ok....u pay the rent....i take care of the rest...and his job now just pays the rent...exactlly the rent...i rent for 750.00 and he brings home 511.00....we poor as fuck...but...i take care of his ass ...others in this family didnt...at least i gave my man a life of luxury....meaning showing him a better life then what he was use too....which was nothing .. i least i brang him out of the project....and got him to the better half of the town we live in...so...we may be married....we have a beautiful son...but...my job is done as a wife....im still as independent since i was 18...i take care of things...my kids...that husband...but...now its MAMA'S turn to live life....and do for herself...and let things happen for a fucntional happy life...i anit going to dicvorce my husband..im not that cruel...i will take care of him...thats my job....so its an OPEN MARRIAGE...IM GOING TO HELL...AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK...LIVIN LIFE TO THE FULLEST....THIS IS SWEETS....AKA BUTTERBALLBABY....THIS BITCH IS FREE AS FUCK....GO GET IT LADY B........
i guess im playing this wife thing to much....at this point...im done being a wife....as i look back on my life...i really didnt have a hectic life with men in my life....i had a total of 6/7 boyfriends in life...#3/4/7 i had my children...and only married #7..4 tryed to marry me..but who wants to marry an alcholic(gee my father was one) i never gave in on 4...yrs later he tells me he wanted more kids from me..thank god i gave him one....not in this life time...lol...REALLY....IM A MATERIAL GIRL.....LOL.......
i never did that scene screwing men...like these bitches today.... bitches screwing and drinking and drugging...and licking dick and pussys...come on....THERE ARE WOMEN...that are not that way....IM A GROWN ASS WOMAN........
so i married ...big deal....ive gotten so strong as a woman...this man doesnt make me cry....he makes me MAD...AND PISSED AND ANGRY....i took him for who he is.....he needed someone to take care of him....shit his family didnt...his mama still dont like me...(its black/white thing)....his daddy side of the family acceptted me and one of his brothers asked me would i take care of him...yes i will...yes i am....
but as 16 yrs of marriage...together for 17...im done with the marriage part of it....i will still take care of him...he just going to sleep and live in his son's room...since i have a masterbathroom and bedroom....i live in my room like i do anyways.....
i know he is getting old...and im sure he is tired of me.....lately when im bitchin... he is ignoring me big time....doesnt answer me...he has played this sick card shit with me...when i would ask him to do something for me or for his kid...and he dont feel good all of a sudden...so...fuck it..fuck him.....he really thinks he is a macho man...acting tough and all that....so he works a 3 hour job...that he makes a 6 hour job out of....plus he has fucked that up....if i anit bitchin on that....how do u fuck up vaccuming...sweep/mop and dust and bathrooms....it has been done...ive seen it with my own eyes....
so i may take care of him....but im going to do what the fuck i want.....i know that....this bitch cant be tied down....this marriage thing is for the birds....i may be a decent woman...and i take care of my family...but i dont have to live a life without love...kindness and caring....since 2007 that thing is dead.....and 2011 is here almost gone...but...THINGS CAN HAPPEN....IM JUST SAYING....MAMA...making plans ....and going after what she wants...................
so....living my life...he just eats sleeps and works...he has the eating down part and the sleeping part...but thats his life....get over it all ready....so what...you gave your life to that damn job...for 25 yrs and they still fucked u.....so now u just want to be lazy as fuck dont take care of your son and wife...thats ok....u pay the rent....i take care of the rest...and his job now just pays the rent...exactlly the rent...i rent for 750.00 and he brings home 511.00....we poor as fuck...but...i take care of his ass ...others in this family didnt...at least i gave my man a life of luxury....meaning showing him a better life then what he was use too....which was nothing .. i least i brang him out of the project....and got him to the better half of the town we live in...so...we may be married....we have a beautiful son...but...my job is done as a wife....im still as independent since i was 18...i take care of things...my kids...that husband...but...now its MAMA'S turn to live life....and do for herself...and let things happen for a fucntional happy life...i anit going to dicvorce my husband..im not that cruel...i will take care of him...thats my job....so its an OPEN MARRIAGE...IM GOING TO HELL...AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK...LIVIN LIFE TO THE FULLEST....THIS IS SWEETS....AKA BUTTERBALLBABY....THIS BITCH IS FREE AS FUCK....GO GET IT LADY B........
IM FREE....
IM FREE...FOR ME...IM FREE....YES ME.....IM FREE...YES BE....FOR ME....
HOTT DIGGTY DAMN....NEW LIFE....STARTS NOW....
HOTT DIGGTY DAMN....NEW LIFE....STARTS NOW....
Sunday, August 28, 2011
productive....
today i did my friends resume and cover letters....for job prospects here in fl....
nothing on tv ....as usual....doing jack.....bored as hell...tired as hell...did get to sleep for 8 hours last night..that was a relief....anywho...im out..im gone..later....sweets out.........
nothing on tv ....as usual....doing jack.....bored as hell...tired as hell...did get to sleep for 8 hours last night..that was a relief....anywho...im out..im gone..later....sweets out.........
Monday, August 22, 2011
STARTED...
MY EXERCISE...AND WALKING....WHILE IM AT WORK....BABY YVAN....IN THE STROLLER...MS.BONNIE...GOING AT IT HARD.....ITS TIME.....ANYWHO....SWEETS IS CKING OUT...LATER BITCHES....LOL,............................
thinking about my grands....
today was the first day of school...my gunther is now a sophmore in hs....and my granddaughters...the MERMAID GIRLS TO.....PASSION IS GOING INTO FIRST GRADE...AND KEOSHA...MY TWIN TO THE END...BIG GIRL IS STARTING KINDERGARTEN...IM SAD..THAT I DONT GET TO SEE THEM...NOW THAT she has her kids back from fostercare....THAT I WOULD OF LOVE TO SUPPORT MY KEKE MONSTERS TO KINDERGARTEN...BUT...GOTTA KEEP GOING...IT I DONT GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN..ITS OK...she will answer to somebody....LOVE U LAYLAY MAMA...AND KEKE MONSTERS...LOVE U MACK MAN...LOVE GRANNY.....
Sunday, August 21, 2011
SO SORRY IM SLOW....
JUST WOKE UP...IM GOING TO DO EXTREME COUPONING....AND BOGO....U THINK...WOW...WENT TO THE NEXT TOWN OVER..TO BRANDON FL TO GET THE TAMPA TRIBUNE...THEY HAVE GOOD COUPONS AND FOUND MY LARGE DRINK FOR 69 CENTS AT CIRCLE K....SO I GUESS EVERY SUNDAY I WILL DO THAT...AND IM PRINTING COUPONS OFFLINE...THATS GOOD....IM GOING TO SEE IF THIS PAYS OFF...SINCE THIS DAMN RECESSION WE IN...I CANT AFFORD FOOD.....SO...I KEEP UPDATES....
Saturday, August 20, 2011
my eyes wide open.....
WAKE THE FUCK UP BONNIE........i am...i anit taking the rejection crap from him again....man i dont want me to go off on you....(hubby)...man i just so f en pissed...on how i really feel....i just put seperated on fb...yes he is here in the house...i just ignored him...im literally tired of this bullshit...works a three hour job...eat sleep and work in that order...and u have to sleep for 21hours...whatever....now that im working a 9/5job and bringing more money in the house...(under the table at that)...im just going to pay the bills...and start saving moneys and taking care of me....they both have shelter, food and clothes...im done....thank god my boy is 16 can feed himself...im done...
so...i know what i have to do...i kinda of said what i needed to say to be..about this situation with the hub...but give me a minute...cuz once i express this on my blog....i will be at that IDGAF ATTITUDE....so im going breathe for a minute...and let it ripped...........
so...i know what i have to do...i kinda of said what i needed to say to be..about this situation with the hub...but give me a minute...cuz once i express this on my blog....i will be at that IDGAF ATTITUDE....so im going breathe for a minute...and let it ripped...........
Friday, August 19, 2011
holy bat crap..........
IM GOING TO HELL...AND IDGAF.......LIVING LIFE...TO ITS FULLEST...GETTIN INTO MAYHEM....CANT TIE THIS BIOTHCH DOWN....IM DOING ME FOR ONCE...LOOKING TOWARDS MY BE...LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT...
FUNNY HOW LIFE HANDS US...WHAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE...THAT LOOK...OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT...AND ITS COMING BACK INTO PLAY.......LADY B...IS HAPPY AND GIDDY AT THE MOMENT....SO IF IM GOING TO HELL...WHO WANTS TO COME...SHIT...WE ARE ON HELL..LOL...................SO IDGAF....................LATER BITCHES....LADY B IS WAITIN...
FUNNY HOW LIFE HANDS US...WHAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE...THAT LOOK...OF LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT...AND ITS COMING BACK INTO PLAY.......LADY B...IS HAPPY AND GIDDY AT THE MOMENT....SO IF IM GOING TO HELL...WHO WANTS TO COME...SHIT...WE ARE ON HELL..LOL...................SO IDGAF....................LATER BITCHES....LADY B IS WAITIN...
Thursday, August 18, 2011
holy batman....
it was a good time last night on the phone....even if it was for 10minutes...got alot said in that amount of time...serious talk at that....lol..............love it...wow..............
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
a thought...
last night catching up on my dvr programming....and i was watching ryan and tatum oneal on own ....and he said the light of our children is our life...and why do they hurt you....talking about tears...he hit it on the spot....knowing my daughter has done that to me...WOW....sucks man.......
on to other thoughts.....my friend is down and discouraged....about life....i said....wake up...open your heart ...open your mind...somebody...loves you and cares...when i think about it....i haved lived a rough life...and go thru bullshit....with kids...family....and i have learned to let go..and walk away....as life passes us...im trying to get thru to him...and he made me cry...its ok....a friend is til the end....let it happen....love u be...lets get crazy....lets get nuts.....dont worry..be happy....smile...somebody loves you....ME..........IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING.....OFF.................................................<3
on to other thoughts.....my friend is down and discouraged....about life....i said....wake up...open your heart ...open your mind...somebody...loves you and cares...when i think about it....i haved lived a rough life...and go thru bullshit....with kids...family....and i have learned to let go..and walk away....as life passes us...im trying to get thru to him...and he made me cry...its ok....a friend is til the end....let it happen....love u be...lets get crazy....lets get nuts.....dont worry..be happy....smile...somebody loves you....ME..........IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING.....OFF.................................................<3
Sunday, August 14, 2011
would like comments on my blogs
PEOPLE...I CAN HANDLE IT.. HAVE YOU.....to any readers out there..hittin my links...this bitch is rollin....aka sweets..im out
so i expressed my recent blog
below...i wrote a six page letter to jaz...whatever happens...happens..but..its on her..i hope she can prove me wrong...but im glad...i said what i said and gave her an outlet...if she cant do it..let me take care of them...and she can do her own thing...she really isnt cut out to take care of them...but its ok....
my last attempt to my daughter......
JAZ….
HERE ARE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES FOR THE BABIES…AND THERE SOCIAL SECTURITYS CARDS…
NOW…A FEW THINGS I NEED TO SAY FOR THE LAST TIME…THOSE TWO WKS OF CHAOS WAS ENOUGH…I LISTEN… I WAS HAPPY TO HAVE MY GRANDGIRLS AND WAS SO IMPRESS WITH MACKERS… THIS LAST YEAR WHERE I JUST STOPPED COMMUNICATION AND CUT ALL TIES… WAS A GOOD THING…ONE..MS.BEVERELY SUGGESTED THAT…SO I DID…LITERALLY STEPPED DOWN…MY STRESS FACTOR IS GONE…I HAD RESPONSABILTYS TO GUNTHER AND WILLIE…I WASN’T TAKING CARE OF THEM LIKE IT WAS..BEFORE THE GRANDS..I HAVE FOUCS ON GUNNY AND HE HAS SHINED HIS FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL…NO ESE AT THE MOMENT AND THAT IS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW..HE HAS A DREAM AND I WILL STAND BEHIND HIM TIL HE WALKS ACROSS THAT STAGE…AND I WANT TO SEE THAT…I FELT I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY SON AND WILL WILL BECAUSE I WAS TENDING TO YOU…MOST OF ALL I SHOULD OF STOPPED TENDING TO YOU WHEN U TURN 18..MAYBE THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER OUTLOOK BETWEEN YOU AND ME..
I HAVE BENT OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU…I WAS THERE FOR YOU..I WAS THERE FOR THE GRANDS FROM DAY ONE…I LET YOU DESTORY MY APARTMENTS I GAVE YOU A CUSHION.. I GAVE U A HOME.. FOR YOU AND THE BABIES…BUT…I LET YOU..YELL AND CUSS ME..I LET YOU DISRESPECT ME AND MY HOME…I MUST BE THE MOST GULLABLE MOTHER OF ALL TIMES…I DIDN’T LET YOU FALL FLAT ON YOUR ASS…I KEPT TAKING U IN…CUZ U KNOW HOW TO MANIULATE ME..I LOVE U MOMMY…AND I FELL FOR IT…SO IF I KICKED YOU OUT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE U FALL…NOT FAIL…BUT FALL…I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING..INCLUDING RESPECT…YOU TOOK YOUR LIFE AT 13 AND STARTED RUNNING AND U BEEN RUNNING SINCE…YOU ARE STUCK IN THIS ALL ABOUT ME GENERATION…AND IT ANIT ABOUT YOU…YOU HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN(ITS ALL ABOUT THEM).. AND U HAVENT SHOWED THEM ANY STABLE ENIVORMENT YET…U NEVERED FINISHED SCHOOL…U DON’T HAVE A JOB…YOU DON’T HAVE A HOME FOR THEM..U DON’T HAVE MONEY..YOU DON’T HAVE A CAR…THESE ARE THINGS THAT U NEED TO HAVE…TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY…U MADE THAT DESCION WHEN U STARTED RUNNING AT 13..YOU MAY BE BLAMING ME FOR THAT…BUT U CANT…U RAN…I LET GO…I LET YOU COME IN ANT OUT OF MY LIFE…GIVING ME HAVIC….BECUZ I WAS A MOM..I FOLLOW ALONG WITH YOUR BULLSHIT…AND NOW U CANT HANDLE IT..CUZ IVE WALKED AWAY…FOR A WHOLE YEAR(AND U THINK BECUZ THAT HURTS YOU…NO..U HAVE HURTED ME) AND THAT TO ME IS A GOOD THING…I WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO YOUR BULL SHIT AND HOW U WANT TO RUNS THINGS…YOU ANIT IN CONTROL(YES IM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND WHO IS AROUND ME BUT I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU THAT I GUESS U DIDN’T GET THE MEMO)…. YOU ARE FLYING BY THE SEAT OF YOU PANTS WITH LIFE…THAT EVERYONE OWES YOU….
YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE GETTHO LIFE…KEEP ON..BUT YOUR CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING…THEY ARE NOT IN AN STABLE ENIRVOMENT…THEY BEEN IN FOSTERCARE…AND NOW A SHELTER…YOU BEEN THERE A WHOLE YEAR…AND WHAT I SEE…YOU THE SAME OLE JAZ…YOU HAVENT CHANGED…I WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING TO GET MY KIDS BACK..I WOULD OF TAKING ANYTHING TO TAKE THE PARENTING CLASSES THE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES…FROM DAY ONE WHEN THEY TOOK THE KIDS AND PUT THEM INTO FOSTERCARE…I WOULD OF BITCH SCREAM AND FOUGHT MY WAY TO GET MY KIDS OUT OF THE SYSTEM…THE MOMENT THEY WERE TAKEN…ITS 2011..I WOULD OF DONE ALL THINGS THAT THE COURT ASKED OF ME…AND WOULD OF DONE MORE OF WHAT THEY DIDN’T ASK OF YOU TO DO..TO GET THE KIDS BACK….THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A STURCTURE PLAN FOR YOU TO DO…A MOM WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING…
I SPENT MONEY FOR A LAWYER THAT DID NOTHING…I WOULD OF FOUGHT SO HARD…AND (YOU) SHOULD OF DEMANDED TO THE COURT AND THE STATE..FOR THEM TO BE WITH ME….YOU WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING FOR YOUR KIDS…BUT YOU LET IT GO…AND U HAD TO FOLLOW THERE RULES…BUT..U LIVE AND LEARN…THAT’S ON U…NOW U ALMOST HAVE THE KIDS…SO THE STATE WILL CLOSE THE CASE EVENTUALLY SO…GET IT DONE…AND GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE(DCF)…YOU OWE THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN…
I DIDN’T HAVE MY CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY…I TOOK AND TAKE CARED OF MY RESPONSABILITYS…AND I DID THAT FOR YOU TIL YOU WERE 29..NOW I WALKED AWAY AFTER TWO WKS…WHAT U CANT HANDLE IT…
NOW…I NEED TO SAY THIS ONE THING….I HAVE COME TO A CONSULION OF THIS…NOW IN MY LIFE…WHERE I CAN HANDLE THIS…WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY…….
ONE…GET YOUR KIDS BACK…(I STAYED OUT OF THIS FOR A REASON,FOR YOU TO GET THEM BACK)…(PLUS I THINK THAT U WOULD OF FIGURE THIS OUT WHY I STEPPED BACK FOR ALL THIS)...AT ANYTIME…AFTER THEY ARE OFFICALLY BACK WITH YOU 100%....
I CAN UNDERSTAND AND CAN ACCEPT THAT IF U CANT HANDLE BEING A MOM FOR ANY REASON…ITS OK…ITS OK FOR YOU TO DO WHAT U WANT TO DO..LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO…I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU.. I CAN LET IT GO….BUT IF YOU NEED ME TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS I WILL DO THAT…GIVE THEM A LIFE THAT IS STABLED…GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO ERASE WHAT AS BEEN DONE…AND GET THEM THRU THIS WITH CARING AND UNDERSTANDING SO THEY CAN BE SOMEBODY SOME DAY…ITS OK…FOR MY MOTHER TO LEAVE ME…OR A SISTER WHO LET ONE OF HERE KIDS GO..FOR ANOTHER SISTER TO WALK AWAY HER KIDS…ITS OK…I UNDERSTAND WHY MY SISTERS DID THAT.. BUT AS FOR MY OWN.. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY MOTHER WHY SHE WALKED AWAY FROM ME…I OVERCAME AND WENT BEYOND MY LIFE TO GET WHERE I AM TODAY…I HAVE FOUGHT FOR THIS LIFE…TO BE WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM…A STRONG OVER POWERING CONTROLLED MOTHER AND OR WOMAN…BE CUZ I DO AND GET WHAT I WANT…BY GOING AFTER IT…YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN…MORE STRONGER THAN ME..WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING YOUR OWN RULES AND LIVING THEM..YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK…I DON’T GIVE A FUCK..BUT I TEND TO HAVE THAT STUPID ASS RESOPNABILITY FACTOR IN MY ASS AT 200% MEANING I DO WHATS RIGHT I GUESS AS I LIVE LIFE…I MAY BITCH AND MOAN ..YOU KNOW I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…YOU ARE THERE MOTHER…BUT U CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE ON YOUR TERMS…JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF THEM..AND U DO YOUR THING…ITS OK JAZ…I UNDERSTAND…I GIVIN YOU AN OUTLET TO DO WHAT YOU WANT…BUT…I HOPE YOU CAN OVERCOME ALL THIS…AND PROVE ME WRONG…ANY THIS DOESN’T WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…ITS FUNNY THERE ARE DIFFERENT RULES WHEN YOU BECOME A GRANDPARENT…I THINK YOU MATURE ENOUGH AND GET A SECOND CHANCE TO RAISE KIDS DIFFERENT..BUT WITH ALL THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN OR BEEN DONE TO…I HOPE I DID OVERCOME MY UPBRINGING BETTER THAN IT WAS DONE UPON ME.. I KNOW I DID A BETTER JOB…I ALSO DID THE BEST I DID WITH MY KIDS…THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOME ISSUES…BUT YOU LIVE AND LEARN.. AND I KNOW I DID THAT…I HAVE CHANGE WITH THE TIMES…AND STILL LEARNING AS I GO…YOU CAN DO THAT TO…
RIGHT NOW IM SETTING MY BOUNDRIES WITH YOU…I WILLING TO SIT BACK…I HOPE I CAN SEE THE GRANDS…BUT ON YOUR TERMS…BE ADULT ABOUT IT…I CAN SEE THEM ONCE A MONTH FOR A VISIT OR TALKING ON THE PHONE IS OK..BE WOMAN ABOUT IT AND TELL YOUR KIDS ITS OK…WHY U AND I DON’T SEE THE SAME PAGE…WE HAVE DIFFERENCES AND OUTLOOKS…AND ITS OK….
I LOVE U…AND IM HAPPY THAT THEY ARE BACK WITH YOU…DO WHATEVER IT TAKES…AND BE STRONG…I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK THAT I SAID WHAT I SAID IN THIS LETTER…BUT..I WANTED YOU TO KNOW ..WHAT IM FEELING…LOVE U JAZ..ALWALYS..MOMS….
sorry but i posted this for a reason....
HERE ARE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATES FOR THE BABIES…AND THERE SOCIAL SECTURITYS CARDS…
NOW…A FEW THINGS I NEED TO SAY FOR THE LAST TIME…THOSE TWO WKS OF CHAOS WAS ENOUGH…I LISTEN… I WAS HAPPY TO HAVE MY GRANDGIRLS AND WAS SO IMPRESS WITH MACKERS… THIS LAST YEAR WHERE I JUST STOPPED COMMUNICATION AND CUT ALL TIES… WAS A GOOD THING…ONE..MS.BEVERELY SUGGESTED THAT…SO I DID…LITERALLY STEPPED DOWN…MY STRESS FACTOR IS GONE…I HAD RESPONSABILTYS TO GUNTHER AND WILLIE…I WASN’T TAKING CARE OF THEM LIKE IT WAS..BEFORE THE GRANDS..I HAVE FOUCS ON GUNNY AND HE HAS SHINED HIS FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL…NO ESE AT THE MOMENT AND THAT IS IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW..HE HAS A DREAM AND I WILL STAND BEHIND HIM TIL HE WALKS ACROSS THAT STAGE…AND I WANT TO SEE THAT…I FELT I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY SON AND WILL WILL BECAUSE I WAS TENDING TO YOU…MOST OF ALL I SHOULD OF STOPPED TENDING TO YOU WHEN U TURN 18..MAYBE THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER OUTLOOK BETWEEN YOU AND ME..
I HAVE BENT OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU…I WAS THERE FOR YOU..I WAS THERE FOR THE GRANDS FROM DAY ONE…I LET YOU DESTORY MY APARTMENTS I GAVE YOU A CUSHION.. I GAVE U A HOME.. FOR YOU AND THE BABIES…BUT…I LET YOU..YELL AND CUSS ME..I LET YOU DISRESPECT ME AND MY HOME…I MUST BE THE MOST GULLABLE MOTHER OF ALL TIMES…I DIDN’T LET YOU FALL FLAT ON YOUR ASS…I KEPT TAKING U IN…CUZ U KNOW HOW TO MANIULATE ME..I LOVE U MOMMY…AND I FELL FOR IT…SO IF I KICKED YOU OUT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE U FALL…NOT FAIL…BUT FALL…I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING..INCLUDING RESPECT…YOU TOOK YOUR LIFE AT 13 AND STARTED RUNNING AND U BEEN RUNNING SINCE…YOU ARE STUCK IN THIS ALL ABOUT ME GENERATION…AND IT ANIT ABOUT YOU…YOU HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN(ITS ALL ABOUT THEM).. AND U HAVENT SHOWED THEM ANY STABLE ENIVORMENT YET…U NEVERED FINISHED SCHOOL…U DON’T HAVE A JOB…YOU DON’T HAVE A HOME FOR THEM..U DON’T HAVE MONEY..YOU DON’T HAVE A CAR…THESE ARE THINGS THAT U NEED TO HAVE…TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY…U MADE THAT DESCION WHEN U STARTED RUNNING AT 13..YOU MAY BE BLAMING ME FOR THAT…BUT U CANT…U RAN…I LET GO…I LET YOU COME IN ANT OUT OF MY LIFE…GIVING ME HAVIC….BECUZ I WAS A MOM..I FOLLOW ALONG WITH YOUR BULLSHIT…AND NOW U CANT HANDLE IT..CUZ IVE WALKED AWAY…FOR A WHOLE YEAR(AND U THINK BECUZ THAT HURTS YOU…NO..U HAVE HURTED ME) AND THAT TO ME IS A GOOD THING…I WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO YOUR BULL SHIT AND HOW U WANT TO RUNS THINGS…YOU ANIT IN CONTROL(YES IM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND WHO IS AROUND ME BUT I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU THAT I GUESS U DIDN’T GET THE MEMO)…. YOU ARE FLYING BY THE SEAT OF YOU PANTS WITH LIFE…THAT EVERYONE OWES YOU….
YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE GETTHO LIFE…KEEP ON..BUT YOUR CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING…THEY ARE NOT IN AN STABLE ENIRVOMENT…THEY BEEN IN FOSTERCARE…AND NOW A SHELTER…YOU BEEN THERE A WHOLE YEAR…AND WHAT I SEE…YOU THE SAME OLE JAZ…YOU HAVENT CHANGED…I WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING TO GET MY KIDS BACK..I WOULD OF TAKING ANYTHING TO TAKE THE PARENTING CLASSES THE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES…FROM DAY ONE WHEN THEY TOOK THE KIDS AND PUT THEM INTO FOSTERCARE…I WOULD OF BITCH SCREAM AND FOUGHT MY WAY TO GET MY KIDS OUT OF THE SYSTEM…THE MOMENT THEY WERE TAKEN…ITS 2011..I WOULD OF DONE ALL THINGS THAT THE COURT ASKED OF ME…AND WOULD OF DONE MORE OF WHAT THEY DIDN’T ASK OF YOU TO DO..TO GET THE KIDS BACK….THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A STURCTURE PLAN FOR YOU TO DO…A MOM WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING…
I SPENT MONEY FOR A LAWYER THAT DID NOTHING…I WOULD OF FOUGHT SO HARD…AND (YOU) SHOULD OF DEMANDED TO THE COURT AND THE STATE..FOR THEM TO BE WITH ME….YOU WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING FOR YOUR KIDS…BUT YOU LET IT GO…AND U HAD TO FOLLOW THERE RULES…BUT..U LIVE AND LEARN…THAT’S ON U…NOW U ALMOST HAVE THE KIDS…SO THE STATE WILL CLOSE THE CASE EVENTUALLY SO…GET IT DONE…AND GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE(DCF)…YOU OWE THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN…
I DIDN’T HAVE MY CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY…I TOOK AND TAKE CARED OF MY RESPONSABILITYS…AND I DID THAT FOR YOU TIL YOU WERE 29..NOW I WALKED AWAY AFTER TWO WKS…WHAT U CANT HANDLE IT…
NOW…I NEED TO SAY THIS ONE THING….I HAVE COME TO A CONSULION OF THIS…NOW IN MY LIFE…WHERE I CAN HANDLE THIS…WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY…….
ONE…GET YOUR KIDS BACK…(I STAYED OUT OF THIS FOR A REASON,FOR YOU TO GET THEM BACK)…(PLUS I THINK THAT U WOULD OF FIGURE THIS OUT WHY I STEPPED BACK FOR ALL THIS)...AT ANYTIME…AFTER THEY ARE OFFICALLY BACK WITH YOU 100%....
I CAN UNDERSTAND AND CAN ACCEPT THAT IF U CANT HANDLE BEING A MOM FOR ANY REASON…ITS OK…ITS OK FOR YOU TO DO WHAT U WANT TO DO..LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO…I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU.. I CAN LET IT GO….BUT IF YOU NEED ME TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS I WILL DO THAT…GIVE THEM A LIFE THAT IS STABLED…GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO ERASE WHAT AS BEEN DONE…AND GET THEM THRU THIS WITH CARING AND UNDERSTANDING SO THEY CAN BE SOMEBODY SOME DAY…ITS OK…FOR MY MOTHER TO LEAVE ME…OR A SISTER WHO LET ONE OF HERE KIDS GO..FOR ANOTHER SISTER TO WALK AWAY HER KIDS…ITS OK…I UNDERSTAND WHY MY SISTERS DID THAT.. BUT AS FOR MY OWN.. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY MOTHER WHY SHE WALKED AWAY FROM ME…I OVERCAME AND WENT BEYOND MY LIFE TO GET WHERE I AM TODAY…I HAVE FOUGHT FOR THIS LIFE…TO BE WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM…A STRONG OVER POWERING CONTROLLED MOTHER AND OR WOMAN…BE CUZ I DO AND GET WHAT I WANT…BY GOING AFTER IT…YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN…MORE STRONGER THAN ME..WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING YOUR OWN RULES AND LIVING THEM..YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK…I DON’T GIVE A FUCK..BUT I TEND TO HAVE THAT STUPID ASS RESOPNABILITY FACTOR IN MY ASS AT 200% MEANING I DO WHATS RIGHT I GUESS AS I LIVE LIFE…I MAY BITCH AND MOAN ..YOU KNOW I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…YOU ARE THERE MOTHER…BUT U CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE ON YOUR TERMS…JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF THEM..AND U DO YOUR THING…ITS OK JAZ…I UNDERSTAND…I GIVIN YOU AN OUTLET TO DO WHAT YOU WANT…BUT…I HOPE YOU CAN OVERCOME ALL THIS…AND PROVE ME WRONG…ANY THIS DOESN’T WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABIES…ITS FUNNY THERE ARE DIFFERENT RULES WHEN YOU BECOME A GRANDPARENT…I THINK YOU MATURE ENOUGH AND GET A SECOND CHANCE TO RAISE KIDS DIFFERENT..BUT WITH ALL THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN OR BEEN DONE TO…I HOPE I DID OVERCOME MY UPBRINGING BETTER THAN IT WAS DONE UPON ME.. I KNOW I DID A BETTER JOB…I ALSO DID THE BEST I DID WITH MY KIDS…THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOME ISSUES…BUT YOU LIVE AND LEARN.. AND I KNOW I DID THAT…I HAVE CHANGE WITH THE TIMES…AND STILL LEARNING AS I GO…YOU CAN DO THAT TO…
RIGHT NOW IM SETTING MY BOUNDRIES WITH YOU…I WILLING TO SIT BACK…I HOPE I CAN SEE THE GRANDS…BUT ON YOUR TERMS…BE ADULT ABOUT IT…I CAN SEE THEM ONCE A MONTH FOR A VISIT OR TALKING ON THE PHONE IS OK..BE WOMAN ABOUT IT AND TELL YOUR KIDS ITS OK…WHY U AND I DON’T SEE THE SAME PAGE…WE HAVE DIFFERENCES AND OUTLOOKS…AND ITS OK….
I LOVE U…AND IM HAPPY THAT THEY ARE BACK WITH YOU…DO WHATEVER IT TAKES…AND BE STRONG…I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK THAT I SAID WHAT I SAID IN THIS LETTER…BUT..I WANTED YOU TO KNOW ..WHAT IM FEELING…LOVE U JAZ..ALWALYS..MOMS….
sorry but i posted this for a reason....
lovin it............
telling our deepest secrets of life...and experiences...was a good convo....enjoying my chats with be....sitting here watching big brother on dvr on big brother after dark...for the next three hours...been doing that all summer...thank god i have showtime....days away...for school to start....waiting on that alone...get that boy up out of my house for school...since he has problems gettin up outta bed....gunny butt...get your ass up out of bed...school is in session..love moms........lol...........anyhoo...im out for a minute...aka sweets..
Friday, August 12, 2011
one more week...before school starts...
and thrusday the 18th....is orientation....and then...22nd is first day of school....lets go....so...got willies bike fixed..i was going to buy a new one...i should of...as much money i bought the bike and get a few things fixed was totalled to a new bike..but oh well...he happy at the moment....gunny has next week as his last week before school to help his dad....then he goes back to wkends helping daddy and me...if i go...maybe just saturdays for me....friday nights...i talk to my sweet honey from back home...enjoying that....lol........shit ...we talking up to 5 times during the day...everyday...pretty cool...........
watching big brother as usual...i have for the last 13 years....never gets old....good summer tv...i literally wait for big bro...........this wkend i anit doing shit....being lazy....damn i got over 600 emails this wk..remember when new shit on facebook....crap...might delete the group...dont like crowded emails...lol.......
well tired..and bored..and waiting for my friday night call...............love u be.....
watching big brother as usual...i have for the last 13 years....never gets old....good summer tv...i literally wait for big bro...........this wkend i anit doing shit....being lazy....damn i got over 600 emails this wk..remember when new shit on facebook....crap...might delete the group...dont like crowded emails...lol.......
well tired..and bored..and waiting for my friday night call...............love u be.....
Saturday, August 6, 2011
SHE TURNS 30 TODAY.....
MY DAUGHTER TURNS 30 TODAY...NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT...BUT HAVING HER THREE CHILDREN....WHEN I WAS 30...21YRS AGO...I HAD TWO KIDS...A APT...CABLE...CAR....AND I JUST COMPLETED MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE..............
SHE HAS DISAPPOINTED ME...AND HAS BROKEN MY HEART....IS THERE NO END TO THIS...I THINK SO...I HAD WASHED MY HANDS OF HER....DONT CARE IF IM A MOMMY OR SOME BITCH....LITERALLY RAKED OVER THE COALS FROM HER...WILL THERE BE IMPROVEMENT WITH HER.....NO.....TO BAD SO SAD.....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK JASMINE....U DOING SO GREAT AS A MOM....PROVIDER...AND WHATEVA ELSE U DO....WHICH IS NUTHING.............(me the writer..my own mother left me and my four sisters....and had that wicked stepmother bitch...im so thankful i had one daughter...cuz if i had three of them(my kids)i would kick the bitches out...so THANKS...to my mother...who gave me the tools...not to like the female daughter...cuz...this MAMA...has and was a good mother to all her kids...i can see where the mother/daughter/hate/love relationship really do exsist...ive lived it....) AS FOR MY SON...ERNESTO...HE WOULD BE MY IDEAL DAUGHTER....LOL....MY GAY SON...ERNESTO....LOVE U CRUZ...
SHE HAS DISAPPOINTED ME...AND HAS BROKEN MY HEART....IS THERE NO END TO THIS...I THINK SO...I HAD WASHED MY HANDS OF HER....DONT CARE IF IM A MOMMY OR SOME BITCH....LITERALLY RAKED OVER THE COALS FROM HER...WILL THERE BE IMPROVEMENT WITH HER.....NO.....TO BAD SO SAD.....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK JASMINE....U DOING SO GREAT AS A MOM....PROVIDER...AND WHATEVA ELSE U DO....WHICH IS NUTHING.............(me the writer..my own mother left me and my four sisters....and had that wicked stepmother bitch...im so thankful i had one daughter...cuz if i had three of them(my kids)i would kick the bitches out...so THANKS...to my mother...who gave me the tools...not to like the female daughter...cuz...this MAMA...has and was a good mother to all her kids...i can see where the mother/daughter/hate/love relationship really do exsist...ive lived it....) AS FOR MY SON...ERNESTO...HE WOULD BE MY IDEAL DAUGHTER....LOL....MY GAY SON...ERNESTO....LOVE U CRUZ...
Thursday, August 4, 2011
WOW........
AMAZING....SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TOO OF MY FUTURE...OF HAPPINESS...EVEN IF ITS A COUPLE OF DAYS...IVE LITERALLY WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT...AND IT WILL HAPPEN...WOW............LIFE IS GOOD..GOOD IS LIFE....
HAVING THOUGHTS AND TAUNTS ABOUT.........
MY SWEET FRIEND...TALKING MORE AND MORE DAILY....AS THESE WEEKS GO BY....HE PUTTING A SMILE ON MY FACE...AND MAKING ME LAUGH....LISTENING...CARING...UNDERSTANDING AND GIVING ADVICE WHEN NEEDED TO EACH OTHER.....AND WANTING MORE......BEEN DAYDREAMING ABOUT HIM....I WANT MORE...AND HOW WILL I GO ABOUT IT.....IM ONE OF THOSE WOMEN...THAT I WILL DO WHAT I WANT..I DONT FOLLOW THE RULES WHEN I WANT WHAT I WANT....SO AS THIS JOURNEY BEGINS WITH AND ABOUT BE..............MAMA GOING FOR IT.....LIVING LIFE...TIME TO MAKE ME....SWEETS A HAPPY CAMPER...... HERE IS A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT ME AND 93 THINGS ABOUT ME.........
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = large mickey d's coffee
2. last phone call =Apparently I called mike radice
3. last text message = gunther
4. last song you listened to = kickstart my heart/motley crue
5. last time you cried =friday night with mike radice.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice =yes..ernesto cruz jr..ewwwwww. .
7. been cheated on = Yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it = nope
9. lost someone special = yes..im talking to him now...........
10. been depressed = Yes.
11. been drunk: No....................2times with that damn ernesto cruz jr...in my (20's)
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12.purple
13. hunter freen
14. burgandy
THIS YEAR (2011), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend =yes
16. Fallen out of love = Yes
17. Laughed until you cried = Once
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were =yep
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yes does the other half count...
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = All
24. Do you have any pets =jack the cat...
25. Do you want to change your name = no
26. What did you do for your last birthday = what birthday..it was horrible
27. What time did you wake up today =6:15am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = blueeyes....m...r....
30. Last time you saw your mother =mothersday..1978
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = i would of pick a better college to go to..i would of changed my mind 30yrs ago...about..my decision with jasmine...i would of fought to win over blueeyes...but now i will work on getting blueeyes...i really love him...always have and always will..this man puts a smile on my face...and make me all gittty....
32. What are you listening to right now = telling the girls to wash there hands...
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? =no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = the girls are not listening....
35. Most visited webpage =facebook of course.
37. Nicknames =sweets..butterball ..sweetie..mom..bitch...lol......38. Relationship Status = well im debating about it..i tired now with mr willie...and im having a adult conversation with blue eyes..m...r....the name is up above...lol... 39. Zodiac sign =sagataruis..
40. He or She = he..
41. Elementary/Middle =edgewood elem../jefferson jr.high
42. High School =downers grove north
43. College =tampa college of lakeland
44. Hair color = blonde.at the moment....
45. Long or short = long
46. Height = 5'8"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = yep...blueeyes...always have and always will.... m...r...
48. What do you like about yourself? =i do what i want..nobody can stop me....
49. Piercings = two, both ears.
50. Tattoos = i wish...want one bad of gene simmons tongue........
51. Right or left handed = Right
FIRSTS :
52. First crush:david cassidy.....
53. First piercing = Ears,16 years old.
54. First best friend = bonnie .....
55. First sport you joined = nevered did that
56. First vacation =1979 came down to fl...and went to disney world....on my own...without the dallner family..we didnt do vaca...........
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = Nothing
60. Drinking = water.
61. I'm about to be = busy...and folding the wash....
62. Listening to = the girls playing and getting ready for a nap....
63. Waiting for = blueeyes to call me.............
YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? = have three.......
65. Get Married? = nope...want to live in sin.............lol......................
66. Career? =nanny............
WHICH IS BETTER?:
67. Lips or eyes = lips
68. Hugs or Kisses =always
69. Shorter or taller = Taller.
70. Older or Younger =young....
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Yes.
72. Nice stomach or Nice Arms = arms...
73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship =relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant =both...i love to cause trouble..without gettin caught...but then im hesitant..when it comes..to...............????.
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = nope
77. Drank hard liquor = last friday..with my bbf pat at applebees...
78. Lost glasses/contacts = yes.
80. Broken someone's heart = Yes..blueeyes back in 1981
81. Had your own heart broken = yep...by ernesto cruz.jr...jasmine dallner...
82. Been arrested = yep at the age of 40...and proud of it........
83. Turned someone down = yes..blue eyes back in 1981....
84. Cried when someone died = Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend = Yes..blueeyes..backin 2010
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself =right now..im trying to do just that...having a new attutude about doing what i want to do..and get what i want.....
87. Miracles = Yes88. Love at first sight = yes...blueeyes...m...r.....
89. Heaven = Yes.
90. Santa Claus = im santa clause...duh.......
91. Kiss on the first date = Yes
92. Angels = Yes
93. Unicorns =sure....its bright he tells me...told me it will make me blind.........lol.........ooooooooooo baby baby
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = large mickey d's coffee
2. last phone call =Apparently I called mike radice
3. last text message = gunther
4. last song you listened to = kickstart my heart/motley crue
5. last time you cried =friday night with mike radice.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice =yes..ernesto cruz jr..ewwwwww. .
7. been cheated on = Yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it = nope
9. lost someone special = yes..im talking to him now...........
10. been depressed = Yes.
11. been drunk: No....................2times with that damn ernesto cruz jr...in my (20's)
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12.purple
13. hunter freen
14. burgandy
THIS YEAR (2011), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend =yes
16. Fallen out of love = Yes
17. Laughed until you cried = Once
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were =yep
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = yes does the other half count...
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = All
24. Do you have any pets =jack the cat...
25. Do you want to change your name = no
26. What did you do for your last birthday = what birthday..it was horrible
27. What time did you wake up today =6:15am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = blueeyes....m...r....
30. Last time you saw your mother =mothersday..1978
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = i would of pick a better college to go to..i would of changed my mind 30yrs ago...about..my decision with jasmine...i would of fought to win over blueeyes...but now i will work on getting blueeyes...i really love him...always have and always will..this man puts a smile on my face...and make me all gittty....
32. What are you listening to right now = telling the girls to wash there hands...
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? =no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = the girls are not listening....
35. Most visited webpage =facebook of course.
37. Nicknames =sweets..butterball ..sweetie..mom..bitch...lol......38. Relationship Status = well im debating about it..i tired now with mr willie...and im having a adult conversation with blue eyes..m...r....the name is up above...lol... 39. Zodiac sign =sagataruis..
40. He or She = he..
41. Elementary/Middle =edgewood elem../jefferson jr.high
42. High School =downers grove north
43. College =tampa college of lakeland
44. Hair color = blonde.at the moment....
45. Long or short = long
46. Height = 5'8"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = yep...blueeyes...always have and always will.... m...r...
48. What do you like about yourself? =i do what i want..nobody can stop me....
49. Piercings = two, both ears.
50. Tattoos = i wish...want one bad of gene simmons tongue........
51. Right or left handed = Right
FIRSTS :
52. First crush:david cassidy.....
53. First piercing = Ears,16 years old.
54. First best friend = bonnie .....
55. First sport you joined = nevered did that
56. First vacation =1979 came down to fl...and went to disney world....on my own...without the dallner family..we didnt do vaca...........
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = Nothing
60. Drinking = water.
61. I'm about to be = busy...and folding the wash....
62. Listening to = the girls playing and getting ready for a nap....
63. Waiting for = blueeyes to call me.............
YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids? = have three.......
65. Get Married? = nope...want to live in sin.............lol......................
66. Career? =nanny............
WHICH IS BETTER?:
67. Lips or eyes = lips
68. Hugs or Kisses =always
69. Shorter or taller = Taller.
70. Older or Younger =young....
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Yes.
72. Nice stomach or Nice Arms = arms...
73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship =relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant =both...i love to cause trouble..without gettin caught...but then im hesitant..when it comes..to...............????.
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = nope
77. Drank hard liquor = last friday..with my bbf pat at applebees...
78. Lost glasses/contacts = yes.
80. Broken someone's heart = Yes..blueeyes back in 1981
81. Had your own heart broken = yep...by ernesto cruz.jr...jasmine dallner...
82. Been arrested = yep at the age of 40...and proud of it........
83. Turned someone down = yes..blue eyes back in 1981....
84. Cried when someone died = Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend = Yes..blueeyes..backin 2010
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself =right now..im trying to do just that...having a new attutude about doing what i want to do..and get what i want.....
87. Miracles = Yes88. Love at first sight = yes...blueeyes...m...r.....
89. Heaven = Yes.
90. Santa Claus = im santa clause...duh.......
91. Kiss on the first date = Yes
92. Angels = Yes
93. Unicorns =sure....its bright he tells me...told me it will make me blind.........lol.........ooooooooooo baby baby
Sunday, July 31, 2011
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I WENT AHEAD AND BOUGHT FOOD YESTERDAY...I TOLD HIM LAST NIGHT FROM NOW ON...NO EATING AT NIGHT...THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED...........THIS BITCH ATE HALF A LOAF OF RAISIN BREAD...GOD DAMN ..................I SWEAR...I ANIT BUYING FOOD.......FUCKIN FAT ASS...........I JUST TOLD HIM..TO ASK TO EAT...DAMN DO I HAVE TO TREAT HIM LIKE A CHILD....I GUESS SO.........SHIT...RING AND CUT HIS BALLS OFF...JACK ASS BITCH.................
Saturday, July 30, 2011
OK............IM SO DONE WITH THAT MAN...MY HUSBAND....
BEEN MARRIED FOR 16YRS TOGETHER FOR 17...LATELY...IM GETTING TO THE POINT...IM DONE...I MEAN I STILL TAKE CARE OF HIS ASS...BUT...IM SO OVER OF THIS.............
HE IS A GOOD PROVIDER..AND FATHER....BUT....HE IS SLIPPING .....
BACK IN 2007 HE GOT LAID OFF ON THIS JOB OF 25YRS...HE WAS DEDICATED TO THAT JOB..I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THAT....BUT...HE DID THE 6MONTHS OF UNEMPLOYMENT..FOUND A JOB...THRU A CLEANING COMPANY..AND HE WORKS 7DAYS A WK TWO DAY OFF A YEAR AT HARRYS BAR N GRILL DOWNTOWN LAKELAND..HE HATES THIS JOB...I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THAT...BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS SWEEP/MOP VACCUM AND CLEAN THE BATHROOMS...HE DID THE KITCHEN FLOORS FOR A MINUTE...BUT THEY ALL ARE CUTTING CORNERS....IN THIS DAMN RECESSION SHIT.......ANYWAYS.......ITS A 3HOUR JOB...DOES NOT GET PAID BY THE HOUR .GETS PAID TO GET THE JOB DONE(HE MAKES IT A 5/6HR JOB NIGHTLY)...NOT MUCH MONEY...BUT IT PAYS THE RENT..AND HE HAS MADE ATTEMPTS TO FUCK THIS UP....AND BEING THE WIFE THAT I AM...I HAVE TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND...SHIT..WE COULD BE HOMELESS...AND MY SON DOES NOT DESERVE THIS..SO ME..I BITCH ABOUT THIS...BUT REALLY WHAT MAKES ME REALLY PISSED.................IS
OK HE HAD A HEART ATTACK IN JAN.2007 LOST THE JOB...11/2007... SO HES ON MEDS...AND HES DOING PRETTY GOOD THERE...BUT...ITS HOW HE IS NOT TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF...AND I BITCH ON THIS ORDEAL...SO...WE BARELY KEEP FOOD IN THE HOUSE...WE HAVE NO MONEY...I PAY THE BILLS...AND HE WORKS...MY SON IS IN HIGH SCHOOL..AND IM A NANNY GETTING PAID UNDER THE TABLE...SO I GET THE BILLS PAID..AND I CANT KEEP FOOD IN THE HOUSE....
I WANT A CUP OF COFFEE...NO CREAMER....WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY IS...IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT.........IVE BEEN GETTING THE FANCY CREAMERS....LIKE VANILLA/ OR FRENCH...OR CARMEL...TO PUT IN THE COFFEE THAT WAY I DONT USE THE SUGAR...THIS DAMN MAN DRINKS IT STRAIGHT RIGHT OUT OF THE DAMN CONTANINER..I MEAN EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....WHEN THERE IS NO MILK IN THE HOUSE...HE HITS THE CREAMER... THE MAYO....EATS IT LIKE NOTHING...I CAN HAVE NO MEAT IN THE HOUSE AND THIS BITCH HAS A MAYO SANDWHICH...FOR ALL U PEPS OUT THERE..A CHOKE SANWICH...(LOL)....I DONT BUY THE MAYO AT TIMES...I HAVE TO HIDE IT IN THE REFRIG.........DOES THE SUGAR LIKE THIS...ANYTHING I BUY HE HAS TO EAT...I CAN BUY FOOD ON FRIDAY FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WKS...AND ITS GONE IN TWO DAY FROM THAT FRIDAY....AND SOMETIMES I DONT BUY FOOD BECUZ OF THIS....YES I HAVE MAC/CHEESE...RICE..SPAGETTHIS...(CANT SPELL EITHER)..ANYHOO....CAN VEGTABLES..LIVING ON NOTHING HERE...I STARTED MY DIET 2MONTHS AGO..IM DOING STRAIGHT BABY FOOD...LOST 10LBS...NOW...HE DRINKS WATER...ALL THE TIME....WORKS AND SWEATS..BUT HE DOESNT LOSE WEIGHT...HE IS LIKE 40LBS OVER WEIGHT WHICH IS NOT BAD...ME WIFEY..IS OVER 90LBS OVERWEIGHT OK..........SO IM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT..IT..BUT I CAN GET ALL OVER HIM...AND TELL HIM DONT TOUCH MY MILK OR MY CREAMER..OR THE TUNA..OR THE MAYO..OR JUICE...OR THE WHATEVAS...EVERY TIME I PUT FOOD IN THIS HOUSE...HE DOENST LISTEN.....I STILL HAVE A GROWING BOY TO FEED...I THINK MY HUBSAND FORGOT WE HAVE A CHILD TO RAISE...SURE TWO MORE YEARS IM DONE WITH MY DUTIES AS A PARENT...BUT DAMN...WHY DO WOMEN THINK OF THESE THINGS...AND THE DAMN MAN...DONT GIVE A FUCK...WELL I DONT GIVE A FUCK...I JUST WONT BUY FOOD ANYMORE....SO ....
HIS JOB AND FOOD IS MY FUCKIN PROBLEM AND HE IS ACTING FUNNY LATELY WHEN IT COMES TO DO SOMEHTING FOR ME OR HIS KID...HE IS ALL OF A SUDDEN SICK...OR I DONT FEEL GOOD....GIVE ME A BREAK,....MAN/A/PAUSE HERE.....AND HE REACHING 60 BY NEXT YEAR...AND DONT LET ME BITCH ABOUT HIM TAKING HIS MEDS...I HAD TO TAKE THAT OVER TOO....HE EATS THEM...I HAD TO PUT A STOP TO THAT AT LEAST 2 YRS AGO....I HAVE TO HAVE A PILL BOX FOR THAT...IM TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF A CHILD....WHO IS 59YRS OLD...SHIT WHEN CAN I START BEING A CHILD AGAIN....OH WAIT...I DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT....U SLIPPING SWEETS...........LOL..........................
HE IS A GOOD PROVIDER..AND FATHER....BUT....HE IS SLIPPING .....
BACK IN 2007 HE GOT LAID OFF ON THIS JOB OF 25YRS...HE WAS DEDICATED TO THAT JOB..I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THAT....BUT...HE DID THE 6MONTHS OF UNEMPLOYMENT..FOUND A JOB...THRU A CLEANING COMPANY..AND HE WORKS 7DAYS A WK TWO DAY OFF A YEAR AT HARRYS BAR N GRILL DOWNTOWN LAKELAND..HE HATES THIS JOB...I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THAT...BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS SWEEP/MOP VACCUM AND CLEAN THE BATHROOMS...HE DID THE KITCHEN FLOORS FOR A MINUTE...BUT THEY ALL ARE CUTTING CORNERS....IN THIS DAMN RECESSION SHIT.......ANYWAYS.......ITS A 3HOUR JOB...DOES NOT GET PAID BY THE HOUR .GETS PAID TO GET THE JOB DONE(HE MAKES IT A 5/6HR JOB NIGHTLY)...NOT MUCH MONEY...BUT IT PAYS THE RENT..AND HE HAS MADE ATTEMPTS TO FUCK THIS UP....AND BEING THE WIFE THAT I AM...I HAVE TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND...SHIT..WE COULD BE HOMELESS...AND MY SON DOES NOT DESERVE THIS..SO ME..I BITCH ABOUT THIS...BUT REALLY WHAT MAKES ME REALLY PISSED.................IS
OK HE HAD A HEART ATTACK IN JAN.2007 LOST THE JOB...11/2007... SO HES ON MEDS...AND HES DOING PRETTY GOOD THERE...BUT...ITS HOW HE IS NOT TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF...AND I BITCH ON THIS ORDEAL...SO...WE BARELY KEEP FOOD IN THE HOUSE...WE HAVE NO MONEY...I PAY THE BILLS...AND HE WORKS...MY SON IS IN HIGH SCHOOL..AND IM A NANNY GETTING PAID UNDER THE TABLE...SO I GET THE BILLS PAID..AND I CANT KEEP FOOD IN THE HOUSE....
I WANT A CUP OF COFFEE...NO CREAMER....WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY IS...IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT.........IVE BEEN GETTING THE FANCY CREAMERS....LIKE VANILLA/ OR FRENCH...OR CARMEL...TO PUT IN THE COFFEE THAT WAY I DONT USE THE SUGAR...THIS DAMN MAN DRINKS IT STRAIGHT RIGHT OUT OF THE DAMN CONTANINER..I MEAN EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....WHEN THERE IS NO MILK IN THE HOUSE...HE HITS THE CREAMER... THE MAYO....EATS IT LIKE NOTHING...I CAN HAVE NO MEAT IN THE HOUSE AND THIS BITCH HAS A MAYO SANDWHICH...FOR ALL U PEPS OUT THERE..A CHOKE SANWICH...(LOL)....I DONT BUY THE MAYO AT TIMES...I HAVE TO HIDE IT IN THE REFRIG.........DOES THE SUGAR LIKE THIS...ANYTHING I BUY HE HAS TO EAT...I CAN BUY FOOD ON FRIDAY FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF WKS...AND ITS GONE IN TWO DAY FROM THAT FRIDAY....AND SOMETIMES I DONT BUY FOOD BECUZ OF THIS....YES I HAVE MAC/CHEESE...RICE..SPAGETTHIS...(CANT SPELL EITHER)..ANYHOO....CAN VEGTABLES..LIVING ON NOTHING HERE...I STARTED MY DIET 2MONTHS AGO..IM DOING STRAIGHT BABY FOOD...LOST 10LBS...NOW...HE DRINKS WATER...ALL THE TIME....WORKS AND SWEATS..BUT HE DOESNT LOSE WEIGHT...HE IS LIKE 40LBS OVER WEIGHT WHICH IS NOT BAD...ME WIFEY..IS OVER 90LBS OVERWEIGHT OK..........SO IM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT..IT..BUT I CAN GET ALL OVER HIM...AND TELL HIM DONT TOUCH MY MILK OR MY CREAMER..OR THE TUNA..OR THE MAYO..OR JUICE...OR THE WHATEVAS...EVERY TIME I PUT FOOD IN THIS HOUSE...HE DOENST LISTEN.....I STILL HAVE A GROWING BOY TO FEED...I THINK MY HUBSAND FORGOT WE HAVE A CHILD TO RAISE...SURE TWO MORE YEARS IM DONE WITH MY DUTIES AS A PARENT...BUT DAMN...WHY DO WOMEN THINK OF THESE THINGS...AND THE DAMN MAN...DONT GIVE A FUCK...WELL I DONT GIVE A FUCK...I JUST WONT BUY FOOD ANYMORE....SO ....
HIS JOB AND FOOD IS MY FUCKIN PROBLEM AND HE IS ACTING FUNNY LATELY WHEN IT COMES TO DO SOMEHTING FOR ME OR HIS KID...HE IS ALL OF A SUDDEN SICK...OR I DONT FEEL GOOD....GIVE ME A BREAK,....MAN/A/PAUSE HERE.....AND HE REACHING 60 BY NEXT YEAR...AND DONT LET ME BITCH ABOUT HIM TAKING HIS MEDS...I HAD TO TAKE THAT OVER TOO....HE EATS THEM...I HAD TO PUT A STOP TO THAT AT LEAST 2 YRS AGO....I HAVE TO HAVE A PILL BOX FOR THAT...IM TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF A CHILD....WHO IS 59YRS OLD...SHIT WHEN CAN I START BEING A CHILD AGAIN....OH WAIT...I DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT....U SLIPPING SWEETS...........LOL..........................
DAMN.....
JUST LOVE THE BITCH THAT COMES OUT OF ME....HIT MY LINK TO MY DAUGHTERS PAGE...http://sweets59.blogspot.com.......MAMA GOING OFF AS I WAS MEANT TO BE....THINK I WILL TWIT THIS TODAY...........
wow..........last night was..............
was a good night...be called me...i had left a message earlier in the night...so we had a good hour on the phone...i just had to have that moment to talk about im going thru...and what i will do for him...when that times happens...i really do love him...i told him...last night..i was in love with him...when i worked with him...at burger king...in the late 1970's..so these adult phone convos...is what i need just now....GET OVER IT...READERS...if u are wondering...i still love my hubby...but....be makes me smile...thats what i need...gee us im going to hell......WHATEVA...........im sweets....i do what the fqck i want..................LOL.........
Thursday, July 28, 2011
sweet be.............
wanted some .coms...........so i gave some out....................ok.........i can do that.....and i gave be a encouragement letter and a chuckle to go along with it............love u be.............always bon bon....
i lost 10 lbs..........
i lost 10 lbs...and yesterday...i bought me a spanx body shaper...at lane byrants....a small one at that...to start controlling my body...to the shape i want it...makes me look smaller....30 years ago..i did that gurdle thingy....and i lost weight after having jasmine...so i figure...i will try that again...and bought the body shaper....gee us...i let 20 plus years without losing the weight....after having my sons... i owe myself and my sons...to look like a skinner mommy............so...here i go here i go....i guess i will wear my dresses now....since its a chore to use the bathroom....lol............the art of taking care of your figure......lol..............im out .........later............sweets checking out...............
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
misc..stuff
well im really love being a nanny.....since the girls are out for school....we done a few things...like....making homemade bird house....doing little arts and crafts thingys.....sometimes...the oldest girl will make her bed...the little one helps me in the bathroom....and i showed them how to mop the floors....but today...the little one who is four...just her and i we did cupcakes.....love it.....she did so good....we made them green/blue...sprinkled sprinkles in them....and going to frost them in a minute....pics up in min.....her older sister who is six is at sewing camp....during the morning hours...the baby....she is the sweetest boo boo in the world....yesterday i felt the first tooth coming...had to text her mommy...of the news......so im loving my nanny job....its the best...im glad i left the church program...the fax ness of people are unreal....and waited and struggle for four months to find this nanny position....care.com...if u looking for a nanny in your area....well im sweets and im out.....later.............
Monday, July 25, 2011
daydreaming...........
i could be..........laughing...talking bs about everything and anything....but i like it....i want it....im going after it...im going to get it............in time.........a cruise is in the making.....
Sunday, July 24, 2011
again.....REALLY...................
PLEASE..........OK...SO IT STARTED WITH A PHONE VM...ON MY CELL..WK LATER SHE CALLED ME...I LISTENED...AND WASNT NEGATIVE...TWO DAYS LATER..SHE CALLS TELLS ME I CAN TAKE THE GIRLS EVERY WKEND...SO THATS HOW I TOOK THE GIRLS TO DAYTONA...WHEN I DROPPED THEM OFF I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...AND I LISTEN AGAIN...SHE ASKED ME TO GET THE GIRLS UNIFORM SHIRTS FOR THE GIRLS....AND BEADS FOR THERE HAIR...AND KEPT ASKING ME TO GO TO MICKEY DS FOR FOOD....AS I LEFT...SHE GOES MA..I MAKING A BACK UP PLAN...TO LEAVE...AS I WAS THERE..I TOLD HER...THAT ONE SHE COULD NEVER EVER LIVE WITH ME...AND DONT DISREPECT OR CUSS OR HIT ME....THE ONLY TWO RULES I GAVE HER....SO...
I WAS TO PICK UP THE GIRLS YESTERDAY.... SHE CALLS ME LIKE AT 4:15...(I SAID BE 6PM I WOULD GET THEM...) SO SHE TELLS ME...ONE EVERY OTHER WKEND WITH THE GIRLS(NO VISIT WITH MELLY.SHE WANTS TO BOND WITH HIM..I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT AND ACCEPT THAT)...SHE COULDNT COME ON SUNDAY TO VISIT WITH ME BECUZ...SHE TELLS ME..I HAVE TO GO TO LIGHTHOUSE AND HAVE A SAFETY MEETING WITH THEM...IN ORDER FOR HER TO HAVE HOME VISITS WITH ME...(HER AND MELLY) AND TELLS ME....THAT SHE JUST GAVE A PERM ON KEKE S HEAD AND STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR....SO..............
DUMB ASS HERE... ME......WENT RIGHT BACK TO DEFENSE MODE.....ONE....KNOWING JAZ...SHE MADE ME THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH AT LIGHTHOUSE....CUZ THEY KNOW ABOUT OUR CHAOS RELATIONSHIP...TWO..SHE IS INTERNING AND GETTIN ON THE JOB TRAINING...BUT...SHE MAKING NO MONEY...SO IF THEY TAKING CARE OF HER...AND THE KIDS...SO HOW DOES SHE GET DIAPERS FOR MELLY...AND KEKE GOT HER HAIR DONE...WELL SHE CAN GET UNIFORMS TOPS FOR THE GIRLS..AND WHAT EVER ELSE...I ANIT AND NOR IS IT MY RESPONDABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN..I BEEN THERE DONE THAT...WHY WOULD I BE SUBJECT TO A SAFETY MEETING....ON OUR RELATIONSHIP...FUCK THAT...IVE EARNED MY KEEP ON THIS EARTH...AND THAT...(SHE ) HASNT.....SO..I DIDNT PICK UP THE GIRLS..I MADE SOME EXCUSE ON THERE VM AT LIGHTHOUSE...SHE DIDNT GET THE MESSAGE...AND SHE TELLS ME ON MY VM..SO U HAVING A HISSY FIT...AND U WILL NOT SEE THE KIDS EVER AGAIN...SO..I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN...IM BACK AT MAKING THE CHOICE TO STEPP BACK..LIKE I BEEN DOING...AND THESE LAST TWO WKS OF CHAOS IS OVER....MY OPINION KEL...IS IF SHE IS SCHEMING AGAIN...THATS THE OLD JAZ....I KNEW SHE WOULD DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO GET THE KIDS BACK...AND WORK THE SYSTEM...BECUZ..SHE IS ITCHING TO GET BACK ON THE STREETS..FOR WHAT EVER.....AND INCLUDING...DRINKING AND DICK.......SO I WILL JUST SIT BACK...AND GOD FORBID MY KIDS GO BACK TO FOSTERCARE...I WANT THEM ...BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THEM BACK...LIKE I SAID ..AND WE ALL KNOW..THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN...
i had message a friend of mine....to express what didnt happen...and i didnt have the granddaughters this wkend....cuz....i feel i have let chaos happen these last 2wks...and its just the start...so...i back in my FUCK THAT SHIT....dont have time for her....her kids...her life...she will WILL FUCK IT UP.... and i will sit back and watch from the sidelines....but then again....i am a mommy.....and she may be 30yrs old...shit i will do a casey anthony on her ass and pled guilty and save tax payers money and go to big girl prison....lol... DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD....LOL WHATEVA......I WANT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER....NOT A MAMA TO HER...im cuttin the rope....done...nada...jack...and somebody and use that rope to hang my ass or hit me along side of the head....shit...JUST KICK MY ASS PLEASE................not falling for the 30yr old daughter.....shit she been running THE STREETS since 13...leave ME OUT OF IT....REALLY.........................SWEETS OUT..............
I WAS TO PICK UP THE GIRLS YESTERDAY.... SHE CALLS ME LIKE AT 4:15...(I SAID BE 6PM I WOULD GET THEM...) SO SHE TELLS ME...ONE EVERY OTHER WKEND WITH THE GIRLS(NO VISIT WITH MELLY.SHE WANTS TO BOND WITH HIM..I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT AND ACCEPT THAT)...SHE COULDNT COME ON SUNDAY TO VISIT WITH ME BECUZ...SHE TELLS ME..I HAVE TO GO TO LIGHTHOUSE AND HAVE A SAFETY MEETING WITH THEM...IN ORDER FOR HER TO HAVE HOME VISITS WITH ME...(HER AND MELLY) AND TELLS ME....THAT SHE JUST GAVE A PERM ON KEKE S HEAD AND STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR....SO..............
DUMB ASS HERE... ME......WENT RIGHT BACK TO DEFENSE MODE.....ONE....KNOWING JAZ...SHE MADE ME THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH AT LIGHTHOUSE....CUZ THEY KNOW ABOUT OUR CHAOS RELATIONSHIP...TWO..SHE IS INTERNING AND GETTIN ON THE JOB TRAINING...BUT...SHE MAKING NO MONEY...SO IF THEY TAKING CARE OF HER...AND THE KIDS...SO HOW DOES SHE GET DIAPERS FOR MELLY...AND KEKE GOT HER HAIR DONE...WELL SHE CAN GET UNIFORMS TOPS FOR THE GIRLS..AND WHAT EVER ELSE...I ANIT AND NOR IS IT MY RESPONDABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN..I BEEN THERE DONE THAT...WHY WOULD I BE SUBJECT TO A SAFETY MEETING....ON OUR RELATIONSHIP...FUCK THAT...IVE EARNED MY KEEP ON THIS EARTH...AND THAT...(SHE ) HASNT.....SO..I DIDNT PICK UP THE GIRLS..I MADE SOME EXCUSE ON THERE VM AT LIGHTHOUSE...SHE DIDNT GET THE MESSAGE...AND SHE TELLS ME ON MY VM..SO U HAVING A HISSY FIT...AND U WILL NOT SEE THE KIDS EVER AGAIN...SO..I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN...IM BACK AT MAKING THE CHOICE TO STEPP BACK..LIKE I BEEN DOING...AND THESE LAST TWO WKS OF CHAOS IS OVER....MY OPINION KEL...IS IF SHE IS SCHEMING AGAIN...THATS THE OLD JAZ....I KNEW SHE WOULD DO WHAT EVER IT TOOK TO GET THE KIDS BACK...AND WORK THE SYSTEM...BECUZ..SHE IS ITCHING TO GET BACK ON THE STREETS..FOR WHAT EVER.....AND INCLUDING...DRINKING AND DICK.......SO I WILL JUST SIT BACK...AND GOD FORBID MY KIDS GO BACK TO FOSTERCARE...I WANT THEM ...BUT DONT KNOW HOW TO GET THEM BACK...LIKE I SAID ..AND WE ALL KNOW..THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN...
i had message a friend of mine....to express what didnt happen...and i didnt have the granddaughters this wkend....cuz....i feel i have let chaos happen these last 2wks...and its just the start...so...i back in my FUCK THAT SHIT....dont have time for her....her kids...her life...she will WILL FUCK IT UP.... and i will sit back and watch from the sidelines....but then again....i am a mommy.....and she may be 30yrs old...shit i will do a casey anthony on her ass and pled guilty and save tax payers money and go to big girl prison....lol... DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD....LOL WHATEVA......I WANT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER....NOT A MAMA TO HER...im cuttin the rope....done...nada...jack...and somebody and use that rope to hang my ass or hit me along side of the head....shit...JUST KICK MY ASS PLEASE................not falling for the 30yr old daughter.....shit she been running THE STREETS since 13...leave ME OUT OF IT....REALLY.........................SWEETS OUT..............
GOTTA GET BACK TO BLOGGIN...............
ADJUSTED SOME OF MY WEBSITE HERE ON BLOGGER....ADDED PICS AND SUCH....KEEPING UP WITH THE LOVE LETTERS TO THE GRANDBABIES....TRYING TO GET MY THREE THE MAJIC NUMBER BLOG GOING...BEEN NELGECTING THAT PAGE....AND TRYING TO KEEP UPDATES HERE ON BUTTERBALL BABYS PAGE...........THEY ARE ALL LINKED...SO HIT THEM UP....SWEETS...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
RECENT HAPPENINGS...FOR ME......
SOMETIME BACK IN APRIL/2011 I GOT THREE BIRTHDAY CARDS FOR MELLY MAC..MY GRANDSON...HE WAS TURNING TWO....SO I MAILED THEM TO THE FOSTERCARE ATE THE WINTERHAVEN OFFICE.... WHEN CKING TO SEE IF THEY SEND THE CARDS TO HIM...THE LEAD CASE MGR...JUST HAPPEN TO BE ON VACATION....SO I CALLED AROUND THE LAST WK OF JUNE...TO THE CASE MGR....YES HE GOT THEM AND BY THE WAY...JASMINE HAS THE KIDS....WELL JULY 4TH HAPPEN...THAT WKEND BEFORE THE CELL WAS SCREWING UP...AND I HAD TO GO TO SPRINT AND GET IT CKED OUT....AND THE VOLUME WAS TURNED OFF....SO...THE GIRLS LEFTED ME A VOICEMAIL....I HAD TO HEAR IT A FEW TIMES...IT WAS WEIRD...I COULDNT MAKE OUT THE VOICES TIL I CALLED THE NUMBER AND IT WENT TO VM...AT LIGHTHOUSE MINISTIRES.....
A WEEK LATER....I GET A PHONE CALL FROM JAZ....SHE GOT MY NUMBER FROM THE LEAD CASE MGR,....I LISTEN...WAS POSITIVE WITH HER....AND SHE LET ME TALKED TO THE GIRLS...AND MAILMAN....I GOT OFF WORK AT 6PM THAT DAY...I TOTALLY KEPT IT TOGETHER...TIL I GOT IN THE CAR...AND WAS A NERVOUS WRECK...AND MY STOMACH WAS CHURNING....I CALLED MY BBF BERYL...AND GOT THRU THE ORDEAL...SO I PROGRAM THE PHONE....SO I KNOW WHEN SHE CALLS...AND I CAN OPT OUT IF I DONT WANT TO TALK....SO...ANYWAYS...SHE CALLED TWO DAYS LATER...AND ASKED ME IF I COULD TAKE THE GIRLS THAT WKEND...AND I SAID I WAS GOING TO DAYTONA BEACH AND I SLIPPED AND SAID I JUST TAKE THE GIRLS WITH ME....
SO I HAD A GOOD TIME WITH THE GRANDDAUGHTERS...AND GUNNY AND T...AND MY BBF PAT.........WHEN I WAS GETTING READY TO DROPPED OFF THE GIRLS...I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...THE MAILMAN....HE LOOKED SO SHARP AND CUTE AND A GROWN LITTLE MAN....AND HE GAVE ME KISSES AND SMACK HIS MOUTH WITH THE SOUND EACH TIME HE GAVE ME A KISS....WHEN SAYING GOODBYE...THE GIRLS DIDNT WANT ME TO GO...AND KEKE WANTED TO COME HOME WITH ME....ITS OK....
I TOLD JAZ TWO THINGS...ONE YOU ANIT LIVING WITH ME EVER....AND DO NOT DISREPECST ME OR CUSS AT ME...AS I WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME WITH HER....BUT I WILL BE CAUTIOUS WITH HER....AND SET BOUNDRIES...WITH HER....I CANT FALL BACK INTO HER WITH HER CRAP...I DONT HAVE THE TIME...PATIENCE OR STRENGTH TO GO ON WITH HER...I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO...LIKE......STAND BEHIND GUNTHER...IS AUGUST 22ND HERE YET....FOR SCHOOL...LOL.........AND TAKE CARE OF WILLIE....
STILL DIETING....I VE SLIPPED A FEW TIMES....IF I THINK ABOUT IT...AT LEAST 7DAYS...OUT OF 2MONTHS...SO THATS NOT BAD AT ALL....THE TRAZADONE FOR MY SLEEP WASNT WORKING THERE FOR A MINUTE....TAKING THE TRAZADONE WITH 3 LITTLE CUPS OF NYQUEL...AND IM SLEEPING REALLY SLEEPING...SO I WELL BETTER AND RESTED...HATE DO THAT...BUT I GOTS TO DO WHAT I GOTS TO DO.....NOW.......
BLUEEYES....IM IN LOVE WITH HIM...ALWASY HAVE BEEN...SO MAMA HERE IS HAVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ON THE PHONE WITH BLUEEYES...HE WAS THE ONE MAN OUT OF 6(BOYFRIENDS) BESIDES WILLIE...THAT DIDNT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME....I TOLD HIM THAT THE OTHER DAY....PLUS I HELPING HIM OUT FOR A MINUTE...I WOULD TELL U WHAT IT IS...BUT THIS IS BETWEEN BLUEEYES AND ME....BEING A FRIEND....I JUST WROTE HIM TWO LETTERS AND SEND HIM SOME STAMPS...SEE WHERE THIS TAKES ME....OR US......I CAN WAIT.....BUT HE MAKES ME SMILE WHEN WE SAY BYE ON THE PHONE...AND HE SAYS HE LOVES ME...THAT WILL DO...FOR NOW....I DO LOVE WILLIE...AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM.. AND HES MY HUBBY....BUT WE OPENED MINDED HERE..WILLIE LETS ME DO WHAT I WANT...WITHIN REASON...BUT IT DOESNT HURT TO HAVE A FRIEND....EVEN IF ITS A MAN...OR A OLD BOYFREIND...THAT I JUST HAPPEN TO LOVE...WAY BACK IN THE LATE 70'S.....AND WE SAW EACH OTHER IN 1988 AND THE NEXT TIME I SAW HIM WAS 2010...NOW I WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM......IM PROFESSING MY LOVE FOR HIM...
WELL IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING OFF
A WEEK LATER....I GET A PHONE CALL FROM JAZ....SHE GOT MY NUMBER FROM THE LEAD CASE MGR,....I LISTEN...WAS POSITIVE WITH HER....AND SHE LET ME TALKED TO THE GIRLS...AND MAILMAN....I GOT OFF WORK AT 6PM THAT DAY...I TOTALLY KEPT IT TOGETHER...TIL I GOT IN THE CAR...AND WAS A NERVOUS WRECK...AND MY STOMACH WAS CHURNING....I CALLED MY BBF BERYL...AND GOT THRU THE ORDEAL...SO I PROGRAM THE PHONE....SO I KNOW WHEN SHE CALLS...AND I CAN OPT OUT IF I DONT WANT TO TALK....SO...ANYWAYS...SHE CALLED TWO DAYS LATER...AND ASKED ME IF I COULD TAKE THE GIRLS THAT WKEND...AND I SAID I WAS GOING TO DAYTONA BEACH AND I SLIPPED AND SAID I JUST TAKE THE GIRLS WITH ME....
SO I HAD A GOOD TIME WITH THE GRANDDAUGHTERS...AND GUNNY AND T...AND MY BBF PAT.........WHEN I WAS GETTING READY TO DROPPED OFF THE GIRLS...I GOT TO SEE MELLY MAC...THE MAILMAN....HE LOOKED SO SHARP AND CUTE AND A GROWN LITTLE MAN....AND HE GAVE ME KISSES AND SMACK HIS MOUTH WITH THE SOUND EACH TIME HE GAVE ME A KISS....WHEN SAYING GOODBYE...THE GIRLS DIDNT WANT ME TO GO...AND KEKE WANTED TO COME HOME WITH ME....ITS OK....
I TOLD JAZ TWO THINGS...ONE YOU ANIT LIVING WITH ME EVER....AND DO NOT DISREPECST ME OR CUSS AT ME...AS I WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME WITH HER....BUT I WILL BE CAUTIOUS WITH HER....AND SET BOUNDRIES...WITH HER....I CANT FALL BACK INTO HER WITH HER CRAP...I DONT HAVE THE TIME...PATIENCE OR STRENGTH TO GO ON WITH HER...I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO...LIKE......STAND BEHIND GUNTHER...IS AUGUST 22ND HERE YET....FOR SCHOOL...LOL.........AND TAKE CARE OF WILLIE....
STILL DIETING....I VE SLIPPED A FEW TIMES....IF I THINK ABOUT IT...AT LEAST 7DAYS...OUT OF 2MONTHS...SO THATS NOT BAD AT ALL....THE TRAZADONE FOR MY SLEEP WASNT WORKING THERE FOR A MINUTE....TAKING THE TRAZADONE WITH 3 LITTLE CUPS OF NYQUEL...AND IM SLEEPING REALLY SLEEPING...SO I WELL BETTER AND RESTED...HATE DO THAT...BUT I GOTS TO DO WHAT I GOTS TO DO.....NOW.......
BLUEEYES....IM IN LOVE WITH HIM...ALWASY HAVE BEEN...SO MAMA HERE IS HAVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP ON THE PHONE WITH BLUEEYES...HE WAS THE ONE MAN OUT OF 6(BOYFRIENDS) BESIDES WILLIE...THAT DIDNT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME....I TOLD HIM THAT THE OTHER DAY....PLUS I HELPING HIM OUT FOR A MINUTE...I WOULD TELL U WHAT IT IS...BUT THIS IS BETWEEN BLUEEYES AND ME....BEING A FRIEND....I JUST WROTE HIM TWO LETTERS AND SEND HIM SOME STAMPS...SEE WHERE THIS TAKES ME....OR US......I CAN WAIT.....BUT HE MAKES ME SMILE WHEN WE SAY BYE ON THE PHONE...AND HE SAYS HE LOVES ME...THAT WILL DO...FOR NOW....I DO LOVE WILLIE...AND I TAKE CARE OF HIM.. AND HES MY HUBBY....BUT WE OPENED MINDED HERE..WILLIE LETS ME DO WHAT I WANT...WITHIN REASON...BUT IT DOESNT HURT TO HAVE A FRIEND....EVEN IF ITS A MAN...OR A OLD BOYFREIND...THAT I JUST HAPPEN TO LOVE...WAY BACK IN THE LATE 70'S.....AND WE SAW EACH OTHER IN 1988 AND THE NEXT TIME I SAW HIM WAS 2010...NOW I WANT TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HIM......IM PROFESSING MY LOVE FOR HIM...
WELL IM OUT...SWEETS SIGNING OFF
Friday, July 8, 2011
MOTLEY CRUE..7/6/11
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